


This Time

by Deans_Fetish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Dean, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Angst, Dubious Consent, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Abuse, Mental Instability, Physical Abuse, Schmoop, Swearing, Verbal Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-30
Updated: 2009-07-30
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:38:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 51,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9087325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deans_Fetish/pseuds/Deans_Fetish
Summary: Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> * This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> This FanFiction was written for the LiveJournal's "Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester" challenge. (Which I won due to this fiction ♥.)

Gasping for breath, Sam struggled against the hands at his throat; his head was pounding from being struck so many times. 

He could already feel his right eye swelling from one of the blows he had received to it, but he ignored it, continuing to try to fight his way free of the hands at his throat. 

Sam slapped and shoved at the one choking him, never punching. 

He wasn't good enough to punch him, good enough to punch Dean. 

Dean was perfect, he was the perfect son. 

Sam was a mistake, cursed, unworthy, he was lucky to have Dean with him at all. 

Sam would never punch him, not even in self defense.

He would never do anything to make Dean angry enough to leave, if Dean left, then Sam would be alone with no one to love him, no one to put up with him. 

Who else would put up with a disease like him? That's all he was after all, a disease that killed those who got too close.

Dean was right about that, like he was right about everything else.

Dean was always right, always perfect. 

Sam wished he could be like Dean, but he wasn't. Never would be.

It was why he put up with the pain, the lies, the things that Dean said and did, because Sam knew, deep down he knew, Dean was right.

Blackness hovered at the edges of Sam's vision as he struggled. He was going to black out. 

Maybe this time Dean would kill him, he would die and it would be over.

It was then, as Sam wondered if this was it, that the door to the motel room burst open and two officers barged into the room.

"Freeze!"

Their voices seemed to come from far away, until Dean jumped up off of him, air rushing back into Sam's lungs as he rolled in time to see Dean run to the motel balcony and jump.

The officers rushed to the balcony firing their guns after Dean.

"Stop," Sam gasped out, "please." he begged them, throat raw, voice hoarse.

Sam didn't know how the police had shown up, who had called them, likely the poor bastards next door to their room, hearing Dean yell and the sound of his punches and things breaking.

Sam's eyes slowly closed as he watched the officers at the balcony, heard them talking over their radios. 

Sam slowly slumped against the floor as he lost consciousness.

* * * 

[ 9: 30 AM - Next morning]

Sam sat on the side of his hospital bed, dressed once again in his clothes as he waited for Dean to come pick him up.

He hadn't slept the entire night before, and it wasn't due to the pain of his injuries. 

It was fear; plain and simple. Cold hard fear that Dean would show up and they would fight again, that this time it would be the end, that Dean would actually kill him, had Sam lying awake all night staring at the ceiling. 

The doctor had said that three of his ribs were cracked, he had a black eye as well as other cuts and bruises on his face, fingertip bruises marred the skin of his neck.

The police had tried to get him to press charges against Dean, but he had refused. 

How could he press charges against his own brother? His lover? The only person he had left in the world? He couldn't. It was that simple.

No matter how scared Sam was, no matter how much pain physically or emotionally he was ever in, Sam couldn't do that to his brother.

Dean was the best thing in Sam's life. The only thing.

Sam had over heard them, the doctors and policemen, call him a "tragedy". 

That had made Sam huff, a bitter smile pulling at his lips as he stared unseeingly at the floor of his room. 

He didn't know about that, it was just another day or night for him. It was the way things went. 

He shouldn't have questioned Dean, shouldn't have asked him where he had been, it was his own fault, he had asked for it. 

It wasn't like he didn't deserve it.

Pulling from the bed, Sam walked over to the door of his room, looking up and down the hall. 

He thought about going for a soda, but if Dean showed up and he wasn't in the room... No, he should just wait where he was. That was best. 

He didn't want to upset Dean again. It was bad enough that he had needed to call Dean to ask him to pick him up. 

Horrible that Dean had needed to stay the night in the Impala and not their motel room. Sam knew he was going to probably pay for that too.

Sam fought to ease the butterflies in his chest as he paced around in his room, worrying his bottom lip.

It was another two hours before Sam heard the footsteps, those footfalls that he knew so well, had listened for in the dead of night when Dean hadn't come back to the motel and Sam had waited up, only to pretend to be asleep when Dean drug himself in just before dawn.

And then Sam had pretended to believe every lie when Dean would tell him he had been there all night the next day.

Sam's heart raced with fear as Dean's steps drew closer. 

He fought not to cower or cringe as he heard Dean stop at the door, forced himself to remain standing tall, looking out the window.

"How many stitches this time?" Dean asked him from the doorway.

Sam turned, jaw set as he shook his head, "None."

Dean nodded, as he jutted his chin toward the door for Sam to walk through it so they could leave. 

"Pussy," Dean mumbled under his breath, glaring at Sam as he walked past.

Sam heard Dean as he walked by, but he didn't stop, didn't say anything, didn't act as though he had heard him, he just kept on walking, as Dean followed behind him.

* * *

The drive from the hospital was nothing, if not quiet and awkward, Sam not wanting to say the wrong thing and Dean seeming to ignore him completely as he cranked up the radio, Ozzy blaring from the speakers.

Bobby's place was another half day away, it was where they had been heading to begin with, before the fight last night, before Dean had once again disappeared for the most of the night after having promised Sam that he would 'be right back'. 

Sam should have known better, but he had believed him. 

Had wanted to believe that Dean was coming right back.

When Sam had been found sitting at the table, asleep in the chair slumped against his laptop, it had all be because he had sat there thinking, hoping, believing, that any minute, Dean was going to walk in the door with food and a smile, telling Sam some funny story or another about what had kept him.

That however, was _not_ how it had happened. 

Instead, Dean had come back pissed to see that Sam had been waiting up and the fighting had started.

Started because it wasn't any of Sam's business where Dean went and yet he had asked, already knowing the answer, knowing because he could smell the perfume, see the lipstick smudges on Dean's shirt collar. 

Dean had yelled at him for his accusatory tone.

Sam wasn't accusing, he knew, he'd just wanted to hear Dean finally admit it.

Problem number one, Sam should have known better than to push. Known better than to confront Dean.

And then he had taken it a step further and had actually asked Dean how he would feel if it were him fucking someone else.

Problem number two, never make Dean jealous, never.

To say that Dean was possessive was an understatement.

Where Dean flirted and made out with anyone he wished, flaunted it in fact in front of Sam, if Sam even so much as talked to someone else too long, or smiled at them, there would be hell to pay.

Yeah, last night had been all Sam's fault, he knew that.

*

The sun was setting as they pulled into Bobby's salvage yard and parked the Impala.

Dean hadn't said two words to him the whole way there, and Sam had done his best to remain quiet, as invisible as he possibly could be, staring out his side window.

It was better this way.

Sam glanced over as Dean turned off the car and reached for his door handle, opening the door.

Dean looked over at Sam, letting his gaze roam over him. "Come on, Sam," he told him, voice soft.

Sam reached for his door handle, jaw clenched, ready for Dean to start yelling at any minute about how they would have been here earlier if he hadn't had to pick him up at the hospital.

Sam unfolded his tall frame from the car, closing the door after himself, head hanging.

Instead of the shouting he was expecting, Dean came over to him, reaching for his hand.

Dean laced their fingers together as he pulled Sam up against him, green eyes locking on slightly slanted hazel.

"Let's go for a walk, Sammy," Dean suggested, eyes searching Sam's face lovingly.

Sam pressed his lips together as he nodded, hanging his head again as he allowed Dean to pull him off onto one of the paths that lead away from Bobby's property.

As they walked Dean pulled Sam up next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and walking slowly with him.

"You smell good," Dean murmured softly.

Sam gave a small smile, head still hanging, "Just soap," he mumbled.

Dean didn't like Sam to wear colognes, said that Sam didn't need to flash his shit like a whore that way. However Dean always wore Hugo Boss.

Smiling softly, Dean allowed his hand to slip down and into Sam's back pocket as he cupped his brother's ass, "It works on you," he admitted. 

Sam again gave a small smile as he nodded, "Thanks."

Dean looked over at Sam and quirked a brow, pulling them both to a stop.

At the sudden stopping, Sam looked into his brother's face and saw the quirked brow, the way he was looking him over and Sam's lips parted as his mind raced.

No, no. no. What had he done now?

"Uh, I mean, thank you," Sam obediently responded with a slight smile curving the corners of his lips as he leaned in and brushed them across Dean's cheek.

Dean's free hand rose, to the side of Sam's face, thumb under his chin, holding his head steady that way as Dean searched his brother's face.

Dean closed his eyes as a soft sigh escaped him as he leaned in until his lips brushed against Sam's jaw line. "You know I didn't mean it, baby," he murmured tenderly.

Sam closed his eyes, drawing in shuddering breath.

He wanted so badly to believe that. So badly.

Dean pulled his head back, looking into Sam's face. "You just," Dean huffed and shook his head, "it's like you don't trust me, and then," Dean's gaze hardened, "what you asked me," the muscle in Dean's jaw twitched as blazing jade eyes bore into slightly slanted hazel.

"If anyone else ever touched you, Sammy, you know I'd kill 'em." Dean told him, his voice soft but deadly.

Sam gave a small nod, muscle in his own jaw twitching as he looked down. "I know." he answered softly.

Leaning in, Dean slanted his mouth over Sam's, kissing him slowly, gently at first then with more passion as his hands moved, one pulling from Sam's hand to slip up under the hem of his tee, the other, squeezing Sam's ass as he pulled him closer.

As Dean's hand under his tee started to wonder upward, Sam jerked a small sound of protest sounding against Dean's lips.

Tearing his lips away from Sam's, both of them slightly breathless, Dean frowned, "What's the matter?"

Sam bit his lip and shook his head, "Nothin', I-" he clamped his mouth closed, not wanting Dean to yell at him for being weak, for saying anything.

"What?" Dean asked him, starting to lift Sam's tee, examining Sam's flesh as he did.

Starting at Sam's bottom rib, dark purple bruises marred his flesh, the marks going upward across another four inches of his torso.

Dean looked up at Sam, gazes locking as Dean clenched his jaw, "Who? - Did I-?" Dean asked him, unable or unwilling to finish the questions.

Sam nodded slightly, as he bit his lip, "Yeah, it's - it's nothin'. Don't worry about it," Sam assured as he worried his lip.

Dean sighed as he wrapped his arms gently around Sam, "Baby, I'm so sorry," he murmured gently, leaning in to kiss his bruised throat. He pulled back pulled back to look at the damage and sighed heavily as he shook his head and lifted his gaze to his brother. “For these too," he added softly. 

Sam nodded, "I know," he answered timidly, his voice soft and head hanging.

"I wanna fuck you," Dean announced with a wide lascivious a grin spreading over his face.

Sam made a slight face. He hated it when Dean called it that.

"Out here?" Sam asked him, looking around them.

Dean leaned in, licking a path up the side of Sam's neck, "Yeah, out here, I wanna feel your tight ass around my dick."

Sam frowned and swallowed hard. Did he have to put it like that?

"Um, okay," Sam agreed as he shifted his weight, feeling self conscious and unsure, his gaze darting about the area.

What if Bobby suddenly walked up? 

They weren't even where there was soft grass, but dirt and gravel and shrubs, weeds. Where were they gonna...?

Dean started backing Sam up into the bushes, as he kissed his throat, his jaw, ran his hands over Sam's body.

"Make me so fuckin' hot, Sammy," Dean murmured against the skin of Sam's neck as he pulled them both down in a small area of trampled vines.

Dean pushed Sam down onto the ground, moving to lay on top of him, slanting his mouth over Sam's and kissing him hard, tongue tangling with Sam's, as he moved his head from side to side almost roughly.

Fingertips dug into Sam's skin as Dean pulled and tugged on his tee, lifting it up so Dean could run his hands over bared flesh.

Pulling his lips from Sam's Dean bit Sam's bottom lip, pulling back on it before letting go, passion glazed jade eyes gazing down at him.

Dean grinned slightly as he looked at Sam, moving to sit up on him, straddling his hips, “God you have a hot fucking mouth, love the way it feels wrapped around my dick, your lips all swollen." 

Dean chuckled, "Maybe I should just pop you in the mouth once a day to keep them swollen like that."

Sam didn't laugh.

"Aww, come on," Dean murmured huskily as his hands went to the button and fly of Sam's jeans while he leaned down to nip at Sam's lips, "you know I'm just teasin' ya."

Dean got Sam's jeans unfastened and tugged then and his boxers down to his thighs, then started with the fastenings of his own jeans.

Sam winced as the vines dug into the tender flesh of his lower back, but remained silent as he watched Dean unfasten his jeans and pull his already hard cock out.

"Touch me, Sammy," Dean directed. 

Sam did as Dean told him, reaching up to wrap a hand around Dean's shaft, pumping him slowly as he cupped his balls with his other hand.

After a minute Sam pulled his hand away from Dean's balls and sat partway up, using that hand to balance himself, palm flat against the ground behind him, Sam leaned down, taking the tip of Dean's cock into his mouth.

Dean's body jerked slightly at the contact, a low moan tearing from his throat as his eyes closed, head falling back as one hand rose to tangle in Sam's hair.

"Such a beautiful fuckin' mouth," Dean mumbled softly.

Dean thrust his hips upward, his cock into Sam's mouth a few times before he was lifting his head.

Pulling Sam's hair, he pulled his head away.

"Enough, Sammy. enough," Dean told him softly, "I want that ass. Roll over." 

Dean moved back on his knees so Sam could roll over.

Wrapping an arm around Sam's waist, Dean pulled his ass upward as he ran a hand over Sam's ass cheek.

"So fucking hot, Sammy," Dean rasped softly.

Bringing two of his own fingers up to his mouth, Dean sucked on them, getting them as spit slick as he could, before pulling them out and reaching down, running his fingertips over Sam's tight hole.

"Hold still, baby boy," he directed softly.

Sam bit his lip, squeezing his eyes closed as he waited for the burn.

Dean shoved his fingers into Sam's tight ass, scissoring them mercilessly.

Sam gasped, head falling back as he grit his teeth, fingertips digging at the ground.

After a few moments, the burn died away as it always did and Sam relaxed a little, just before Dean pulled his fingers out and lined up the blunt end of his cock with Sam's hole. 

Dean thrust into him balls deep with one single move.

Sam gasped audibly a low groan tearing from his throat as he grit his teeth.

"Ya like that, baby?" Dean asked him, chuckling softly.

Sam didn't answer as he tried to get use to the burn, the feeling of being stretched, of being so full.

"My horny little slut," Dean mumbled, as he started to thrust into Sam.

Dean continued to slam into Sam and thankfully, after a while, the burn and other uncomfortable feelings gave way to pleasurable ones.

Sam gasped and thrust back against Dean's cock as he raised one hand off the ground to pump his own cock, low moans breaking from his throat.

"That's it, baby. Yeah, oh you're so fuckin' tight, Sammy. So fuckin' hot." Dean encouraged, as he pounded into him, fingertips digging into the flesh of Sam's hips.

Dean's thrusts grew erratic and harder, his moans gave way to near grunts as he pounded harder into Sam.

"Oh fuck!" Dean groaned, head falling back, lips parted as he came hard and hot, filling Sam's ass.

Dean pulled his cock out of Sam's ass, smacking it soundly before he pulled to his feet and tucked himself back into his jeans, righting his clothes.

Sam's hand on his own cock stilled as he looked back over his shoulder at Dean.

"Get up!" Dean told him, before he shook his head rolling his eyes.

"I don't have all day to fuck you, Sam. I'm done, get up." Dean told him.

Sam sat back on his heels, glancing down at his own erection before he silently, though a bit unsteadily pulled to his feet and pulled his boxers and jeans back up, head hanging.

"Aww, what's the matter, you pissy that you didn't get your rocks off, baby boy?" Dean teased him as he hooked a hand around Sam Sam's neck, chuckling softly.

"Guess you need to be faster, huh?" Dean winked at him, before pulling his hand away and turning to walk back toward Bobby's, his hands shoved in the front pockets of his jeans, whistling as he walked.

Sam didn't respond, didn't say anything at all, as he hung his head and followed Dean like he knew he was suppose to.

Sam frowned as his cell rang, making him pause as he fished it out of his pocket.

Dean stopped with him, quirking a brow at his brother, "If that's Bobby, tell him we're on our way back there now."

Sam nodded as he answered the cell, "Hello?"

Adam Verona smiled as Sam answered the phone. 

Sitting back in his desk chair, Adam propped his feet up on his desk, "Hello, Sam, this is Agent Verona; we met earlier at the hospital. I was the blond guy that Hendrickson kept giving dirty looks to," he chuckled.

Sam smiled into the phone, "I remember."

Adam's smile fell away as he thought about all the cuts and bruises on Sam's handsome face, "So, how are you?"

Sam nodded as he glanced toward Dean, "I'm - I'm okay."

Dean took a step toward Sam, brow furrowed, "Who is that, Sam?" Dean asked him.

"So, I was looking through my reports before I went home for the night and this name, Sam Winchester caught my eye and I just wanted to make sure," Adam paused running a hand through his blond mop of hair, "Well, I wanted to be sure you were okay."

Sam pressed his lips together as he looked toward Dean who started to glare at him, "Yeah, I am," he responded.

Adam smiled softly and nodded, "Good, I'm glad to hear it, Sam. I was worried about you," he cleared his throat, "We all were." he added, rolling his eyes at himself.

Dean swore under his breath between his teeth as he turned and started marching angrily back toward Sam.

Sam's eyes widened.

"I - I gotta go!" he said hastily into the phone, before quickly hanging up.

"Okay, I -" Adam started to say, but the receiver went dead. 

Slowly he pulled the phone away from his ear and turned his head to stare at it as though it were a deadly snake. 

"Who the _fuck_ was that, Sam!?" Dean demanded, snatching the cell out of his hands.

"No one," Sam insisted, his heart hammering in his chest.

"No one?" Dean echoed incredulously. “Since when do you smile like that at _'no one'_?" he demanded as he scrolled through the phone and hit call back.

Adam answered the phone on the second ring, "Well, hello there, decide to talk a while longer?" 

"Who. the. _fuck_. is this!?" Dean growled into the phone.

Adam pulled his feet off his desk, body jerking forward in his chair as his feet fell to the floor, lips parted in shock. "Uh, this is Agent Verona, and you are?" Adam asked in his best 'agent voice'.

Dean hung up the cell, face twisted into a sneer as he pulled back a fist, punching Sam in the face.

* * *

Sam staggered backward, hand going to his face, to cover his now bleeding nose.

"Who is he!?" Dean growled. "is he who you were thinkin' about when I fucked you? Huh? Is it his dick you want in your ass, you fuckin' little slut!?" Dean screamed at him, jade eyes blazing.

Sam shook his head as he held up one hand protectively, the other still at his bleeding nose.

"No, Dean, no! I don't know who he was, just - just some cop, I swear!" Sam stammered.

"Don't fuckin' lie to me!" Dean yelled at Sam as he reached up, grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking his head back.

"I'm not! I swear, Dean! I'm not lying!" Sam told him, eyes wide and fearful, eyes blinking against the pain of how hard Dean was pulling his hair.

"I could cut your fuckin' throat," Dean hissed, voice soft and deadly, "I could slice it right fucking open and no one, Sam, no one would give a goddamn."

Tears stung Sam's eyes as he tried to nod, "I - I know." he answered softly.

"How?" Dean asked between clenched teeth as he tightened his grip in Sam's hair, "If you don't know him, how did he get your number, Sam?"

Sam licked his lips, winced as pain shot through his scalp. "I - I gave it to the police at the hospital."

"You WHAT!?" Dean asked him, his hand moving from Sam's hair to his throat, squeezing, as he narrowed his eyes.

"Obviously I'm not hearing so good today, I could have sworn you said you GAVE it to a fucking cop!"

Sam swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing roughly under the pressure of Dean's hand, "Y - yeah, I did I wasn't thinking -"

Dean released Sam's throat with a shove, then smacked him up side the head, "No, you weren't thinking!" Dean agreed, "How fuckin' stupid are you, Sam!?" Dean asked him.

Sam shook his head, tears starting to fall, "I - I don't know..."

"You don't know... you know they can track you, Sam? GPS, ever heard of it? Any of this shit gettin' through that big ass melon of yours, dumbass!?"

"I said I was sorry! They wanted a number!" Sam nearly yelled back, then realized what he'd done and bit his lip.

Dean glared at him in silence.

Sam waited for the punch that never came as Dean turned and started walking away from him.

Sam watched his brother walk away, frowning in confusion.

That was it?

He should be thankful, but something just didn't feel right.

Sam hurried after Dean, "Dean, wait, don't be mad, I - we can get a new phone, I can junk this one and -"

Dean stopped and turned angry eyes boring holes into Sam's hazels.

Dean nodded, "Sure., Sam, we can just get you another phone with money we don't have and then the next time you get your ass carted off to the hospital and do something stupid like give out your number? Then what, huh? We get another new phone with more money we don't have?"

Sam looked down at the ground, shifted his weight, muscle twitching in his jaw.

"You know, I put up with having you around because I know that's what our mother and father would want," Dean told him, making Sam look up at him, lips parting, but no words left Sam's lips.

Dean frowned hard at Sam, "You remember them, right? The two people that you killed,. Sam. Mom when she went to your crib, and dad, well, that was due to your old pal comin' ta play 'Let's Make a Deal'. You remember that??" Dean scoffed and shook his head, "Oh and let's not forget about sweet Jessica," Dean chuckled, "You're a piece of work, Sam and I get saddled with your stupid ass. Me! What the fuck did I do wrong!? Huh?" 

Sam hung his head, shaking it, "Nothing." he answered softly.

Dean huffed, "And yet here I am with you, and now, you're givin' our your damn number to cops, what is it Sam, you want them to catch me? Huh? Arrest me? Then your fuckin' ass would be alone." Dean glared, as he nodded, "Who would you have to love you then, Sam? Who are you gonna have get close to you only to kill once I'm gone?" 

Sam turned and started walking back toward Bobby's blinking back tears as he walked.

No one.

* * *

[Two Nights later, back on the road.]

They were heading for the Roadhouse, Bobby had told them that Ellen might have some information for them on a hunt.

It was late, not having left Bobby's until after dinner, having Bobby insist on feeding them before they left.

The fact that he had only given both Sam and Dean Root Beer to drink with their suppers hadn't made Dean very happy, but he'd only chuckled, scoffing at the elder hunter.

However, it was most likely the reason that they were now pulling into a bar when they easily could have made Ellen's before the night was out if they hadn't.

They also could have gotten a drink at the Roadhouse.

Knots formed in Sam's stomach, knowing that a drink wasn't the only reason Dean had pulled into the bar parking lot and parked the car.

As Dean opened his door, Sam slowly looked over at him, lips pressed together in a tight firm line.

"Don't give me that look, Sam." Dean muttered, slamming the car door and walking toward the entrance of the bar, not waiting for Sam.

With a sigh, Sam opened his door and got out. 

Closing the door behind him, he hurried to the door with Dean, walking in with him.

Dean looked around the crowded bar as they entered, a smile pulling at his lips as he spotted a blond and a red head at the bar he wouldn't mind getting to know.

"Make yourself scarce and stay out of trouble." Dean muttered to Sam, slapping him with the back of his hand in the stomach as he passed by.

Sam gave a soft groan, stomach muscles tensing, as he lifted a hand to his stomach, nodding to Dean.

Sam walked over to a booth in the corner of the room where it was dark and he likely wouldn't be seen and sat down, arms on the table top, hands clasped together in front of him, head hanging slightly, eyes on his hands.

He knew the trouble he would get into if someone talked to him for too long, if he was seen or talked about by someone.

Sam tried to make himself as invisible as possible, even when the waitress came by to ask if he wanted something to drink, Sam only mumbled out his answer, "water," he cleared his throat, "please." he added, glancing toward her, making sure not to make eye contact.

Once she had walked away, Sam allowed himself to glance toward the bar in time to see Dean lowering his head to kiss the blond while the redhead rubbed up against him.

Sam quickly looked away, muscle twitching in his jaw, hands clenching into tight fists on the table top.

It was bad enough to know it, to smell women's perfume on Dean, other men's cologne, but to see it happening right in front of him, that was something he hadn't thought even Dean would put him through.

He was so busy trying not to notice, to block it out and force himself not to look, it was why he hadn't noticed when the waitress returned with this water,m and it was why he hadn't seen her walk up to him.

Sam hadn't even realized someone was standing there beside him until he felt the finger at his ear, circle around the shell. 

"Hey, handsome, you look deep in thought. Mind if I join you?" she asked him.

Sam jerked away from her touch as if she had burned him, it would probably be better if she had.

His attention snapped over to her, he turned his head so fast she nearly jumped backward, but instead only chuckled.

"You're a jumpy one," she remarked, moving to slid into the booth across from him, smile planted on her pretty face.

Sam looked at her as though she had just murdered the pope as she sat down.

"Shy," she nodded, "I like that."

She was a pretty girl, long dark hair, dark brown eyes, full lips that were still curved in a friendly smile.

Sam swallowed, glancing toward the bar, to look at Dean, but he seemed to still be talking and touching the blond and redhead.

Returning his gaze to the girl across from him, Sam leaned forward, "Please," he said softly, and shook his head, "you have to go."

The girl's eyes widened slightly before she chuckled, "Go? Baby, I just got here."

Sam let out a breath, glancing again at Dean, before looking back at her, "No, seriously, I need you to leave, please. I'm - I'm with someone."

The girl looked at him a moment, her smile slowly falling away, "Well, I don't see anyone, but if you aren't interested, fine." she told him, and slid from the booth.

Sam sighed and hung his head. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings, didn't mean to make her feel bad, hated that it was him who made her smile disappear, but he had to get rid of her before Dean noticed her there. Before the problems started.

The ringing of his cell drew Sam's attention from his dark thoughts as he reached for it, hitting the talk button.

"Hello?" Sam answered.

Adam smiled hearing Sam's voice again as he walked through the police station toward his office.

"Hello there, how are you?" Adam responded, smile in his voice, matching the wide one that curved his lips as he walked.

Sam swallowed and glanced toward the bar, "Uh, I'm - I'm okay."

Adam tossed papers down on Hendrickson's desk as he passed him, pointing his finger at him, then at the papers. 

Hendrickson sighed and rolled his eyes at Adam, reaching for the papers, a not so pleased look on his face, which made Adam chuckle silently.

Adam nodded into the phone as he continued into his office, closing the door behind him, "Good to hear it, Sam."

Sam frowned slightly, uncomfortably as he bit his lip. "I, um, I really can't talk."

Adam took a seat at his desk, "Why is that? Did I catch you in the middle of something?"

Sam sighed as he looked around, "No, not really, but it's better for me if I just don't -"

"It's that bastard again, isn't it?" Adam interrupted, smile falling away as he sat forward in his chair, "Sam, all you gotta do is press charges, man and we can get that sonofabitch for what he did to you. I mean, sure it's just battery, but, you could get a restraining order -"

"No!" Sam nearly yelled into the phone, before he realized how loud he's spoken and lowered his voice, "No, Agent Verona, I don't want to do that, I can't do that, you don't understand -"

Adam sighed and sat back in his chair, "Yeah, Sam, I do understand. Beaten Wives Syndrome," he smiled slightly, "Not that I'm callin' you a wife." he chuckled, "And hey, it's Adam, none of this Agent Verona, crap. Ya got it?"

Sam smiled and nodded, "Yeah, okay, I just," he sighed softly, "I don't want to talk about that."

Adam nodded, as he sat forward, looking up at the Nerf basketball hoop he had hanging from the closet door of his office, grabbing the soft spongy Nerf ball off his desk as he did. 

"Alright, what would you like to talk about?" Adam asked him.

Sam frowned, brow creasing, "Uh, I - I dunno."

Adam chuckled softly as he tossed the ball into the basket, scoring a point.

"Well, what are you up to?" Adam asked him.

"Now?" Sam asked, glancing around again, a look of bewilderment on his face, "sitting in a bar."

Adam smiled, "Oh really? You aren't planning to drink and drive are you? I'd hate to have to arrest you already, it would kinda put a damper on this great friendship we're starting here."

Sam actually chuckled, "No, no need to worry about that. I'm -" he reached for his glass of water, "I'm having water."

Adam smiled, as he sat back in his chair, squeezing the Nerf ball, "I like the sound of your laughter, Sam. I bet you have a wonderful smile."

Sam smiled wide, dimples showing a soft pink blush staining his cheeks, "Are - are you flirting with me, Agent, uh, I mean Adam?"

Adam smiled as he tossed the ball at the hoop again, scoring another point.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Adam told him, "Is that alright with you, Sam? That I'm flirting with you?"

Sam opened his mouth to answer, only to close it again, the blush on his cheeks deepening into a darker shade of crimson, "Yeah, I - I guess so." he finally managed to answer softly.

Adam smiled, as he let out the breath he'd been holding, "Good, then there's nothing to worry about."

Sam glanced up, just in time to see Dean angrily heading toward him.

Sam's eyes widened as his stomach twisted into knots, his heart hammering in his chest.

"So, Sam, what do you like to do for fun?" Adam asked, smile still firmly planted on his face.

"I - I have to go!" Sam blurted into the phone.

Adam sat forward in his chair, brow furrowed, "Sam? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I - I just have to go! I- I'm sorry, please don't call me anymore." Sam stammered, quickly ending the call.

Dean grabbed Sam under the arm as he reached him, "Now, Sam," he growled, nearly dragging him out of the booth.

Sam glanced at the two women at the bar who were pouting as they watched Dean walk him out.

_Oh no, oh God no, Dean had seen him.…_

Dean shoved Sam toward his side of the car without a word, going around to his own and opening the door.

Sliding behind the wheel, Dean started the car.

Sam had barely gotten in when Dean started to back the car out of the lot.

Dean didn't say a word as he drove them to a nearby motel and got them a room and Sam wasn't dumb enough to start the conversation, only kept his head bowed, as he worried his bottom lip, hands clasped in his lap.

Once they were inside the room, Dean locked the door and slid off his leather, still not speaking to Sam or looking at him, tension crackled in the air around them and Sam's stomach twisted into tighter knots.

Dean walked up to him, reaching into the pocket of Sam's jacket and pulled out his cell, tossing it onto the table as he glared daggers at Sam.

That was when Dean started to pace the small area between the table and bathroom door, hands clenching and unclenching into fists at his sides, face twisted into a mask of anger.

"Dean, I -" Sam croaked out the words, whisper soft as he watched his brother pace.

Dean stopped and turned, "You what, Sam!? You're just that much of a fucking whore? Huh? You just _had to_ sit there in the middle of all those people and flirt on the phone with your goddamn cop!?" 

Dean nodded, jaw set, "It was him again, wasn't it? That fuckin' cop of yours!"

Sam shook his head, eyes sad, begging for Dean to understand, to let him explain.

Dean pulled back a fist and let it fly, punching Sam as hard as he could in the face.

Sam stumbled backward, his legs hitting the bed causing him to fall back on it.

Dean was on him in an instant, straddling Sam's hips as he tore at Sam's shirts and jacket. 

Dean managed to wrangle Sam out of his over shirt and jacket as he lay there, gulping in air, head turned to the side, nose bleeding down his face and into his mouth.

"You want him so bad, Sam? Huh? Your dick hard for him?" Dean asked, as he reached down and squeezed Sam hard through his jeans.

Sam cried out, eyes wide as pain shot through his groin.

"No! No, Dean, no." Sam told him, head rolling as he squeezed his eyes closed.

Dean's face twisted into a sneer, as he tore at the button and fly of Sam's jeans, lifting up enough to yank them down to his thighs.

"Lair!" Dean ground out, "You fucking were gonna cum to him at Bobby's weren't ya? You thinkin' about him now, Sam?" Dean asked as he pumped his brother's flaccid cock hard in a bruising grip.

Sam pounded his fists on Dean's chest, struggling to get away, "No! No, I didn't! I'm not! Dean, please!...."

Dean unfastened his own jeans, pulling his cock out and stroked himself a few times before lining himself up with Sam's tight hole and slamming into him.

Sam screamed, neck arched back as he fought harder to get away from Dean, but Dean was angry, livid and that made him stronger than Sam who was crushed, heartbroken.

Dean rolled Sam onto his side facing away from him, as he thrust into him, "Say his name, Sam," Dean growled low in his ear.

Sam shook his head as he bit his lip., "No, Dean, please..."

Dean reached around and grabbed Sam's cock, twisting it cruelly. "Say it, or I swear to GOD, I will rip your goddamn dick off!"

Sam gasped, tears stinging his wide eyes, "A-Adam," he stammered fearfully, his voice soft as his tears began to fall.

Dean twisted his hand., "Say it again, louder, I wanna hear you scream that cock suckers name!"

Sam reached down to get Dean's hand off his abused dick, but Dean only released him long enough to move Sam's arm, bringing it backward between their bodies and up, causing pain to Sam's shoulder joint.

Dean held Sam's arm in place there with his opposite hand as he reached down, grabbing Sam's cock again, all the while he continued to slam hard into Sam's dry ass.

Sam wept, head rolling on the bed, as he hid his face against the mattress, "No, please, don't..."

Dean reached down farther, grabbing one of Sam's balls along with his cock, turning and squeezing cruelly.

"Say it, you fuckin' whore!" Dean yelled at him.

Sam coughed, gagged, gasped and choked, as his body jerked against the pain. "A - ADAM!" Sam screamed the name.

Dean came hard in Sam's ass with a low groan before releasing him and pulling out with a shove.

Sam pulled his legs up, both hands going to his crotch to cup his abused flesh, eyes squeezed closed as he cried.

"Now," Dean began, voice calmer as he stood beside the bed, righting his clothes, his eyes on his brother, "that was the first and last time you've ever screamed his name while being fucked. It should be out of your system now," he hissed venomously. 

Dean walked around the bed, stretching as he moved.

Glancing back at Sam who still lay there as he was, Dean shook his head and raised a leg, shoving Sam with a booted foot.

"Get the hell up and take a shower, you stink like a fuckin' whore," Dean spat disgustedly. 

Slowly Sam opened his eyes, sniffling as he looked at Dean who had turned around to face the table, unzipping one of the duffels.

Moving slow, Sam pulled off the bed, his cock and ball still ached like a sonofabitch, his ass was bleeding, but he knew he had to listen, do as he was told. 

Pulling his jeans and boxers up, Sam walked into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind him.

Starting the water, Sam stripped off his clothes, refusing to look at himself in the mirror, if he looked, if he saw his own reflection, he wasn't sure if he would be able to keep down the food that was already threatening to make a reappearance.

Under the warm spray of the shower, Sam leaned a hand against the tiled wall, head bowed and silently cried, shoulders shaking with his sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> This Fanfiction was written for the ’s “Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester” Challenge. (Which I won due to this fiction. ♥.)

The next morning after they checked out of the hotel, Dean stopped to fill the Impala up with gas and Sam went in to pay.

A small bouquet of flowers. three red roses and baby's breath sitting next to the register caught Sam's eye and he grabbed it, paying for it along with the gas.

Maybe it would help to smooth things over with Dean.

When Sam walked out, bouquet in hand, Dean was already in the car waiting for him.

Sam silently got into the car, closing the door after himself and turned to face Dean, holding the small bouquet out to him.

"I - I got these for you, babe." Sam told him softly, as he worried his bottom lip.

Dean looked over at Sam, then down to the flowers, taking them from Sam with a sigh.

"So now you think I've got a damn pussy?" Dean asked him, tossing the bouquet into the back seat of the car, before reaching down to turn the key in the ignition.

"The only pussy in this car, Sam, is you." Dean grumbled and reached to flick on the radio.

Sam bit his lip hard, his heart aching, a sob chocking him that he swallowed down as he turned his head, looking out his side window, tears stinging his eyes.

He was not going to cry.

Dean pulled the car out onto the road, shaking his head, face set in grim lines.

The rest of the ride to Ellen's was passed in silence save for the blaring of the radio.

Tire's crunched on gravel as Dean pulled the Impala into the Roadhouse parking lot and parked, turning off the engine.

Looking over at his brother who had kept his head turned the entire forty-five minute drive, Dean sighed and reached back into the backseat, picking up the bouquet of flowers.

Bringing the flowers to his nose, Dean breathed in their heady scent.

"They're nice, Sam," he cleared his throat, "the flowers, they're nice."

Sam didn't turn his head, only continued to look out the window, muscle twitching in his jaw.

Dean brought the hand of his arm that was hooked on the seat back over to the flowers, fingering a petal.

"The petals are almost as soft as your lips, baby." Dean told him softly.

Sam sniffled softly, turning his head just a little as he looked back at Dean.

"I - I just thought you might like them," he shrugged a shoulder, "didn't want to fight with you anymore, so I got you a gift."

Dean nodded as he sighed heavily, tucking the bouquet up on the dashboard.

"Sammy, you gotta gimme a break here," Dean said as he shook his head, "I've never gotten flowers before," he shrugged a shoulder, "kind of a chick thing, ya know?"

Sam turned to look at him as he shook his own head, "No," he said softly, "not a chick thing. A love thing."

Dean's brows rose as he tilted his head in a 'maybe' gesture, before sliding closer to Sam on the seat, reaching out to take one of Sam's hands in his. 

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I love them, really. I do." Dean told him softly as he leaned in, pressing his lips to the corner of Sam's mouth as Sam drew in a shaky breath, lips parted.

Dean drew back, cupping Sam's face, "You forgive me, baby?" he asked him softly, jade eyes searching his face.

Sam nodded slightly, "Yeah," he sniffled.

Dean smiled at him, leaned in and kissed the tears from Sam's eyes.

"Don't cry, Sammy. You know how I hate to see you cry. We can't go in there with you all tear streaked, you'll worry Ellen." Dean eyed him, jade gazing into hazel.

"You don't want to upset Ellen for nothing do you?" Dean asked him softly.

Sam shook his head, "No." he answered softly.

"No," Dean agreed before his smile fell away, and he shook his head slowly, "Love you so damn much,. Sammy." Dean whispered.

Sam hung his head, nodding.

Dean leaned in, pulling Sam's head up and crushed his lips to Sam's, kissing him hard.

Pulling back, Dean looked at his brother, lids passion heavy. 

"Turn me on so much, Sam," Dean sucked in a breath through his teeth, "love you so much," he ran his hand over Sam's chest, his side.

"No one else can do this to me, Sammy, only you." Dean told him softly.

Sam didn't answer, he wasn't so sure about that.

Dean shook his head, "The idea of you with someone else, Sammy," Dean's hand cupping Sam's face slid back to his hair, griping a handful tightly as he grit his teeth, "someone else touching you,"

Sam grimace, "No- no one else, Dean." Sam insisted.

Dean nodded, "That's good, Sammy, cause you know I'd kill you, right? I'd slit your fuckin' throat while you slept if you ever cheated on me, left me."

Sam nodded as much as he could with Dean's tight grip on his hair, "I - I know." he answered softly.

Dean smiled at him, "Good boy." he told him, before releasing Sam all at once and sliding away, hand going to the handle of his door, "Come on, Sammy, let's go in." Dean told him, as he opened his door.

Sam reached down with a trembling hand and opened his car door, getting out and closing it behind him.

Ellen turned as Sam and Dean walked into the Roadhouse.

They weren't open for business yet, so there was no one else around, just Ellen and Jo.

Ellen smiled at the both of them, "Well, hello, boys!' she nodded toward the stools in front of the bar, "pull up a seat and rest yourselves."

Dean flashed her and Jo a charming smile, one that would melt butter, as he made his way over to the bar. Nodding to them both, "Ellen, Jo."

Sam smiled slightly, head hanging slightly as he walked over.

"Hi, Ellen. Hi, Jo." Sam greeted, voice quiet.

Looking at Jo, Ellen nodded, "Get these fellas some beers."

Ellen turned her attention to Sam and Dean as she wiped at the already immaculately clean bar top.

"What can I do for you boys?" she asked looking from one to the other, her gaze staying on Sam's beaten face a fraction of a second longer than it did on Dean's before she looked down at the bar top she was scrubbing.

Dean stretched, nodding to Jo, as she brought him and Sam both bottles of beer and placed them down in front of them. 

A small flirtatious smile curved Dean's lips as he looked at Jo, before he tore his gaze away and looked back at Elle, clearing his throat.

"Bobby said you might be able to help us out." Dean told her.

Ellen looked from Dean to Sam and back, "You two just comin' from Bobby's place?" she asked them.

Both Sam and Dean nodded before Dean took a long pull from his beer, Sam sipping his.

Ellen sighed and tossed her rag down on the bar top, "I'd be glad to help ya, Dean," she turned her gaze to Sam, "if I can borrow your brother to help me get a crate down I can't seem to reach."

Dean started to get up, "I'll get it for ya, Ellen." Dean offered.

Ellen looked back at Dean and shook her head, "Nah, you stay here and drink yer beer before it gets warm, Sam's just sippin' his anyway. it's gonna be piss warm before he gets half of it down as it is."

Dean chuckled and sat back down, nodding. "You're probably right about that."

Sam pulled from his stool and walked around the bar to where Elle waited for him.

She lead him into the back, then into a small room that looked like a small office.

Sam looked around frowning, "Where's the-"

"SIT!" Ellen told him, pointing to a chair, interrupting his question.

Sam clamped his mouth closed, lips in a thin line, muscle in his jaw twitching as he stepped forward, going to the chair and took a seat.

Ellen turned back and closed the door they had walked through and locked it.

Turning around she looked at Sam, a hard look on her face as she shook her head and started to pace in front of him.

"I know that I'm a nosey bitch and a hard ass, but you know I love you boys like my own, Sam." she told him as she paced.

Sam nodded, shifting nervously in the chair, remaining silent as he watched her.

Ellen stopped pacing as she stood in front of him, her brown eyes searching his face, "What happened, Sam?" she asked him, her voice soft, filled with concern.

"What happened to your face?" She clarified.

Sam clenched his jaw, muscle twitching as he tore his gaze from hers, shrugging a shoulder.

Ellen moved, stepping forward and leaning down, hands on the arms of the chair he was sitting in, her face in his. "Sam, something happened and I ain't leavin' you alone until you tell me."

"Nothing," he told her softly, turning his head to look at her, Sam licked his lips and tore his gaze away again, "Demon," he shrugged, "I wasn't prepared and it got to me before Dean could exorcise it." he lied, unable to meet her gaze.

"Bullshit!" Ellen bit out, her voice louder. 

Ellen shifted her weight, her voice lower as she spoke again, "Sam, if there is one thing I know runnin' a hunter bar, it's bullshit when I hear it and that was the biggest load of it I've ever heard. Since when are you not prepared when you and Dean face a demon? Now," she asked him with a nod, "you wanna try again?"

Sam shook his head, tears stinging his eyes, "I can't." he told her softly, his gaze on the floor before him.

Ellen crouched in front of Sam, looking up into his face, "Sam, please tell me what it is, honey," she coaxed him softly, glancing toward the door, then looking back at Sam.

"Is it - is it Dean?" She asked him, hoping like hell she was wrong.

Sam drew in a ragged breath, his eyes lifting to meet her, shiny and tear filled, "He doesn't mean to do it." Sam told her softly.

Ellen swore softly under her breath, "I'm gonna fill him fulla buckshot!" she growled softly as she glared at the closed door.

Sam's eyes widened as he grabbed for Ellen's arm when she started to pull up, "No! Please don't!" Sam begged her, shaking his head, "he doesn't mean it, Ellen! Really!" Sam argued.

Ellen sighed heavily as she looked at Sam shaking her head, "Have you seen your face, baby? That's not an oops. That's him being a bastard."

Sam shook his head, "Ellen, please don't - don't call him that." Sam told her, hanging his head.

Ellen hung her own head a moment before looking back up at Sam, "You know I love you both as if you were my own sons, as far as I'm concerned you and Dean are two of the few things that John Winchester ever got right, but damn,. baby."

Sam huffed, shaking his head, "Dean was something mom and dad got right, not me." he told her softly.

Ellen lifted a hand to catch Sam's jaw and gently but firmly turn his head, forcing him to look at her.

Ellen shook her head, "I don't ever wanna hear you say that again, Samuel Winchester, you hear me?" she told him, "the only damn thing wrong with you is the fact that you haven't told Dean to take a hike by now, I mean it's not like you two have a relationship other than brothers, and as for huntin' with someone -"

Ellen's words died off as Sam sucked in a ragged breath, tried to turn his head away from her.

"Sammy?" she said his name slowly, carefully, "tell me that you two aren't..."

Sam choked back a sob.

Ellen pulled to her feet with a heavy sigh, "Sonofabitch!"

"For how long, Sam!? Did he force you!?" She asked him.

Sam's eyes widened as he shook his head, "No! No, it's not like that! Dean and I," he sniffled, "it was good... at first. It's been, since he came to get me at collage, on and off, but steady after Madison." he shrugged a shoulder, "he was there, made me feel better," he shook his head, staring off, "I didn't want to kill her, Ellen."

Ellen sighed as she leaned back against the wall, "Call the police, Sam."

Sam's eyes widened, "no! I could never! Dean's wanted, he -" Sam shook his head again, "No." he told her with finality, jaw set.

Ellen started to pace again, "Well, you can't leave with him, Sam. I won't have it."

Sam pulled to his feet, "No, Ellen please, Dean can't know that I told you. This - this is all my fault anyway. It's me that's wrong, that's messed up, not him. Please don't hate him, Ellen." Sam told her.

Ellen looked up at Sam, confusion and pity in her brown eyes, "It's not your fault, Sam. None of it is." she told him.

"I - I don't like it, but, you're a grown man. I can't stop you from leavin' with him, but if I see it, if I even think I see it, I will shoot his sorry ass. I won't kill him. Asshole or no, I love Dean, but I'll shoot him and make him damn sorry he ever laid a finger on you." Ellen told him stubbornly, with a nod.

Sam swallowed hard and nodded, "Thank you, Ellen." he told her, taking a step closer before drawing her into a hug. 

Ellen was slightly stunned at the show of affection, but it wasn't like she didn't welcome it. 

The poor boy needed all the outside love he could get right now anyway.

Pulling back after a moment, Ellen smiled softly up at him. "If you ever need anything., you know where the Roadhouse is," she gave a nod, "my door is always open to you."

Sam nodded to her, offering his own soft smile, "Thanks, Ellen."

*

It was raining when Sam and Dean left Ellen's that evening after she had fixed them some supper and headed back to Bobby's.

Reaching over, Dean turned down the music as he looked at Sam.

"You and Ellen sure were takin' a long time in the back earlier." Dean said, brow quirked.

Sam shrugged, "We were just talking."

"Better not of been talkin' about anything you shouldn't be." Dean told him, giving him a pointed look.

Sam opened his mouth only to clamp it shut again as he shook his head.

"I mean it, Sam. You fuck up my relationship with Ellen over you being a pussy and I will gut you." Dean told him, a deadly warning in his jade green eyes.

Sam looked back down at the book he had been reading with his flashlight as he nodded, jaw clenched muscle twitching."I didn't tell her anything, Dean." 

Dean nodded as he looked back out the windshield, "Good." he mumbled, reaching to turn up the radio again.

Sam sighed heavily as he closed his eyes for a second, thankful that Dean seemed to be dropping it.

Opening his eyes, Sam focused on the book before him again.

The rain poured down in buckets until Dean could barely make out the lines in the road anymore, forcing them to pull off at the first motel they came to.

Sam sighed as he looked out the side window, wondering what god loved Dean so much that it would put their motel directly across from a strip joint.

"Great," Sam sighed under his breath before returning his attention to the book he had in front of him.

Waiting in the car while Dean went and got them a room, Sam put the book away in his backpack and reached into the back seat for his laptop.

He had both items in hand and ready to go when Dean came back to drive them over to their room.

Parking before the door, Dean glanced at his brother, "Go head and go, Sammy, I'll get the duffels." 

Sam nodded, offering Dean a small smile before hurrying to open his door and get out of the car before it flooded from just opening the damn door.

Sam hunched his shoulder over as he ran through the icy rain to the motel room door, standing before it, teeth chattering with the cold as he waited for Dean to come over.

At least he was under the over hang.

Dean ran up to him, grinning like a fool and sopping wet, duffels in hand.

"Sorry," Dean told him, hurrying to get the wet key out of his pocket and slipping it in the lock. 

Opening the door for them, Dean stepped in behind Sam and set the duffels down then went to the bathroom to get towels.

Coming back, Dean walked over to Sam as soon as he set his backpack and laptop case down and started to gently dry him off.

"I gotcha, baby boy." Dean mumbled as he dried Sam's face and hands off, moved to peel his wet jacket from him and wrapped the towel around his shoulders.

Sam smiled at him, dimples showing.

This was the Dean he loved, the Dean he put up with the crap for. 

The loving Dean, the caring Dean.

The Dean that bandaged his cuts and scrapes, that dried rain water off of him so gently it was like he was made of glass. 

The Dean that fussed over him being wet, like rain water might hurt him or something.

Dean unzipped a duffel and pulled out some dry clothes, "Here, baby, put these on." 

Sam reached for the clothes, leaning in to brush his lips across Dean's as he did.

"Thank you," Sam told him softly.

Dean smiled at him, nodding.

Sam headed toward the bathroom, as Dean started for the door.

Sam stopped, turning as he heard the door knob turning and frowned.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked him.

Dean turned and looked back at Sam, "Strip joint, don't wait up."

Sam's face fell, all the joy he had felt for those few moments crushed under Dean's booted foot.

"Don't, Sam," Dean warned him, giving him a pointed look, "we were having a good night, don't fuck it up being a pansy ass." Dean told him before tugging open the door and walking out.

Sam hung his head as the door closed behind Dean, staring down at the clothes in his hand.

After a moment, Sam turned and walked over to the door, throwing the deadbolt.

Wiping rainwater from his face where it dripped from his long bangs, Sam headed back toward the bathroom, only to pause as his cell rang.

Reaching for his jacket, Sam pulled his cell out.

"Dean?" Sam asked as he answered it.

Adam's face fell a little hearing Sam ask for 'Dean' as he answered.

"Uh, no, it's me, Adam." 

There was a long pause as Sam moved to look out the window, watching as the Impala pulled away.

"Look, I know you said not to call you again, Sam, but," Adam sighed, "I was worried about you, I didn't like the way you ended the call last time. I waited a few days, so..."

Sam shook his head as he turned around, "No, no, it's fine, he - he left."

Adam smiled as he sat down on the corner of Hendrickson's desk.

"Dean? Is that his name, Sam? His name is Dean?" Adam asked him.

Sam sighed softly hanging his head, "Yeah,"

"Sonofabitch," Hendrickson mumbled, causing Adam to look over at him.

Hendrickson motioned for Adam to cover the phone so Sam couldn't hear.

Adam frowned at his partner, "Hold - hold on a minute, Sam."

"What?" Adam whispered to Hendrickson as he cupped his hand over the cell.

"If this is Dean Winchester we're dealing with here, I can put that muther away for a helluva lot longer than just for beatin' the hell out of his brother!" Hendrickson hissed softly, then pointed at Adam, "And you be careful messin' with that twisted fucks brother!" he told him before pulling from his chair and hurrying off down the hall.

Adam sighed, shaking his head as he pulled up from Hendrickson's desk and raised the cell to his ear again, walking toward his office.

"I'm back, Sam. Sorry about that, last minute business to wrap up." Adam told him.

Sam nodded as he walked toward the bed that would be his, "It's okay." Sam told him as he tossed his dry clothes down on the bed.

"So what are you doing this fine evening?" Adam asked Sam, smiling as he glanced out the small window of his office at the pouring rain.

"Uh," Sam looked around the motel room, "standing near my bed soping wet with rain and freezing my ass off."

Adam chuckled, "What? Did your momma ever teach you not to play in the rain when it was cold out?" 

Sam gave a soft smile, "No, I guess not."

"You better get some dry clothes on, I won't be held responcible for you catching pnemonia." Adam told him.

"Yeah, I was about to do that when you called." Sam told him, eyeing the clothes on his bed.

Hendrickson came to the door of Adam's office, knocking on the door jam, a thick manila folder in hand.

Adam glanced over at his partner, seeing the folder and knowing Victor was up to something, Adam frowned into the phone, "Listen Sam, I need to clear outta here, how about I call you when I get home, say in about half an hour?"

Sam bit his lip, glancing at the door, "Um," what if Dean came back? No, Dean wouldn't be back till late, or early depending on how you wanted to look at it. "sure, yeah, okay." Sam agreed.

Adam smiled, "Great, it's a date. I'll talk to ya in a half hour, Sam."

Adam hung up the phone and looked over at Victor, "Whatcha got?"

"Enough evidance to put Dean Winchester away for a very very long time." Hendrickson told him, a cocky smile pulling at his lips.

* * * 

Sam had not only changed, but he had taken a shower and was now pacing with butterflies in his chest as he stared at his cell that lay on his bed while he worried his bottom lip.

 

He wasn't sure why he had taken a shower, of course, the hot water had warmed his cold skin, so that was nice, but he was acting like this was a real date or something, the way he had combed his unruly hair just so, brushed his teeth... twice, put on not only his deodorant, but actually hazard putting on a dab of Dean's cologne as well. 

It wasn't much so you really had to sniff for it, but it made Sam feel more 'dressed up', even if he was only wearing sweats and a tee. After all, it wasn't like Adam could see him.

He knew that before Dean got too close to him in the morning he would need to shower again to get the smell of his cologne off of him, but at the time, when Sam had reached for it, he hadn't cared.

Now, as the minutes ticked by, Sam was starting to wonder if any of that had been such a good idea. What if Adam didn't call? What if Dean came back early? What if -? 

The ringing of Sam's cell drew him out of his worried thoughts as Sam stared at the cell for a moment before moving.

Walking over to his bed, Sam grabbed up the cell and sat down.

"Hello?" Sam answered it, sounding unsure and a little scared.

"I'm sorry I'm late but Vic wouldn't let me out of the office and then I wanted to shower when I got in." Adam told him as soon as he heard Sam's voice on the other end of the line.

Sam smiled as he glanced over at the clock, Adam was only three minutes late. It wasn't that big a deal.

Sam's smile widened, "It's okay."

"Yeah?" Adam asked him, "I didn't just blow this?"

Sam frowned slightly, a smile still tugging at the corner of his lips, "What is this, exactly?" 

Adam smiled wide on the other end of the phone as he descended the stairs leading into his kitchen, "Well, I hate to call it a date, seeings as I can't even see you, but I think we're past the pleasantries thing, right?"

Sam chuckled as he laid back on his bed, "Yeah, I guess we are."

"So what would this be? Hmm?" Adam frowned thoughtfully as he opened his refrigerator.

"A pre-date?" Sam offered.

Adam grabbed the jug of orange juice out of his fridge and nodded smiling, "Pre-date, I like that, because it promises that there will be a date date in the future."

Sam smiled, then his smile slowly fell away, "Adam, I don't know if I can -"

"Sam, you can do anything you want to, you're a grown man, Dean doesn't own you." Adam interrupted him.

Sam sighed softly, as his eyes slowly slid toward the door, but he didn't say anything.

"So where is your brother now, Sam?" Adam asked him.

Sam frowned, "How do you know -?" he started to ask as he pulled up, sitting on the edge of the bed, brow creased.

"Sam, I'm FBI, I know a lot of things, it's okay." Adam told him softly.

Sam hung his head, "I guess you know about Dean being wanted then too, huh?"

Adam nodded as he poured his glass of O.J., Mmmm hmmm, I do, but that doesn’t bave anything to do with you, Sam.”

Sam heaved a heavy sigh, "I shouldn't even be talking to you."

Adam set the jug of orange juice down on the counter and went for broke, "When did Dean start beating you, Sam?" he asked softly.

Sam bit his lip, tears stinging his eyes as he looked toward the door, shaking his head.

"He doesn't mean it, Adam. He loves me." Sam told him softly, a sob catching in his throat.

Adam hung his head as he leaned back against his counter, blond tresses, still wet from his shower, fell into his face.

“Sam,” Adam said softly, carefully, "I'm sure he does in his own way," he told him, as he lifted his head, running his free hand through the wet strands as he pushed his hair back, "but it doesn't make his kind of love right. It's poison love, Sam and it's gonna kill you one day." 

Sam choked back a sob, "I'd deserve it."

Adam shook his head, "No, no Sam, you wouldn't."

"You don't know! You don't know me! I'm a disease! Cursed, Adam! You should... you should run as far away from me as you can!" Sam nearly yelled into the phone through gritted teeth.

"You don't scare me, Sam. And neither does Dean. I'm not going anywhere and I don't want you to either. You need to get away from him before I never get a chance to see that smile." Adam told him softly.

Sam didn't respond, only drew in a shaky breath, as tears fell from his eyes despite his trying not to cry.

"Where is Dean now, Sam?" Adam asked him again.

Sam sniffled, "He's out," he huffed, "at a strip joint," Sam shook his head as he rubbed his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of his free hand, "he probably won't be back till sun up."

Adam nodded as he picked up the jug of O. J. carrying it back to the fridge, "And he leaves you at the motel? Why, does he think you'll get all the women?"

Sam shook his head, "I dunno, I don't want to be there anyway, don't want to see him," Sam stopped himself, bit his lip.

"Don't want to see him what? Does he hurt other people, Sam?" Adam asked him, as he closed the fridge door.

"No, no it's nothing like that. I just can't watch him do that," Sam shook his head.

Adam grew quiet as he walked back over to the counter and leaned back against it, "Sam, are you having relations with your brother?"

"What!?" Sam asked him, eyes going wide.

"Sam, calm down, I just thought maybe you and your brother were lovers is all." Adam told him.

Sam covered his mouth with a hand as he sat there quietly.

"You are aren't you?" Adam asked after a long while had passed and Sam didn't say anything.

"It's not as sick as it sounds." Sam whispered softly, eyes closed, tears slowly sliding down his cheeks.

Adam didn't answer as he drank down some of his O.J. and reached for Dean's file, making a note to add raping his brother to the list of charges they were compiling against him.

When the other end of the phone went silent, Sam bit his lip hard to hold back the emotions tearing at his heart. "I'll - I'll let you go." he said softly into the phone.

Adam nearly chocked on his O. J. spewing half of it across the counter, "Sam, wait!" Adam coughed and sputtered, "I was drinking! Don't hang up!"

Sam paused about to hit the **END** button when he heard Adam's words on the other end of the line.

"You - you were?" Sam stammed skeptically.

"Yeah, now I have orange juice all over my kitchen where I just spit it so I could keep you on the phone."

Sam gave a half smile, a small chuckle working out of him.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" Adam asked him, grinning himself as he wiped orange juice off his hands and the counter.

"No," Sam told him, his smile widening, "it's not, I'm sorry." he said as he tried to not smile.

"Like hell, it was actually damn funny. Where are video tapes in moments like that, huh?" Adam countered, starting to chuckle as he wiped up orange juice.

Sam shook his head, smiling, "I have no idea."

Adam sighed as he leaned on his sticky counter, "Sam why the hell am I talking to you on the phone?"

Sam blinked, his smile falling away, "Uh, I don't," he licked his lips, "I'm sorry, I'll let-"

"Sam!" Adam interrupted and sighed, "what I mean is, why am I just talking to you when I could be looking at you too?"

Sam frowned, "Huh?"

"Where are you at Sam? And don't tell me you can't tell me, cause I'll find out anyway. I'm coming to pick you up." Adam told him as he turned and started heading toward the stairs of his house to go to his room.

"What!? No, you can't! Dean-"

"Dean will be gone till sun up, you said so yourself." Adam countered as he climbed the stairs.

"I'm not dressed to go anywhere." Sam told him.

"Well good, means I don't have to get dressed up, we'll come back here to my house, I'll make crappy cappuccino’s and we'll talk until just before the sun comes up when my Cinderella turns back into a pumpkin. Come on, Sam, whaddaya say?"

Sam bit his lip, his heart pounding in his chest like it did on a hunt.

"Well, I -" he sighed as he looked toward the door.

"Come on, please?" Adam asked him softly.

"Blue bird motel on -"

"I know where it is. Be there in half an hour!" Adam interrupted him, smiling wide, "I'll see you then, sweets." 

The phone went dead.

Sam slowly pulled his cell away from his ear, his gaze on the door as he worried his bottom lip.

_Please Dean, please don't come back early tonight. Please._

Twenty eight minutes later a knock sounded at the motel room door and Sam nearly jumped out of the chair he was in, eyes wide.

He'd managed to chew the first layer of skin off his bottom lip, then had went to biting his nails as he waited for time to pass. 

He had re-combed his hair three times, changed into jeans, decided to bring his sweats, just in case and stuffed them into his back pack, had powered up his laptop and looked at pictures of Agent Adam Verona on-line, which had made him decide to change shirts three times and comb his hair another four times.

Pulling from the chair, Sam walked over to the door, and took a deep breath before opening it.

A guy with longish unruly blond hair, shining brown eyes and a wide smile stood there looking at him.

"Hey, Sam," Adam greeted happily even with rain pouring down all around him, save for the over hang.

The corners of Sam's mouth turned up into a small smile, "Hi," he it his lip and hung his head.

"You ready to go?" Adam asked him.

Sam nodded, as he took a step back and grabbed his jacket and backpack. "Ready as I'll ever be," Sam he allowed with a nod, as he stepped back up to the door.

Adam nodded as he reached out and took Sam's back pack for him, "I got it." he smiled.

Turning slightly, one hand reaching up to lay on Sam's shoulder, Adam pointed to the Camaro that was parallel parked in the middle of the entrance, "Don't tell the local cops or anything cause that's illegal as hell, but that's me." Adam told him. 

Looking back at Sam, smile still firmly on his face, Adam let his hand slide down Sam's arm, from his shoulder to take Sam's hand in his, lacing their fingers together, as he nodding his head to the side toward the car, "let's go."

Adam pulled Sam out from under the over hang and out into the rain, running with him, like a couple of kids playing in the rain, toward his car.

Adam shouting about the cold and laughing as they went, causing Sam to join in with his laughter.

Only when they drew closer, did Adam release Sam's hand so that he could run around to the drivers side and get in. With both of them in the car, sopping wet and shivering slightly, Adam looked over at Sam, his wide smile, mirroring Sam’s. 

"Betcha never ran in the rain on a date before," Adam challenged, chuckling as he reached to turn the key in the ignition, his gaze staying firmly planted on Sam's face.

Sam's face was hurting, and for once it wasn't due to being punched, but from smiling so much., Adam had a smile, a laugh, away about him that made you feel the same, joyful, alive. You couldn't help but smile.

Sam shook his head, "Nope, that was a first," he agreed.

Adam laughed harder, turning his attention to looking out the windshield, "Score one for Adam," he declared triumphantly with a wide grin curving his lips as he pulled the Camaro out onto the road.

Instead of having the radio turned up so loud that Sam could barely think, the ride to Adam's was spent with Adam asking Sam questions about himself and telling Sam a little of his own life.

Sam learned quickly that Adam was a computer games junkie and had a large collection of such at his house.

Sam also learned that Adam was originally from Australia, which was evident when Adam got excited as his accent would make a small appearance, another thing Sam found endearing about him.

Of course, with Adam, nearly every topic got him excited so there were a lot of moments when Sam felt like he was having a conversation with either the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Erwin or Crocodile Dundee.

Sam told Adam that he had been born in Lawrence, Kansas and how they traveled around a lot.

Adam had looked over at Sam then, his gaze steady as he had told Sam, "I hope you plan on stickin' around here for a while, though."

Adam's sincere words, had Sam hanging his head and blushing slightly in the darkness of the car, though he didn't answer.

Sam didn't want to tell Adam that he wouldn't be, that soon enough Dean would say it was time to go and off they would be to another state somewhere in some backwoods town killing some evil thing or another. Hunting evil, saving people, the family business.

No, Sam told him none of that.

"Moving around like that," Adam said as he shifted gears, "What about school? Friends?" he asked Sam, glancing at him and quirking a brow.

Sam shook his head, hanging it, "No, I never really had any friends. Not many anyway," he shrugged a shoulder, turning his head to look out the side window, "Dean was the one who had friends, or more of them. Was popular."

A muscle in Adam's jaw twitched as he kept his gaze on the road in front of them. "Yeah, well, kids can be stupid." he mumbled.

Sam gave a huffed chuckle, shaking his head, glancing over at Adam, who glanced over, meeting his gaze. 

Adam smiled, "I bet you were cute. Probably had all the teachers eating out of the palm of your hand."

Sam chuckled as he shook his head, "Not that I know of."

Adam shrugged a shoulder, "Meh, adults can be stupid too." he muttered, looking back out the windshield.

Sam actually full out chuckled, "Are you going to say that everyone who didn't think I was 'it' was stupid?"

Adam nodded slowly, as he reached over and shifted gears again, "Probably."

Silence grew between them, but it wasn't uncomfortable like it was with Dean when he grew quiet, the smile on Sam's face remaining.

Adam glanced over at Sam as he turned the Camaro onto a street that gave way to a small neighborhood with expensive homes dotting the sides.

"So, what did your mother think of all that traveling around?" Adam asked him.

Sam shook his head, his smile falling away as he looked down, head hanging, "Wouldn't know, she died when I was a baby."

Adam's hand moved from the gear shift over to Sam's hand that rested on his thigh, gripping his hand in a firm but gentle grasp, Adam's thrum rubbing softly over Sam's knuckles as he looked over at him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm sure that was hard for you," Adam murmured gently.

Sam nodded, muscle twitching in his jaw, lips pressed firmly together as he turned his head and looked out the side window.

"It was, still is." Sam agreed softly.

Adam squeezed Sam's hand comfortingly before he released it to down shift the car's gears.

Adam glanced at Sam from the corner of his eye, "So your mom lives in Heaven where she can watch over you forever and smile down at you, at the wonderful man you've become," Adam nodded, smiling softly, "I'm sure you make her proud everyday, Sam."

Sam slowly looked over at Adam, the way he put it, the way he worded his mother's death, it didn't seem so horrible. Not like when Dean talked about it, blamed him for it. 

Sam hung his head with a sigh before shaking it, "I don't know about that, Adam."

Adam quirked a brow, but kept his eyes on the road, "Now don't make me speak ill of the deceased, I've never even met your mother, but if she doesn't think you're wonderful then you know what I'm gonna say."

Sam couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips as he looked back at Adam, "Stupid," he nodded, "right, I remember."

Adam nodded smiling, "You got it."

Sam chuckled, hanging his head for a moment before he looked up again, "No, my mom was a smart woman, so I guess she must think I'm pretty alright."

Adam smiled wider as he glanced at Sam, "Glad to hear it."

Sam shook his head, still smiling as he looked out the side window at the houses they passed.

"So, what about your dad, he still around?" Adam asked him.

Sam shook his head, "He died a couple years ago," he mumbled softly and hung his head. "There was an accident, I was driving and the semi came out of no where, hit the car." Sam shook his head looking back up, staring straight ahead.

"Dean almost didn't make it," Sam muttered softly. 

"But he did and instead your dad died?" Adam asked him, frowning.

Sam nodded, "Dad," he sighed, "He did what he had to for Dean to live, he gave," Sam paused thoughtfully, unable to actually tell Adam the truth that their Dad had given his soul to a demon in exchange for Dean’s life. 

"He gave of himself for Dean. It killed him," Sam said softly, shaking his head, "It should’a been me."

Adam glanced over at Sam, "Sam, just because you're Dean's brother doesn't mean you would have been a match, doesn't mean that you could have given him what he needed," he mused, looking back at the road.

"What kind of transplant was it?" Adam asked.

_Soul_

Sam shook his head, "Doesn't matter. It just should have been me, not my dad."

Adam pulled the Camaro into a driveway and turned off the car.

Turning in his seat slightly Adam looked at Sam, "Sam, I know it's hard to lose a parent, but you can't blame yourself. Your dad gave for his son, it was _his_ decision. And he apparently he thought that he was strong enough to handle it, he wasn't. It's not your fault. You need to stop blaming your self." Adam murmured and smiled softly at him. “Besides, he's with your mom now, and they _both_ are looking down at you, proudly." he assured, giving Sam a pointed look that told him not to argue that fact.

Sam smiled slightly and nodded. How was it that Adam could make the same situation, the same outcome sound so much better than Dean always did?

Adam glanced out the windshield at his house, then looked back at Sam, "Well, this is it, this is my house," he announced with a smile. "Come on, I promised you crappy cappuccinos," he reminded with a wink smiling as he reached for the door handle.

Sliding from behind the wheel, Adam reached into the backseat, grabbing Sam's back pack, the rain had slowed to a low drizzle now as Adam pulled from the car and Sam walked around to his side.

"Here," Sam said, reaching for his backpack.

"I got it," Adam told him, smiling, "You're my guest. I can carry your backpack," he eyed Sam, "Unless of course you have a dead body in there, then maybe I better not cause that would just look bad on the news, 'Agent Verona found with backpack stuffed with dead body, film at eleven'," he quoted flashing Sam a lopsided grin.

Sam chuckled shaking his head, "No, no dead bodies."

Adam nodded, smiling as he clapped Sam on the shoulder, "Good, that's a relief." he teased, "Come on, Sweetheart, let's go in."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> The Fanfiction was written for Livejournal's community's “Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester” Challenge.

Walking into Adam's home was like walking into everything Sam had always wanted but never had.

The house was spacious, not overly large, but spacious with a large stairwell leading to a second floor that had a loft and opened up behind that to reveal rooms dotting a long hall.

To the left of the front door were the living room and what Sam thought was probably the kitchen, the dining room with a large cherry oak table directly in front of them, a chandelier of electric candles hanging over it.

Adam smiled at Sam as he stepped around him to hang up his jacket and Sam's back pack on hooks that lined the wall in the front entry., "Don't be shy, come on in, make yourself at home."

Adam held out his hand, "Want me to hang up your jacket?" 

Sam gave a small nod as he shrugged it off his shoulders, feeling a little self conscious in just his tee, even if Adam was just wearing a tee now too.

Where Sam's blue tee looked as though it had been bought at Kmart, Adam's mustard yellow one boasted the designer name, 'Hollister' up the side.

Sam bit his lip as he walked further into Adam's house, taking in his surroundings.

Paintings by different artists decorated the walls, Monet was one that Sam recognised right off, it hung on the wall just inside Adam's living room.

Sam glanced up at Adam as he walked in behind him, that same infectious smile pulling at his lips, making his light brown eyes sparkle.

"You like art?" Sam asked him.

Adam shrugged a shoulder, stepping up beside Sam to look at the painting with him, "It was a gift from my sister. She said my walls were too white."

Sam smiled nodding, "I can see where that would be a problem." he teased.

The fact that he was actually teasing someone, feeling comfortable enough to do so, hit Sam afterward. 

Again, he found Adam to be amazing.

Stepping away from the wall, Sam turned and tilted his head as he looked at yet another painting.

Adam stepped over beside Sam, hands clasped behind his back as he looked at the painting with him, "Do you like Chagall?" Adam asked.

Sam frowned slightly, shaking his head, "I - it's different." he smiled, "I remember it from college, I took a class once," he shrugged a shoulder, "an art class, thought it would be an easy credit."

Adam gave a small nod, "Not as easy as you thought it was?"

"I tried to do a family portrait," Sam told him with a sigh as his frown deepened, "they were all stick figures."

Adam laughed, placing his hand on Sam's shoulder and shaking his head.

"If you say that you bet it was beautiful, I'll know you're full of shit," Sam told him, as he tore his gaze from the painting to look at Adam from the corner of his eye, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Adam shook his head, "No, even I can't help you with that one, sweetling." 

Adam's hand on Sam's shoulder moved to wrap around his waist as they stood there.

Sam tensed, but didn't move away, didn't say anything.

"You know," Adam told him, nodding to the painting, "I think that's probably how love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky," 

Sam didn't say anything, only frowned slightly.

Adam glanced over at Sam from the corner of his eye, "with a goat playing the violin." he added, his smile spreading. "Because happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat."

Sam slowly turned his head to look at Adam who's face was beet red as he fought to hold in his laughter. 

As Sam looked at him, Adam lost it, cracking up laughing.

Sam laughed with him, shaking his head, "You..."

Adam took a step back, his arm falling away from Sam's waist as he doubled over with laughter.

Adam reached out and captured Sam's hand with his, "Come on, I promised you crappy coffee."

"Cappuccinos." Sam corrected as he let Adam pull him into the next room.

"Yeah, yeah, it'll probably taste the same." Adam snickered.

As they walked into the kitchen Adam made a beeline for the counter where Dean's file still lay and quickly tucked it into a cabinet under the sink before turning around to face Sam.

"So, do you want to grind the coffee, or read me the directions?" Adam asked him.

Sam arched a brow, "Read you the directions?"

Adam snickered and nodded, "this monster," he stepped over to a large silver coffee, cappuccino, espresso maker, "was a Christmas present from my partner, Vi c and his family," Adam shook his head, "I haven't used it yet."

Sam nodded and sighed, "Um, I'll read," he picked up the coffee grinder and handed it to Adam, "you grind."

Adam grinned at him nodding, "Works."

Together they managed to make cappuccinos, though they were a hell of a lot darker than the ones you get at Starbucks and both Adam and Sam stood frowning down at the cups, neither taking a sip.

"Go ahead and try it." Adam told Sam, nudging him with an elbow.

"Nah, you go first." Sam told him.

"Oh, but you're my guest, you should go first." Adam insisted.

They studied one another for a moment, neither too thrilled about trying the dark brew.

Adam picked up his mug, "Okay, we try it together one three."

Sam picked up his and nodded, "Okay."

"One" Adam counted.

"Two." Sam joined in.

"Three." they said together and both took a sip, then ran to the sink to spit out the offending brew.

Adam started laughing and Sam looked at him like he had just lost his mind.

"You shoulda seen your face!" Adam laughed pointing at Sam.

Sam frowned, though a smile tugged at the corners of his lips, "Yours wasn't any better, believe me!"

Adam chuckled, his laughter slowly dying, "You think sugar would help it?"

Sam shook his head, "I dunno, I don't think holy water would help it."

Adan snickered and reached inside a cabinet for the sugar bowl and started spooning out sugar into his cup.

Sam watched him for a minute, then reached over with a hand and grabbed a handful of sugar and dropped it into his own, stirring it and taking a small sip.

"It's not as bad now." Sam told him.

Adam took a sip of his own and made a face, then reached for Sam's mug and too a sip.

"Hey! Yours is better than mine." Adam frowned.

"Needs more sugar. Sam told him.

"Or maybe it was your hand that did it, maybe if you stick your finger in mine it'll taste better." he smiled.

Sam raised his brows frowning slightly.

"Oh, sorry." Adam told him, "I dunno where that came from, I blame the caffeine."

Sam chuckled, "Caffeine, huh?"

Adam nodded, "Oh yeah, totally the caffeine." he told him, lifting his mug to take another sip.

Sam tilted his head as he fumbled with the spoon in his mug, "So, caffeine makes you hit on me?"

Adam put his mug down on the counter, "Nope, it makes me speak without thinking. You make me want to flirt with you." Adam told him, intentionally changing 'hit on' to 'flirt'.

Sam bit his lip and hung his head, his cheeks stained a soft shade of pink.

Adam stepped closer to Sam, raising a hand to cup Sam's cheek, "Sam?" Adam said his name softly.

Sam lifted his head, hazel eyes meeting soft brown.

"Is it alright with you that I flirt with you?" Adam asked him softly, as his thumb slowly moved to trace over Sam's cheek bone.

Sam bit his lip, shifting his weight, "I - I like it, but Dean he -"

Adam shook his head slowly, "Dean has nothing to do with this, with us, Sam." Adam told him softly.

"Do you see him here?" Adam asked him.

Sam frowned slightly, "No, but -"

Adam shook his head, "But, nothing, Sam. He isn't here, he doesn't matter. You and me, that's what matters here. If you are okay with it, then who cares what Dean thinks?"

Sam worried his bottom lip, as he dropped his gaze, "You don't know what he'll do."

Adam sighed, "He won't hurt you, Sam. I won't let him." Adam told him softly, "If you let me, I can make sure he never touches you again."

Sam looked up, "I can't,"

Adam stepped closer, slowly leaning in to brush his lips across Sam's.

Sam froze as soon as Adam's lips brushed his. Somewhere in his mind, Sam waited for the hand that would grope him, the teeth that would bite him, the tongue that would lick. But none of that happened, as Adam simply drew slowly away.

Pulling back, Adam smiled softly, "Sorry, I just had to do that."

Sam smiled slightly, hanging his head, "Had to?"

Not that Sam minded, it was probably the best, the softest kiss Sam had ever gotten.

Adam nodded, "Mmm-hmm, I think it's like a law in some states, 'Adam Verona must kiss Sam Winchester'." he smiled wide, giving a one shouldered shrug,. "at least I voted for that law to pass."

Sam looked up at him, "It's a good law."

Adam smiled, "I'm glad you like it, so do I."

Adam licked his lips and looked around his kitchen, "Come on," he told Sam, as he picked up his mug and started for the kitchen door, "I am totally going to kick your ass at 'Left 4 Dead'."

Sam frowned as he grabbed his own mug and followed after Adam, "Left for Dead?"

Adam nodded as he walked, "Yeah, you know, video game, XBox 360. I totally rule that game!"

Getting set up for the game wasn't a problem, Adam had a huge wrap around couch in front of a 52" wide screen TV and a huge square coffee table in the center of it all where they put down their mugs.

Explaining the game to Sam wasn't a problem either, he seemed to pick up on the idea of killing Zombies and staying away from a crazy witch rather quickly, it wasn't even too hard to teach him to use the controllers.

What was hard, was Adam dealing with the fact that this beginner was actually kicking his ass!

Adam took to fighting dirty, picking up a throw pillow and using a frilly edge to tickle Sam's ear as he played, and when that didn't work as well as he thought it would he took to giving wet willies, sucking on his fingers, then ticking Sam's ear with it.

Sam, however was not one to lose his concentration so easily.

When it was Adam's turn after all this however, Sam decided to retaliate with a few tricks of his own, blowing in Adam's ear and nuzzling his neck.

Sam's lips happen to graze Adam's neck at one point, likely by accident and Adam knew it, however in his own retaliation, Adam tossed the controller to the side and tackled Sam back on the couch, lifting the front of Sam's shirt in the process.

Sam who had been laughing, suddenly froze up, eyes wide, as he started to try to fight off Adam the way he would Dean.

Adam, who hadn't meant the action in any bad way, simply lowered his head and blew a raspberry on Sam's stomach, laughing as he did, oblivious to Sam's distress.

Lifting his head after the raspberry, Adam's smile slowly started to fall away as he looked at Sam's face.

"Hey, you okay?" Adam asked him softly.

Sam turned his head and nodded, "Yeah, sorry."

Adam moved up Sam more, cupping his face and turning Sam's head toward him.

"Talk to me, what is it?" Adam asked him, still breathing slightly heavy from their wrestling.

Sam shook his head, "Nothing, it - I'm just stupid."

Adam scoffed, "Like hell you are, now tell me."

Sam sighed, "Bad memories." 

Adam clenched his jaw, muscle twitching as he nodded, "I'm sorry, sweetheart." he told him softly shaking his head, "I didn't mean -"

"No," Sam shook his head, "I know."

They were both silent for a moment before Sam bit his lip and smiled slightly, "Did you blow a raspberry on me?"

Adam grinned and nodded, "I did," his eyes widened excitedly, "you want me to do another one!?"

Adam started to move like he was going to, and Sam grabbed him, pinning Adam on top of him. "Aak! No! No raspberries!"

"Raspberries are good for you! You can have them along with your violin playing goat!" Adam argued as he struggled to get to Sam's belly and blow another raspberry.

Sam's hard muscled stomach got even harder as he flexed against the raspberry Adam was intent on blowing on him.

"No! Ak! No raspberries!" Sam shouted, laughing.

Adam continued to struggle and wiggle, shimmying down Sam's body toward his stomach.

Sam wrapped a leg around him to stop him at the same time that Adam started to press back, they both went rolling off the couch onto the floor.

Sam started to jump up as soon as they hit the floor and tell Adam he was sorry, but Adam was already crawling up him, still laughing.

Letting himself half fall on Sam, Adam nodded, "I give up! You win! No more raspberries!" he laughed.

Sam smiled as they lay side by side looking at one another only a small space between them.

"Oh," Adam said softly, "I was right, by the way."

Sam frowned curiously, "About?"

"You do have a beautiful smile." Adam told him softly before leaning in and pressing his lips softly to Sam's.

Adam pulled back slowly, chocolate brown orbs gazing into champagne hazel.

"What are you thinking?" Adam asked Sam softly, "Right now, what are you thinking?"

Sam shook his head slightly, "How amazing you are, different." Sam's eyes dropped to Adam's lips, "How I'd like you to kiss me again." Sam answered his voice soft, shy.

Adam smiled softly and leaned in, brushing his lips gently across Sam's as he slowly moved an arm to wrap around him. 

Adam's hand sliding up to cup the back of Sam's head, digits tangling in the soft strands.

Drawing back just slightly, Adam searched Sam's face as he slowly pulled his hand back around, running the back of his fingers down Sam's cheek.

Sam's poor face was a mess of bruises and small cuts, one eye had a large red, yellow and green bruise around it, the corner of Sam's lip was cut, the skin around his nose still looked swollen, probably from a recent punch, but to Adam he was beautiful anyway.

"Stay the night with me," Adam said softly.

Sam opened his mouth, as he shook his head, "I-"

Adam closed his eyes for a brief moment as he shook his head, "I don't mean like that, Sam," he told him softly, brown eyes searching hazel, "I just mean, stay here, on my couch if you want to, I just want to hold you. That's all."

Just hold me? Sam couldn't remember the last time Dean had ever held him. The fact that someone, that Adam wanted to now, made his heartache, his throat burn with sobs that he held back. 

How could something so simple make a grown man, a hunter, feel so damn happy and at the same time so horribly sad because he couldn't have it, that he wanted to cry?

Sam bit his lip as he blinked away the sting of unshed tears.

"I want to, but I-" he shook his head, as a single tear ran from his eye down his cheek, the side of his nose, "I can't."

Adam nodded, closing his eyes as he pulled Sam to him, wrapping his arms around him. "It's okay," Adam told him softly, dropping a kiss on Sam's head as it rested against his chest. "It's okay."

Adam held Sam as he lay there his head pillowed on his chest. 

He could feel his shirt getting soaked through by Sam's tears, but Adam said nothing, only held him a little tighter, kissing his head and whispering to him that it was going to be okay.

Nearly an hour later, Adam felt the steady rise and fall of Sam's chest, his even breathing and knew he had fallen asleep.

Adam smiled softly as he placed a soft kiss on Sam's head. "You sleep, sweetling. I'll be here." he told him softly as he closed his own eyes with a heavy sigh.

* * * 

[Blue Bird Motel - the other side of town]  
4 AM

Drunken fingers fumbled with the key in the lock to room 12, before finally getting it unlocked and staggering inside to find no one in the far bed.

"Sammy! Get out here!" Dean slurred, "I wanna fuck that tight ass!"

Dean walked toward the bathroom, "Sam?" he called, pushing the door that was half open, half closed the rest of the way open.

Dean frowned not seeing Sam there either.

Turning back around, Dean spotted Sam's laptop, still plugged in and took a seat in front of it.

"Alright, bitch, where the fuck did you go?" Dean muttered as he powered up the laptop.

The first thing that flashed on the screen was a picture of Agent Adam Verona, smiling at him.

Dean sobered immediately, "Son of a fucking bitch! You fucking little piece of dog-shit whore!!" Dean yelled into the empty room.

Dean grit his teeth, as he pulled from his seat, was about to grab the laptop and throw it at the wall but stopped.

Blazing jade orbs narrowed as he thought of a better way to teach his fuckin' slut of a brother not to ever go whoring around on him again, though it didn't stop him from turning around with a growl of rage and punching a hole through the tacky papered drywall behind him.

* * * 

Adam opened his eyes and looked over at the clock hanging above his TV that was still on, only the picture was frozen at the beginning of the game.

5 AM, he should wake Sam and get him back to the motel. Adam sighed as he ran a hand down Sam's back.

God, he didn't want to do this, didn't want Sam going back there, didn't want to let him go, but he knew he had to.

Sam wasn't his, and until Sam saw fit to leave Dean once and for all he wouldn't be.

Bringing a hand up to gently brush back the long bangs that covered Sam's face, Adam, spoke softly, "Sam? Sweetling, you need to wake up."

Sam stirred and cringed, "No!" he called out sleepily, "No, Dean please! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! Please don't -" 

Sam's head rose abruptly as he sucked in a breath, eyes wide and scared as he looked around.

"Shshsh, it's okay. Dean's not here, you're safe, you're with me," Adam cooed gently.

Sam sighed softly as he let his head fall back down onto Adam's chest, "Mmm, what time is it?"

"It's five AM, sweetling, I have to get you back before the clock strikes midnight, my Cinderella."

Sam lifted his head, "Five? It's five in the morning!?" Sam sat up quickly, his eyes no longer sleep heavy but rather wide with panic. 

"I have to go! I have to go _now_ ," Sam rushed fearfully as he pulled to his feet, "I shouldn't have fallen asleep, I should have stayed awake, been back hours ago,” he rambled nervously.

Adam pulled up and reached out, taking Sam's hand in his, "You said yourself he is probably gonna be out till sun up, the sun's not up yet, it's still dark out, you have time. Calm down."

Sam took a deep breath, jaw set as he nodded, "Okay."

Adam stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Sam, even though he remained stiff, Adam hugged him.

"It's gonna be okay, Sam," Adam firmly assured before stepping back.

"Come on, I'll take you back," Adam gently offered.

Sam followed Adam to the door, where they both put on their jackets.

Sam grabbed his backpack, arms wrapped around it as he nodded to Adam.

He would have insisted on carrying Sam's backpack, but Adam could see Sam was so worried that he was in need of something to hold, and while he would have rather it had been him, Adam understood.

They walked out the door and were in the car pulling out of the drive only a few short minutes later.

As much as Adam tried to engage Sam in conversation, he was quiet, staring out the window, as he worried his bottom lip, clinging to his backpack.

Adam didn't give up easily, trying to keep up cheery banter, but one could only talk to ones self for so long.

As they pulled up in front of the motel, Sam seemed to sigh in relief.

"Car's not here," Sam mumbled, before turning to look at Adam.

Adam nodded offering Sam a soft smile, "Good, see? Nothing to worry about."

"I- I'm sorry," Sam told him, his eyes dropping to look down at the gear shift instead of into Adam's face.

Adam reached out, cupping Sam's face. "Don't be, I understand," he assured gently with a smile brightening his features, "I had a very nice time, Sam."

Sam smiled, "Me too."

Adam nodded, "Good. I'd like to do it again sometime."

Sam bit his lip, "Maybe."

Adam nodded, "A maybe will have to due me then," he mused as he leaned in, brushing his lips across Sam's.

"Have a good day, sweetling," Adam murmured as he drew back slowly.

Sam smiled, "You too." 

Adam watched Sam get out of the car and waved goodbye to him once he had the door to the motel unlocked.

Sam opened the door, a smile still on his face and was hit hard with something upside the head, sending him to the floor.

Dean stepped out from behind the door, tire iron in hand and shoved the door closed.

Sam rolled onto his stomach, his backpack having fallen to the floor when he did, lay nearby. He reached for the side of the bed snd began to slowly to pull himself up.

"Have a nice _fucking date_ , you sonuvabitch!" Dean roared as he raised the tire iron and used it to trike Sam across the back.

Adam was just pulling out of the parking lot of the motel, when Sam first cried out in pain.

Sam's body jerked, lips parted as a cry of pain left him. 

Rolling onto his back, Sam lifted his hands in defence blocking his face.

"Dean, please..."

"Dean, please? Dean, please?" Dean growled between clenched teeth, "was that what you said when he was fucking you, Sam? Huh? Did you think about your poor brother who puts up with your ass when you were getting your rocks off with your goddamn cop!?"

Sam shook his head, eyes wide, "No, Dean, no! I didn't- we didn't - I swear!" Sam told him.

"And why the hell should I believe a lying little fuckin' whore like you?" Dean asked him, reaching out to grab a handful of Sam's hair and yank him forward.

Sam's hands rose to Dean's wrist, as he rose to his knees when Dean pulled him upward, teeth clenched in pain.

Dean threw Sam forward by his hair, the momentum, sending him into the table leg, face meeting wood.

Sam grunted in pain as wood split open his forehead.

Laying on his stomach now, head under the table, Sam slowly moved his hands blindly feeling for the table leg, not lifting his head, hands shaking.

Dean was on him in an instant, straddling him, sitting on him. 

Dean managed to wrangle off Sam's jacket, throwing it to the side, then reached for his wrist, one then the other cuffing Sam's hands behind his back.

Dean raised up slightly, enough so he could roll Sam over, then lowered, straddling his hips once more, face twisted in an angry sneer.

"That bring back memories, Sam? You and your kinky ass cop? Huh? Did he cuff you, Sam? Hmm? Did he cuff you when he fucked your ass?" Dean asked him, jade eyes crazed with anger.

"No! No, please, we didn't do that!" Sam cried out, back arching as he tried to buck Dean off.

Dean punched Sam hard in the face.

"Stop trying to buck me off, Sam!" Dean shouted.

"What is it, huh, you'll let Blondie on you, but not me now? Is that it? Did you tell them where to find me? Did you? Is that your plan, turn in your brother, the one who has always taken care of you for this fuck! Huh?" Dean yelled in rage, as he reached down, grabbing the front of Sam's tee in a tight fist, nearly shaking him.

Sam squeezed his eyes closed, "No, Dean! No! I didn't tell him anything about you! I swear, Dean!"

Dean smiled, but it was crazed, not kind, not beautiful like Dean's smiles could be, it held malice and hate in it, the emotions showing in his brilliant green eyes. "No, but you let him fuck you, didn't ya?" Dean hissed, nodding to his own words.

Sam shook his head slowly, "No, Dean, no..."

"Lying cock sucker," Dean told him, voice soft, nearly a comforting tone, had it not been for the words spoken.

Sam's eyes opened, slowly to look up at his brother, only to be met with Dean's twisted frown of rage as he drew back a fist, punching Sam.

Dean hit him again and again, not stopping until blood started to wet his knuckles, spray onto the cheap motel room floor from Sam's nose and mouth.

"Pa-ease...Dean....pa-ease...." Sam groaned out, eyes screwed shut, face covered in his own blood.

Dean grabbed Sam by the front of his shit as he pulled off of him, throwing Sam forward, onto his stomach against the rough worn carpeting.

Sam gasped for breaths he couldn't seem to take in through his nose, head turned to the side, hands still cuffed behind his back.

Dean knelt over him, "Let's see just how good a boy you were." Dean sneered as he reached under Sam, hand between him and the floor as he unfastened Sam's jeans.

"No, Dean, pa-ease..." Sam begged him, trying in vain to struggle under his brother.

Dean pulled his hand out from under Sam once he had his jeans unfastened ans started to yank Sam's pants down, fingertips and short nails clawing at tender flesh.

Dean unfastened his own jeans, pulling his cock out and lowered, slamming his hips forward, his cock balls deep into his brother's ass.

Sam cried out in pain, head lifting off the floor.

Dean grabbed a handful of Sam's hair, yanking his head back as he lowered his head, licking up the side of Sam's neck.

"You're mine, Sam. You belong to me." Dean hissed softly in his ear.

Tears stung Sam's eyes as he groaned in pain, breaths panting out.

Dean thrust hard into Sam, face twisted in a sneer, each thrust meant to hurt, to teach Sam who he belonged with, belonged to.

"Say it, Sam!" Dean growled, "Say you're mine!"

Sam grit his teeth as he closed his eyes against the pain.

Dean's body twisted above Sam for an instant and then the cold metal of a blade was pressed to Sam's throat, "Say it, goddamn you, or I swear to God I'll slit your fuckin' throat!"

Sam's eyes opened wide, lips parted as he gasped in and panted out his breaths, "Yes, yours! Yours!" 

Dean ran the blade down the side of Sam's neck, sharp metal scratching sensitive flesh.

As Dean thrust harder into Sam, the sharp pointed tip of the knife poked into the skin of Sam's neck, small crimson ribbons trickled down his neck, soaking into the material of his tee.

"Don't kill me," Sam begged, "please don't kill me!" he cried, tears running down his cheeks mixing with his blood.

"Don't kill me, oh please don't kill me!" Dean mimicked in a whiny voice, before raising the hand with the knife and slamming it into Sam's temple.

Sam saw stars, darkness hovered at the edges of his vision.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you gave your ass to that cop!" Dean yelled at him.

Sam's face lay against the matted dirty carpet, his body moving slightly back and forth with each of Dean's thrusts.

Carpet burns marred Sam's already bruised cheek, not that he noticed it anymore as he stared unseeingly off.

Dean came hard in Sam's ass with a grunt and a groan before pulling out of him and tucking his spent cock back into his pants.

Sam lay on the floor, not moving. 

Dean fastened his own jeans back up, then reached for Sam turning him over and glared down at him.

"You like foreign things in your ass so much, Sammy, maybe I can find you something." Dean suggested.

Sam shook his head slowly, "No, Dean, pa-ease."

Dean reached down grabbing his brother's flaccid cock and squeezed, as he brought the blade down against it. "Maybe I'll just cut your fuckn' dick off, would your cop want you then?"

Sam groaned in pain, the fight gone out of him as he slowly shook his head, "Pa-ease, no..."

Releasing Sam's cock, Dean pulled to his feet, kicking him, "You're pathetic!" Dean spat, "You make me sick! Sick, Sam!"

A sob tore from Sam's throat as he rolled to his side, "The next time you take off on me, Sam, I won't be as nice! You just fuckin' remember that!" Dean told him as he tossed the knife onto the table.

"I gotta go get the car from 'round back where I hid it." Dean muttered, "We'll finish this conversation when I get back! Dean told him, tugging open the door and walking out, slamming the door closed behind him.

Sam lay crying on the floor, his entire body ached, his head, his face, chest, back, his neck, his ass and cock, but maybe most of all was the ache in his heart knowing he could never meet with Adam again.

If he did, he knew Dean meant what he said, he would kill him.

When Dean returned from pulling the car back around, Sam found that they indeed weren't finished 'talking', as Dean grabbed the knife off the table and rolled Sam onto his back, lifted his shirt and carved, what had felt like the entire alphabet in the flesh of Sam's stomach, but in truth was only a 'D', pressing hard at some points, as Dean's anger flashed through him, not so hard at other points when Dean started to calm.

Sam screamed through it all, until Dean punched him so hard that he blacked out.

Sam awake to find that he was being pulled into the bathroom, the water in the tub running full force.

Sam's gaze met Dean's as he looked up at him and Dean glared, "Good of you to rejoin the party, slut."

Sam looked toward the running water, unsure what Dean was going to do.

Sam had his answer a moment later as Dean pulled Sam's upper body up and over the side of the tub, holding Sam's face under the running water.

Sam squeezed his eyes closed, tried to press his lips together, hold his breath until it was to much for him to handle, and his lips parted, sucking water into his lungs as he drew in air.

Sam tried to thrash his head, cuffed hands gripping the side of the tub as he wiggled and thrashed, small sounds of protest leaving him.

"Stop fighting me!" Dean growled out, as he fought to hold Sam's thrashing head still.

"Open your fucking mouth whore! I'm not kissing that cock hole after you kissed and sucked him until we clean it out! Open your mouth!" Dean yelled at him, fingertips digging into the skin of Sam's abused face, tearing open cuts and gashes that had just scabbed over.

Blood mixed with water, turning it a soft shade of pink as it ran down the drain.

Sam's body flailed, his head thrashed as much as he was able with Dean holding him, but soon, Sam stopped fighting, his body going lax and still, having sucked in too much water.

Dean pulled Sam's head out from under the water and reached up, turning off the faucets.

"Sam," Dean called his name, but Sam didn't answer, didn't move.

"Sam!" Dean called again.

Nothing.

"Sammy!!!" Dean's hands fisted in his wet tee as he shook him, Sam's head falling back and forward like a baby's.

"Sonuvabitch!" Dean growled as he moved Sam, laying him down on the bathroom floor and started CPR.

"Come on, Sammy, come on," Dean mumbled in between breaths.

Sam's body convulsed, water shooting out of his mouth as he sucked in a breath.

Dean grinned down at him, "That's my boy."

Rolling Sam onto his side, Dean unlocked the handcuffs and pulled up, stepping over Sam's coughing and sputtering body.

"Clean yourself up, then this bathroom, you got fuckin' water all over the floor." Dean told him as he walked out.

Sam lay on the floor, gasping and choking in breaths, sputtering and coughing, one hand palm flat against the cool tile, the other still behind his back as he was, his body just too sore and weak to move it, as he rolled slightly back and forth, trying to breath, eyes wide, blood dripping from his face, mingling with the water on the floor, his jeans down to his thighs, his tee dotted with blood.

Dean had made his point.

* * *

[Two weeks later]

Dean and Sam were at Bobby's, had been there on and off for the past week and a half, the last hunt that they were working on just a memory now that they had taken care of it.

Sam had been getting messages left on his cell from Adam every day since he had last seen him. 

Sam never returned a single call, though he listened to every message.

Listened and memorized each one, every word from Adam's lips like a balm to Sam's wounded soul.

Since Adam had last seen Sam he had grown quiet, despondent.

His partner, Victor Hendrickson had taken to hanging out with Adam more, inviting him home with him at night for dinner and going to lunch with him during the days at work.

Hendrickson had tried to tell Adam to forget about Sam Winchester, that heartache was the only thing he could expect, first of all Sam was a Winchester, that only meant trouble.

Secondly, Sam was in an abusive relationship, and they both, being in law enforcement knew that those hardly ever ended well. 

It was only a matter of time before Sam was on the eleven o'clock news, with Dean Winchester lurking in the shadows of the background or worse yet, Sam would simply disappear off the face of the planet, as though he had never existed. 

It wouldn't be long until Sam Winchester was nothing more than a memory. A name that some would think 'sounded familiar', but no one thought to ask about any more.

Adam begrudgingly agreed with Victor, though when he was alone he continued to call Sam's cell, thinking that maybe he might catch him, or that he might hear one of his messages and call back. 

Adam wasn't trying to stalk him, wasn't trying to be a pain in Sam's ass. He just wanted, needed to know that Sam was alright, after leaving him at the motel that night, Adam had had a bad feeling all day at work that just wouldn't leave him.

He just wanted to hear from Sam's own lips that he was alright, then if Sam never wanted to hear from him again, Adam could live with that, he would live with that. 

Sure he wanted more with Sam, but he could take a hint.

Now the only thing he cared about was knowing that Sam hadn't been beaten to death or chopped into tiny bits and stuffed into that backpack of his.

It was the morning, well, afternoon really, after Adam had gotten so rip roaring drunk that Victor had brought him home and, as Victor had mumbled in his annoyance, "put his funny talkin', honky white ass ta bed", that Adam called Sam's cell again. 

Adam promised himself then that it would be the last time he ever called.

"Sam, it's me, Adam. I know that I have been callin' a lot and I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a pain in your arse. I'm just," Adam sighed, "I'm just worried about you. I had this horrible feeling after I left you that morning and I just want to hear that you're alright. Call me and tell me you're okay, I won't even pick up the phone, I'll let the machine get it. Just let me hear that you're okay." Adam paused, "Sam? if - if things would have went differently, I would have searched the world over for a violin playing goat for you." he gave a soft chuckle, nearly a scoff. "Yeah, well... doesn't matter I guess, does it? I hope you're well, sweetling." 

The phone went dead after that.

Sam sniffled as he wiped the tears from his eyes, his body rocking slightly back and forth as he sat on the side of his bed, chewing his thumb nail, his cell gripped tightly in one hand.

Sam pulled to his feet, tucking his cell back into his pocket and headed for the door.

Sam walked outside into the salvage yard toward Dean, hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans, head hanging.

Stopping next to where his brother was working Sam lifted his head, "Dean," he said softly,. "can we talk?"

Dean shrugged a shoulder as he continued to work on the junk car Bobby had asked him to take a look at. "So talk." 

Sam cleared his throat and glanced around them before his gaze fell back on his brother, "Do you remember how it use to be? Back, um, right after Madison died?" 

Dean glanced up at Sam and quirked a brow, "What are you talking about, Sam?"

Sam shifted his weight, "I mean, with us. How we were. You - you didn't get mad at me so much and-"

Dean lifted his head and quirked a brow, "Cause you weren't such a dick." he interrupted.

Sam pressed his lips together and gave a small nod, "Like that," he told him softly, "you didn't use to say mean things to me so much."

Dean sighed, "What are you getting at, Sam?"

Sam licked his lips, "Dean, you don't know what it was like, how nice it was just to be held, I -"

Dean pointed a finder at him, jaw set in angry lines, "Don't Sam! I don't want to fuckin' hear about what _he_ did with you!"

"No, Dean I -" Sam started, only to have Dean grab up a tire iron and swing it, smashing the car's window in anger.

"You fuckin' shut the hell up about him! I mean it Sam, if I ever even _see_ that fuckin' prick again, I'm gonna fuckin' kill him and that's a promise!"

Dean glared at him, "You remember what I did to you?" Dean asked him, voice low, deadly.

Sam gave a small nod. Yeah, he remembered, only too well, his stomach still held the 'D' shaped scar from what Dean had done.

"I won't be as kind to that sonuvabitch! And I will fuckin' gut him while you watch," Dean growled, his eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.

The look on Dean's face and the sound of his voice, the way he said it, Sam had no doubt he meant every word of it. He pressed his lips together and hung his head dutifully. 

So much for trying, Dean wasn't even really listening to what he had tried to say anyway.

Sam drew in a breath and gave a small nod as he turned and headed back toward the house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> The Fanfiction was written for Livejournal's community's “Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester” Challenge.

[Three days later]

Dean and Sam had checked into a motel on their way to God knew where. Sam was researching things on line to try to find them their next hunt, Dean looking through the papers.

It was late and Sam had just turned off his laptop when Dean grabbed his leather and shrugged it on.

"Dean," Sam called after him.

Dean turned around and shook his head, "Don't start with me, Sam."

Sam pressed his lips together as he looked at his brother, "Dean, I won't ever go any where without your permission again, won't see anyone," he shook his head, "but you can't take away the memory of what it was like," Sam swallowed, knowing he was on shaky ground here, "to be special."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yeah Sam, you're special alright," he mumbled turning back around and heading for the door, "hey, don't lick the window glass while I'm gone, my 'special' brother." Dean scoffed and shook his head as he tugged open the door, chuckling under his breath.

Sam sighed in exasperation, but said nothing as he watched his brother walk out the door.

* * * 

[The Next Night]

Sam was walking back toward their motel room from the vending machine, soda in hand when Dean stepped out of the room.

Dean glanced his way, flashing him a grin, "See ya in a few hours, Sammy." Dean winked and headed for the car.

Sam stared after him, mouth hanging open, Dean had just said they'd watch a movie, what the hell?

"Dean, wait!" Sam called out, quickening his steps.

Dean paused, closing his eyes in annoyance before opening them again, "What Sam?"

Stepping up to his brother, Sam shook his head slightly, a confused look on his face, "I thought you were staying in tonight, we were gonna watch a movie?"

Dean shrugged, "Changed my mind." he glanced across the highway toward a bar where men and women were laughing outside, all of which scantily clad.

He grinned at Sam, "Figured I'd get lucky one way or the other."

Sam sighed, "You know," he licked his lips, "some people actually liked spending the evening with me." he hung his head for a moment before looking back up at his brother, "it was nice to feel like someone might be able to love me. Really love me."

Dean's face slowly fell into a look of rage before he drew back a fist punching Sam in the face.

The force of the blow had Sam's head and upper body snapping to the side, before slowly looking back at Dean, hand raised, the side of his index finger against his cheek just under his left eye.

"There's your love, Sam." Dean spat at him before he turned and started walking away.

Sam watched his brother for a moment, jaw clenched, lips pressed tightly together, before he hurried after him.

"Dean, wait! Dean!" Sam called after him, but Dean continued to the car, tugging open the Impala's door.

"Go back to the room, Sam." Dean told him, face set in angry lines before he slid behind the wheel and slammed the door closed behind him.

"Dean! Dean wait!" Sam called, but Dean was already backing the Impala out of the parking spot, turning around and roaring out of the lot.

Sam's cell rang and he reached into his pocket flipping it open,"Yeah, what!?" he snapped into the phone.

Adam's face fell as he sat there, across from Hendrickson in the police station. 

"Sam? Look, I don't mean to keep bothering you. I know you're okay now, so -"

"No, wait, Adam, wait." Sam told him, glancing toward where the Impala had pulled off into traffic as he hung his head.

"I - it's okay. I wasn't yelling at you." Sam told him.

Adam nodded to Hendrickson and Victor turned on the computer that would track the GPS in Sam's phone.

Adam smiled slightly, "Oh, well, I'm glad you aren't angry with me. I was worried about you, you didn't return any of my calls,"

Sam bit his lip as he walked back toward the room, "Yeah, uh, I'm sorry about that. Dean, I, uh, I can't see you anymore. Well, Dean says I can't."

Adam sat straighter in his chair, his eyes fixed on Hendrickson's, "And what do you say, Sam?"

There was a lengthy silence as Sam walked into the room, closing and locking the door behind himself, thinking about Adam's question, about Dean and what had happened the last time he had seen Adam, about Dean's threat.

"I got him." Hendrickson whispered with a nod.

Adam nodded back, still waiting for Sam to answer.

"I - I want to Adam, but I can't. I'm sorry." Sam told him softly.

Adam nodded as he pulled to his feet, reaching for his jacket, slipping it on as he tilted his head to the side to hold the phone with his shoulder.

Hendrickson pulled up from his chair slipping his jacket on too.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Sam." Adam told him.

"I would if I could, " Sam said softly as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

"So, it's just Dean that's keeping you from seeing me?" Adam asked him.

Sam sighed as he laid back on the bed, "Of course it is."

"Well, I need to go, Sam. You be safe, okay sweetling?" Adam told him.

Sam's face fell as he bit his lip, "Yeah, o- okay."

"Goodbye, Sam." Adam told him as he and Hendrickson headed for the station's door.

Adam hung up his cell as he slid behind the wheel of the car, Hendrickson in the car behind him.

Both pulled out, headed for the Sundance Inn - Sam and Dean's motel.

*

Twenty Minutes later, as Sam was laying back on the bed, flipping through channels on the television, there was a knock at his motel room door.

"Manager, open up!"

Sam frowned and shut off the television, pulling to his feet.

Standing at the door, he peered out the peephole to find that it was indeed the manager standing there.

Sam opened the door, "What's the -"

Adam and Hendrickson barged into the room, Adam pressing Sam up against the wall, pulling his arm behind his back.

"You have the right to remain silent -" Adam started.

"What's going on? Adam?" Sam asked, his head turned toward the open door.

Hendrickson nodded to the manager and the man walked away.

Once it was just the three of them, Adam took a step back from Sam and released his arm, turning him around to look at his face.

"Sam, what the hell did he do to you?" Adam asked him as he cupped Sam's face between his hands.

Hendrickson paced away from the two, trying to give them some privacy.

Sam looked down, "It's nothin', it'll heal." he lightly batted Adam's hands away, "What's with arresting me?"

Adam smiled, "You aren't under arrest," he shrugged, "how else was I gonna find out your room number and get you to let me in?"

Sam frowned, "You could have asked me."

Adam quirked a brow, "And you would have told me?"

Sam hung his head.

"Yeah, I didn't think so." he muttered, reaching out to take Sam's hand in his, "Come on, get your stuff, we're going."

Sam shook his head, "I can't! Dean'll kill me!"

Hendrickson turned around and looked at Sam.

Sam saw Hendrickson there for the first time and swallowed hard. "Hendrickson." he nodded.

"Sam." Hendrickson nodded back.

Adam looked from one to the other, "You two know each other?"

Hendrickson looked at Adam, "I told you I've been after his brother for a long time. You don't find one without finding the other."

Adam frowned, "Well, now you do. Get your stuff, Sam."

"Adam, I can't!" Sam insisted.

"Sam, I am not leaving you here! If I have to I'll arrest you for, I don't know, stealing a library book, but you are coming with me!" Adam told him, his accent stronger than usual in his upset.

Sam's jaw clenched as he glanced up at Hendrickson.

"I'd listen to him," Hendrickson said, "you can't understand half of what he says but he usually means it."

Sam looked back at Adam and sighed, shaking his head, "You don't know what he'll do."

Adam nodded, "Yeah, I got a pretty good idea." Adam told him as chocolate hued orbs searched Sam's face.

Sam hung his head and licked his lips.

Slowly Sam looked up, "I did forget to turn in a book when I was in fifth grade to the library in Indiana." he told Adam softly.

Adam nodded, "Looks like I'm gonna have to take you in, Mr. Winchester."

Sam gave a small nod, "Guess so."

Adam took Sam's hand in a firm gentle grip and started to lead him toward the door.

"Leave your stuff here, just take your jacket so Dean doesn't think you took off. The manager's gonna say you were arrested, let Dean think you were." Hendrickson told Sam as he followed after them.

Sam nodded, lips pressed together as he glanced at Adam.

"It's gonna be okay." Adam told him softly.

Sam nodded, "Yeah, I - I know."

*

Walking Sam to his car, Adam opened the passenger door, and waited for Sam to get in, closing it behind him before he walked around to the other side.

Hand on the door handle, Adam looked back at Victor,"I'll see you later?" he asked him, as a look passed between them, Hendrickson knowing Adam wouldn't be returning to the station but going home.

Victor nodded to his partner, a small smile pulling at his lips. "Yeah, you, uh, do what you need to." he glanced toward Adam's car, before his dark brown eyes met Adam's light brown once again.

Adam smiled at him, nodding. "Thanks." he told Hendrickson as he tugged open the car door, sliding behind the wheel.

Looking over at Sam, Adam offered him a smile as he reached over to give Sam's hand a small squeeze, before reaching for the gear shift and pulling the car out onto the road.

The drive was silent for a long while before Adam glanced over at Sam, "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Sam looked over at Adam as he nibbled at his bottom lip nervously, brows raised, "Hmm?"

Adam sighed softly as he shifted gears and glanced in the rear view to change lanes, before glancing over at Sam again, "Are you going to tell me what happened that morning after I left you?"

Sam frowned, turning his head to look out the side window, "I'd rather not." he replied softly.

Adam nodded as he reached a hand over again, taking Sam's hand in his, thumb running back and forth across Sam's knuckles. 

Sam slowly turned his head, looking down at their joined hands, his fingers curling around Adam's hand.

"It just... it was horrible," Sam told him, turning to look back out the side window, "I'd rather not think about it."

Adam tightened his grip on Sam's hand slightly, "It's okay, sweetling. That's not never gonna happen again." 

Adam glanced over at Sam as he looked at Adam.

Adam offered him a small smile before he squeezed Sam's hand, pulling his away to place it on the steering wheel as he turned the car onto the street leading to his house.

Sam hung his head, "I - I just don't want to hurt anymore."

Pulling into his driveway, Adam parked the car, turning off the engine and turned in his seat to face Sam more as he reached out., hooking a finger under Sam's chin.

Adam shook his head, "You won't. I won't let him hurt you anymore."

Sam smiled softly, Adam returning his smile before leaning in and brushing his lips across Sam's briefly.

Pulling back Adam smiled a little wider, "Come on, let's go in."

*

Sam was silent as he walked into Adam's house, standing with his head bowed just inside the door as Adam shrugged off his FBI jacket and hung it up.

Glancing back at Sam, Adam reached out to grip his bicep gently, "Hey, sweetheart, it's okay." he stepped back behind Sam and reached for each side of his jacket, "Here, let me take this."

Sam let Adam slip his jacket off, hanging it up on one of the hooks on the wall next to them.

Adam smiled at Sam, placing a hand in the center of his back, "Feel a little better? Make yourself at home," Adam told him before walking past him further into the house, "can I get you a soda? Something to eat? Coffee?" Adam made a face at the last offer and Sam smiled slightly, shaking his head.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks." Sam told him softly, taking a couple steps into the house.

Adam sighed and nodded as he stood looking at Sam, who remained standing with his head bowed, nervously biting his bottom lip.

Adam pressed his lips together and tilted his head to the side. 

Why was this so much more awkward than it had been the first night?

Maybe because Sam might stay? Or because you're afraid he won't?

"What, uh, what would you normally be doing about this time?" Adam asked.

Sam looked up, "Um, probably a shower."

Adam nodded, offering a smile as he turned waving a hand for Sam to follow him, "Well, come on and I'll show you the upstairs and where you can do that then."

Sam followed Adam up the stairs, taking in the pictures lining the stairwell of people and places, some of them Adam, others obviously relatives.

At the top of the stairs, Adam stepped to the side to wait for Sam to step up beside him.

"This way, sweetling." Adam told him, placing a hand on Sam's back and leading him down the long hall.

To the left of the stairs, they stepped into a large bedroom that, as Adam flicked on the fan light above the bed, Sam saw was painted in a soft shade of yellow, the furniture a crisp white. 

Past the door way there were two doors, the first, Adam walked past, the second he pushed the door to open and reached in, flipping on the light switch revealing a large master bath, complete with a two head shower and sunken tub.

"This is my bathroom, the one in the hall is smaller, so you can use this one," Adam told him, "Um," he stepped back, walking over to the first closed door they had passed which he opened.

It was a large walk in closet, that Adam went in to, coming back out with a pair of Navy blue sweat pants in hand.

"You're a little taller than me, but otherwise, I think these should fit you." Adam told Sam as he offered them to him.

"Towels are in the linen closet in the bathroom, just grab one." Adam told him.

Sam nodded as he listened, taking the sweats and offering Adam a soft smile, "Thanks." he told him softly.

Adam smiled and nodded, "Of course." he stepped up to Sam, leaning in to drop a quick chaste kiss on Sam's cheek.

"If you need anything else, just let me know." Adam told him.

Sam nodded and started to pull his tee up to pull it over his head, but stopped, frowning as he thought about the scar on his stomach.

Adam's gaze had dropped to the small amount of exposed skin before Sam pulled his shirt back down, his gaze landing on the pink scar that he hadn't noticed there before.

Frowning, he stepped closer to Sam, reaching out to take hold of the hem of Sam's shirt.

"What was that?" Adam asked him, as he started to lift the material.

Sam caught Adam's wrist, lips pressed in a thin line, "Don't. Please."

Adam frowned as he looked into Sam's face, chocolate brown orbs searching champagne hazel. "Sam?"

Sam shook his head, "Please, I - I don't want you to see."

That made Adam start to panic a little.

"Sam, let me see it, please, sweetling." Adam asked him, pushing up slightly on his tee.

Sam bit his lip, "Adam, I -"

Adam didn't give up, pushing up on the hem of Sam's tee, pushing the material out of the way, before he tore his gaze away from Sam's to look down.

An audible gasp left Adam, his eyes widening as he looked down at the bright pink 'D' obviously carved into the tender flesh of Sam's stomach.

Adam knew that hadn't been there the last time Sam was over.

"Oh my God," the words left Adam in whispered breath. before his gaze rose to meet Sam's tortured one.

"Sweetling, when -?" Adam shook his head, jaw clenched, muscle twitching, "this happened after you came to see me, because you came to see me, didn't it?"

Sam nodded, as he turned his head, hanging it, refusing to meet Adam's gaze.

"That bastard." Adam muttered softly as he looked back down, one hand moving to lay flat against Sam's stomach, against the scar, the fingers of that hand moving slowly over the upper arch of the 'D'. 

Adam raised his eyes to Sam's face, "Sam, look at me."

Sam bit his lip, eyes closing slowly as he shook his head.

"Sam," Adam spoke his name softly, pulling his hands from Sam's stomach and shirt to grasp each side of Sam's head, gently but firmly forcing Sam to turn his head toward him.

Adam leaned in, brushing his lips across Sam's. "Never again, sweetling. He's never gonna hurt you again." Adam told him softly.

Sam wrapped his arms around Adam, biting his lip as Adam pulled his head back, "Don't let go? Please.?" Sam asked him softly, a sad tortured look on his face, heart aching. Afraid Adam would hate him, find him disgusting, not want him anymore.

Adam sighed softly, a sound like an 'aww' leaving him as he pulled Sam in, wrapping his arms around him, before Adam slanted his mouth over Sam's kissing him softly, tongue darting out to lick along Sam's bottom lip before gently pressing against them seeking entrance.

Sam's lips parted, Adam's tongue darting inside to map out his mouth, running over the roof of his mouth, tangling with Sam's. 

Sam moaned into Adam's mouth as Adam's grip tightened around him, head sliding from side to side, kissing Sam harder, with more passion, one hand sliding down Sam's back to cup his ass, pressing Sam against him a low moan sounding deep in Adam's throat.

Ending the kiss, Adam gently nipped at Sam's bottom lip, lowered his head and nuzzled his neck. "Oh sweetling, you taste so good." he kissed Sam's neck softly, pulling his head up to look into slightly slanted hazel eyes.

"You have no idea how much you turn me on." Adam told him softly.

Those words, so like Dean's, so much like what would be said to him before Dean shoved him down and plowed into him without thought, without care.

Sam froze, body stiffening as he looked into chocolate brown orbs. "I -"

Adam didn't miss the way Sam's body stiffened, the change in his expression or the way he seemed to shift his weight nervously.

Adam pressed his lips together and nodded, "I'll let you get your shower." he told Sam softly, leaning in to drop a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Adam wasn't sure what had happened, but apparently he had done something wrong, something that had pressed a button in Sam and he didn't want to do that to him. If they ever went beyond kissing, Adam wanted it to be because Sam wanted it too.

Stepping back, Adam smiled at him, "Yell if you need me, sweetling." he told Sam before turning and walking out of the room.

Sam was shocked when Adam walked out of the room, staring after him for a few moments before moving into the bathroom to undress and take his shower.

Stepping out of the shower, Sam toweled off and grabbed the sweats Adam loaned him,. pulling them on without boxers.

Maybe Adam wouldn't mind if he did his laundry so he could have clean clothes the next day to wear.

Sam bit his lip as he stood staring at his tee.

Adam hadn't given him a shirt to wear and where that use to wouldn't have bothered Sam, as he looked down at the 'D' shaped scar on his stomach now, he covered it with one hand, feeling rather self-conscious about going shirtless.

Grabbing his tee to hold against his stomach, Sam stepped out of the bathroom, sweats on, hair still dipping.

"Adam!" Sam called as he opened the bedroom door that had been pulled to and stuck his head out, calling Adam's name again.

Adam had went down stairs, taking off his shoes and outer shirt he sat on the sofa trying to busy himself playing video games only to be killed in the first round over and over again because he couldn't think. couldn't concentrate on the game.

Hearing his name called, Adam paused the game and tossed the remote heading for the stairs.

"Yeah, Sam?" he called back as he ascended the stairs swiftly, walking down the hall toward his bedroom and the master bath.

Sam stood at the door, half hiding behind it, head poking out.

"Um, do you have a shirt I can borrow?" Sam asked him.

Adam nodded, "Oh right, yeah." he pushed the door open with one hand as Sam stepped back.

Adam didn't miss the way Sam was covering his stomach with his tee as he entered the bedroom.

Going to the closet, Adam grabbed a tee and walked back out, it was a soft baby blue one with a V-neck and handed it to Sam.

"This do alright?" Adam asked him.

Sam nodded as he took the tee in his free hand, "yeah, thanks."

Sam started to turn to walk back into the bathroom, but Adam caught his wrist, holding him in place.

"Sam," Adam said his name softly as he took a step closer, reaching out with his free hand to grasp the tee in front of Sam's belly.

"You don't have to hide this from me, Sam, it's okay." Adam told him softly, gently pulling Sam's hand and the tee away from his stomach.

"Yeah, but," Sam started, only to have Adam step up to him, so close that there was no room for the tee or his hand anymore.

"But, what?" Adam asked him, tilting his head to the side, "You're beautiful, perfect," Adam shook his head, "I don't care about some scar on your stomach."

Sam licked his lips looking away, "But it's his name., I -"

Adam shook his head, "No it isn't, it's a 'D', it's not a name, it's a letter, Sam. To me it just means delicious, delectable, divine," Adam leaned in to press a soft kiss to the side of Sam's lips. "Stop worrying so much, sweetling."

Sam drew in a shuddering breath, "I don't want you to think bad of me, I, he, we -" Sam looked into Adam's face, hazel searching brown, as Sam shook his head.

"You have no idea." Sam told him softly.

Adam nodded, "No, you're right I don't, and it's probably better that way so that I don't leave here and go kill the bastard for hurting you, but," Adam pressed his lips together and sighed, "you're safe now, you're with me. You can stay here as long as you want to, Sam." Adam leaned in forehead against Sam's as Adam closed his eyes.

"I don't want you to go back there." Adam told him softly.

Sam took in another shuddering breath as he swallowed back the lump in his throat, "I don't wanna go back."

Adam lifted his head to look into Sam's eyes a moment before he slanted his mouth over Sam's kissing him passionately, arms wrapping around Sam to press him closer.

Sam forgot about the shirt, the fabric falling to the floor as Sam wrapped his arms around Adam, kissing him back and giving as good as he got.

Low moans broke from each of their throats only to be swallowed up in the kiss as Adam slowly walked Sam backward toward the bed.

The back of Sam's calves hit the side of the bed and he tried to stagger forward, only to bump Adam and stagger backward instead, his grip tightening around Adam's body bringing him down across the bed with him.

Adam tore his lips away from Sam's as they hit the mattress, to look into Sam's face.

"You okay?" Adam panted out, having noticed how Sam had seemed to not want to go to the bed.

Sam licked his lips, his own breath coming faster, heavier. He nodded, "Mmm, yeah, just, I -" he bit his lip and shook his head.

Adam unwrapped an arm from around Sam to cup his cheek, "It's okay, Sam, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Adam told him softly.

Sam gave a small nod, "Just don't, don't let go."

Adam smiled softly as he shook his head, "Never." he told Sam, leaning in and lowering his head to kiss Sam's neck.

Sam closed his eyes lips parted, breaths panting softly out as he held tightly onto Adam.

Adam kissed a path up and down Sam's neck, across his jaw to the corner of his lips where his tongue teased Sam's before he drew back looking down at Sam.

"Can we move more onto the bed?" Adam shook his head, "we don't have to do anything else but kiss, just let me lay with you."

Sam nodded, "Okay." he agreed, moving over to lay length ways.

Adam moved to lay next to Sam, turning onto his side, he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in to kiss Sam's throat once more, up to his jaw then his lips softly.

Adam's hand moved from Sam's back to run down the bare flesh of his side to the waistband of his sweats then back up again, then around to Sam's chest.

How long had it been since someone had touched him like this? Sam couldn't even remember. 

Madison had, but that was over two years ago and that had been different. Madison was a woman and Sam had taken the lead. 

When was the last time Dean had done something like this? Something that felt this good? Made Sam feel this wanted, needed? He couldn't remember the last time Dean had touched him in any way that didn't involve pain. That wasn't purely for Dean's pleasure. 

Sam's eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted as he arched his head back, breaths softly panting out.

"Mmm, feels so good." Sam muttered softly, licking his lips and swallowing.

Adam glanced up at Sam's face over his brows before pressing him back against the pillows and began to kiss a path down Sam's neck to his collarbone, gently nipping flesh and sucking skin into his mouth.

Sam bit his lip a low moan working out from deep in his throat. 

Although one of Sam's arms that hand been wrapped around Adam had fallen away onto the bed as he was rolled onto his back, the other remained and now digits dug into the tender flesh of Adam's back through his thin white tee as Sam held tighter.

Adam still lay on the bed next to Sam, one arm around him, hand tucked under Sam between his back and the mattress, forearm of the other, Adam now used to hold himself up, pressed against the bed next to Sam's body as he leaned his head down, lips against Sam's skin.

"Mmm, 'Sweets' is a good name for you, you taste sweet, like caramel." Adam murmured against Sam's skin.

Sam smiled, chuckled out a breath, "Caramel?"

Adam gave a one shouldered half shrug as he continued to kiss down Sam's body, making his way to a nipple, running his tongue slowly over it. "What, you don't like caramel?" Adam mumbled out the question with soft mock modification.

Sam shuddered as Adam's tongue licked across his nipple, hot breath fanning it causing the sensitive nub to harden.

Sam licked his lips, frowning as he tried to think coherently,"No, um, caramel's good."

Adam chuckled softly, nodding, "Caramel's very good." he mumbled softly, leaning his head down to suck Sam's hard nipple into his mouth, nipping softly at the hard nub.

Sam gasped, back arching into the touch, the feel of Adam's tongue, his teeth, the suction of his hot mouth.

Adam rubbed his lips across the hard nub before slowly kissing his way over to it's twin and doing the same to it, running his tongue over the sensitive nub, breath fanning it softly then taking the nub into his mouth to suck and nip gently.

Sam gasped, hand on Adam's back tightening into a fist, gathering the material of his tee in a white knuckled grip.

"Adam," his name a whispered plea tore from Sam's throat.

Adam slowly pulled his head back, gaze darting up to Sam's face as Sam tugged up on his tee.

"What's wrong, sweetling?" Adam asked softly.

Sam's head rolled, eyes still closed as he licked his lips, "Mmm, shirt... take it off... please..."

Adam smiled slightly, softly, "Okay, sweets."

Adam pulled his arm out from around Sam, from under his back as he drew away slightly, reaching for the back of his shirt to tug it up and over his head.

Sam opened his eyes, turning slightly, as he reached with the arm that had fallen onto the mattress to help Adam pull off his tee. And together they tossed it onto the floor.

"Better?' Adam asked him, as he wrapped his arm back around Sam, drawing him close once more.

Sam nodded, biting his lip. Hand resting against his own chest as he gazed into Adam's eyes before slowly allowing them to roam downward, taking in Adam's broad shoulders, sculpted chest and firm abs that tampered down to a trim waist, "You're beautiful," he murmured adoringly.

Adam smiled and glanced up at the lights then back down at Sam, "Must be the lighting reflecting your beauty onto me."

Sam chuckled as he rolled his head on the pillows, "That was lame."

Adam chuckled as he shrugged a shoulder, "Aw, come on, give a guy a break, I tried," he murmured and leaned in, slanting his mouth over Sam with a soft low moan. 

By the time that Adam drew his mouth away from Sam's they were both breathing heavily. They searched one another’s faces a moment in silence while they gulped in breaths. Then, as though he couldn’t get enough, Adam leaned in again, this time simply brushing his lips tenderly across Sam's jaw before gradually working his way down to Sam's neck.

"Mmm, anyone ever told you you have like thee hottest neck?" Adam inquired softly, lips brushing against the sensitive skin of Sam's throat as he spoke though the words were quite muffled against the very same skin.

Sam shook his head slightly, "N-n-no," breathed, a low soft moan breaking from his throat as he arched his neck back, pressing into the touch of Adam's mouth, "No one."

Adam made a scoffing sound, "There are those stupid people again." he grumbled against Sam's neck, a smile in his voice causing Sam to smile slightly.

Adam sucked the skin of Sam's neck into his mouth, tongue flicking over it, sucking the tender flesh hard enough to bruise before releasing and moving slowly down. 

Sam moaned softly, digits of one hand tangling in the back of Adam's unruly blond locks, lips parted, breaths panting out.

Adam make his way to Sam's collar bone which Adam bit softly as he moved more of his body onto Sam's, one leg slung over Sam's two.

Making his way lower, Adam turned his attention back to Sam's nipples as he had earlier, licking and sucking, nipping softly at the hard buds.

Body shifting, Adam's arousal rubbed against Sam's making Sam bite his lip, as Adam groaned softly, pivoting his hips to grind their cocks together through the material of their pants.

Sam's body jerked as he shifted, pulling his lower body away from Adam's.

Adam lifted his head looking up into Sam's face, "What's the matter, sweetling?" he asked softly.

Dark lashes fluttered as Sam opened his eyes, looking up into Adam's face. He shook his head, "Nothin', I - " he swallowed, licked his lips, "sorry."

Sam's gaze dropped away from Adam's as he worried his bottom lip, hand in Adam's hair loosening it's grasp.

Adam frowned slightly at the obvious change in Sam as he reached up, finger hooking under Sam's chin to lift his head, making Sam's gaze meet his.

"Look at me, sweetling." Adam told him softly.

Sam glanced up at him, tearing his gaze away once more, not wanting to make Adam angry, not wanting to complain.

Adam didn't give up, shifting his hand, digit moving away from Sam's chin as he gently cupped the side of Sam's face and jaw, "No, sweetling, look at me."

Hazel met brown and Sam shook his head, "I'm sorry, it's okay."

Adam shook his head, "No, it isn't. What's wrong, tell me." he told him softly. How can I fix it if you won't tell me?

Sam sighed softly before licking his lips, "I, when Dean got angry because I came to see you, we, he," Sam bit his lip and closed his eyes unable to look at Adam in his shame.

"Dean hurt me, my dick, it's just tender," Sam shook his head, eyes still closed, "I wasn't ready, I-" Sam opened his eyes, looking up at Adam once more, "you just caught me off guard."

Liar, you think he's gonna do what Dean does. No, I know Adam won't, he's nothing like Dean. Yeah, you say that now, but that's what you're worried about admit it.

Sam turned his head as he tore his gaze away from Adam's, "I'm sorry." he repeated softly.

Adam listened to Sam, anger that Dean, Sam's own fucking brother could do this to him, hurt him like this, abuse him the way that he did, running hot like boiling lava through Adam's veins.

Jaw clenched tight, muscle twitching, Adam lowered his gaze as Sam tore his away and cleared his throat.

"I'm the one who's sorry, sweetling. I'll be more careful." Adam told him softly as one hand moved to run gently over Sam's tightly sculpted abs, and down to the low slung waistband of the sweats, cupping his hip, index and middle finger dipping under the band.

"Do you want to stop, sweets?" Adam asked softly.

Sam's head rolled back on the pillows, looking up at Adam, he shook his head, "N- no, it's okay. I want to do this, it, you make me feel good."

Adam smiled softly, "Okay, but if it hurts you to be hard, tell me, I don't want to cause you pain, sweets."

Sam nodded as he licked his lips, "Okay, I will, I - it's okay."

Adam lowered his head once more continuing to kiss a trail down Sam's body, across his chest, to his stomach, licking and sucking the tender flesh, down to the raw, dark pink angry looking scar that marred Sam's Sam's perfect flesh.

Sam's body jerked as one hand moved to quickly cover the scar a soft sound of protest working out of Sam's throat.

Adam caught Sam's hand in his, kissing Sam's knuckles softly.

"Shshsh, it's okay." Adam told him softly as he moved Sam's hand out of the way, still holding it within his own against the mattress.

Adam's lips brushed over the scar softly as he trailed soft open mouthed kisses along the tender flesh.

"Delicious," Adam whispered softly, as he glanced up at Sam from under his brows before lowering it again, continuing to kiss Sam's flesh, "decadent," he added, dropping another kiss, "divine," followed by yet another brush of lips, "delectable." 

Sam's eyes closed slowly a soft sigh escaping him, lips parted as he relaxed slightly though his heart hammered against his chest. 

The fear that he might do something to anger Adam and make this another painful memory, another horrible encounter never far away.

Sam's hand on the mattress moved, slipping his hand and Adam's together more, as he lanced their fingers.

Adam's hand that had been cupping Sam's hip moved, sliding over to slip under the waistband of the sweats, cupping Sam's hard cock gently, thumb sliding up and down his length.

Adam lifted his head, looking up at Sam's slightly flushed face, lips parted his breaths panting out as he lay with his eyes still closed.

Lowering his head slightly, Adam brought their joined hands up to his lips, dropping a soft kiss to the back of Sam's knuckles before slipping their fingers apart and pulling his hand away as he sat up on his knees, his other hand slipping out of Sam's sweats.

Sam's eyes opened, chocolate brown and champagne hazel met and clashed as they gazed at one another.

Adam moved one hand, tucking the fingertip of an index finger into the waistband of Sam's sweats at his hip, "Can I pull these down, sweets?" Adam asked softly.

Sam's hand moved immediately the waistband of his sweats, pausing a moment before he slowly pulled it away. "O - okay," Sam answered softly.

This is it, just like Dean. Sam swallowed back emotions that threatened to choke him.

Adam started to slowly pull Sam's sweats down, his gaze intent on Sam's face, gaging his reactions, wanting to be sure Sam was alright. 

Sam started to roll onto his side, knowing it would be what Dean would want, expect, demand.

"It's okay, sweetling." Adam told Sam softly.

Sam looked back over his shoulder at Adam, tears stinging his eyes, straight white teeth chewing at his bottom lip.

How could this be okay?

The look on Sam's face and the tears that glistened in Sam's eyes were like a punch to the stomach for Adam nearly knocking the wind from his lungs.

Adam quickly shook his head, as he placed his hand on Sam's hip bone, pulling him back over onto his back.

"No sweetling, no." Adam told him, his words choked, soft, heartbroken.

"Not like that, I -" Adam sighed softly as he looked into Sam's wary eyes, "I want to see you, touch you, make you feel good. Trust me," Adam shook his head as he ran the hand that had gripped Sam's hip up to his stomach rubbing soothing circles against Sam's flesh, "I'd never hurt you."

Sam swallowed as he bit his lip, hand raising to run the back of a finger down Adam's cheek.

Same single digit turning to trace along Adam's bottom lip as their gazes locked and held, Adam's lips parted as he drew Sam's fingertip into his mouth, sucking softly.

The corner of Sam's lips twitched upward into an almost smile, "Okay."

Adam swirled his tongue around the end of Sam's finger before releasing it and shaking his head slightly, "No, sweets, not 'okay', I need to hear you say 'yes'."

Sam's eyes fluttered closed as his hand dropped back down, "Yes," he answered softly.

Adam leaned down as his hands returned to the waistband of Sam's sweats, thumbs tucked just under the band, he brushed his lips across Sam softly, smiling against his lips. "Delightful." he whispered.

Sam chuckled softly, eyes still closed, "You're gonna run out of 'D' words."

Adam chuckled against Sam's lips before slowly drawing away, pulling the sweats down Sam's body revealing Sam's hard cock standing erect and arching upward toward his stomach.

Slipping the sweats down farther as Adam moved back on his knees, he turned at the waist, pulling them down and off Sam's body, tossing them to the floor.

Adam's gaze returned to Sam's cock as he turned back and sucked in a breath shaking his head. "Damn..." he whispered softly, glancing up at Sam's face, "still a 'D' word." he added with a small smile.

Sam's eyes remained closed as he smiled at Adam's words. 

Sam had to fight the want to cover himself with a hand, to hide the bruises he knew were there from Adam's eyes, instead gripping the sheets in his hands as he rolled his head to the side, licking his lips.

Small fingertip bruises marred the flesh of Sam's cock, bruises that made Adam want to go hunt down a damn abusive bastard he knew and suddenly become a bit trigger happy.

Adam moved, spreading Sam's legs apart as he knelt between them and leaned down, running his tongue up the underside of Sam's cock from base to tip. 

Sam gasped in a breath, body jerking, stomach muscles tightened and rippled at the sensation a softly whimpered moan leaving him.

Adam glanced up at Sam's face from under his brows a small smile pulling at his lips before closing his eyes and reaching for Sam's shaft, gently grasping him, careful not to press on any of the bruising and swirled his tongue around the crown, dipping into the slit.

Sam's lips parted in a moaned gasp, head rolling as his hips bucked, hands grasping the sheets tighter.

Adam licked down the side of Sam's shaft, hand sliding away as he moved to lay on his stomach between Sam's spread legs, Adam dipped his head taking one of Sam's ball into his mouth.

Sam's neck arch back, lips parted breaths panting out a loud gasp leaving him, hands in twisting the sheets in a white knuckled grasp. "Oh, God..." he sucked in a breath, pressing his lips together, nostrils flared, head rolling, "Adam..."

How long had it been since someone had done this to him, had touched Sam like this, licked or sucked his cock? Since Madison, since the first time with Dean? 

Sam couldn't even remember, for so long his only pleasure had been from his own fisted hand and never had someone sucked his balls.

Sam's cock twitched and pulsed in response.

Releasing the sheets with one hand, Sam reached for his cock to pump himself, only to have Adam bat his hand away gently, as he reached up and started to pump Sam's cock slowly before releasing his ball and lifting his head, taking Sam's cock deep into his mouth and humming around his length.

Sam moved his hand back to grasp the sheets once more, only to gasp in another breath, lips parted, neck arching as he moaned.

Licking his lips, Sam lowered his head, lashes fluttering as he opened his eyes to mere passion glazed slits as he watched Adam suck his cock, one hand moving from the sheet to the back of Adam's head, digits tangling in the disheveled silken strands.

"Oh God, baby..."

Adam pulled his head back, licking a around the crown of Sam's cock, then taking him deep again until the head of his cock hit the back of his throat. 

Adam swallowed against his cock, letting him feel the his throat work.

Sam gasped, head rolling, as his eyes closed, his hand slipping from Adam's head to fall back against the sheets once more.

Low moans and mews worked out of Sam as Adam continued to work his cock with his mouth and hand.

Sam's breaths panted out, his chest rising and falling with each one.

It didn't take too long before Sam was writhing, thrashing under the ministrations of Adam's skillful hand and mouth, hips thrusting upward moving his cock into Adam's mouth and hand as heat rushed through him to pool low in his belly.

"Adam... please..." Sam's head thrashed on the pillows, sheets twisted in his white knuckled grip, muscles clenched, chest and face stained a soft crimson.

Sam's neck arched back, hips thrusting his cock harder into Adam's fist and mouth, lips parted. "Please, please... Oh God... "

Adam moved his mouth faster, sucking Sam's cock harder, tongue flicking against the underside, his hand pumping him in time with Sam's thrusting hips, his free hand caressing Sam's stomach, his hip, thigh, running up to lightly cup his balls.

Sam panted harder, balls drawing up painfully tight, his muscles clenching, neck arching back, face stained a deep crimson as he grit his teeth, hands in tight fists, squeezing the sheets trembled, muscles bulging.

Sam growled between gritted teeth, "Please.... stop.... Adam.... I can't hold it..... anymore....." Sam's head jerked to the side, eyes squeezed tightly shut, teeth gritted together again, breaths panting out between his teeth, lips parted.

Adam slowly pulled his head up as he looked up at Sam's face under his brows.

Adam pulled Sam's flushed cock from between his wet swollen lips as he raised his head slightly gaze fixed on Sam's face, "Cum, sweetling." Adam whispered just before he lowered his head again, taking Sam deep into his mouth.

Sam's hips thrust his cock deeper into Adam's mouth, cock pulsing. 

Sam's lips parted, a cry of pleasure leaving him, eyes opening wide as he came, hot spunk spilling down Adam's throat.

Adam drank down ever drop that Sam gave him, moaning softly as he did, milking Sam until he was spent, not pulling his mouth from him until Sam was trembling and jerking, cock to sensitive for the sensations.

Letting Sam's now flaccid cock fall from his swollen lips, Adam crawled up Sam's body to press a soft kiss at his throat before moving to lay beside him, drawing Sam into his arms.

"D-amazing" Adam muttered, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as his eyes slid to the side to look at Sam's face, his head pillowed on Adam's shoulder.

Sam gave a breathless chuckle, "Told ya," he panted, "that you'd run outta," he gulped in more air and paused long enough to lick across his parched his lips, "words."

Adam smiled and shook his head, "It's totally a word," he retorted playfully.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> The Fanfiction was written for Livejournal's community's “Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester” Challenge.

Sam lay with his eyes closed, head pillowed on Adam's shoulder, one arm around him, one up on the pillows next to his head, sleepily nuzzling Adam's neck as Adam held him tightly, hand running slowly up and down Sam's back.

Sam slowly pulled back, his hand sliding down to cup Adam's arousal as he started to pull up to his knees.

Adam opened his eyes to look up at Sam, brow quirked. "Sam?"

Sam pressed his lips together before glancing downward toward his hand cupping Adam's erection through his dress slacks.

"I'll do you now," Sam mumbled, voice sleepy soft.

Adam reached up as he shook his head, gripping Sam's sides and pulling him back down.

"I'm fine, sweetling," Adam told him softly as Sam lay back down half on Adam, half next to him on his stomach, head turned to nuzzle his face against Adam's neck, much the way he had been, only this time his head on the pillow.

"This was for you," Adam told him softly, turning his head to place a soft kiss on against Sam's temple. "I'll be alright in a few minutes."

Adam reached down, his hand on his own aching arousal to readjust himself with a small groan.

Sam pressed his lips against Adam's neck, "Mmkay." he murmured against Adam's neck groggily.

The musical sounds of the front door bell chimed through the house, filling the silence.

Sam's head rose up off the pillows, eyes half open as he looked around sleepily.

Adam started to sit up, stopping to run his hand soothingly over Sam's back.

"It's alright, Sweets, just relax, it's probably just Hendrickson." Adam told him as he pulled from the bed, reaching for his tee on the floor and pulling it over his head.

"I'll be back." Adam told him softly as he turned, pulling the bedroom door the rest of the way open.

Adam flicked off the flight as he walked out the door and closed it behind.

Descending the stairs, Adam went to the front door and opened it after checking to be sure it was Hendrickson outside.

"Hey," Adam greeted with a smile as he stepped back for Hendrickson to enter.

Victors gaze roamed over his partner briefly before he shook his head, a look of distaste on his face, though a small smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

"You know, you aren't suppose to frisk the victim, Verona." Hendrickson told him.

Adam ran a hand through his hair as he looked at Hendrickson sheepishly. 

"Yeah, well, he didn't seem too upset about it." Adam mumbled as he stepped forward to close and lock the door.

Hendrickson gave a small chuckle. "Where is our boy?"

Adam glanced toward the stairs, "Upstairs, resting."

Hendrickson huffed and shook his head, "I don't think I want to know." he mumbled.

Adam looked over at him as he turned and started to walk past him, a wide smile on his face. "No, probably not." he agreed, "Come on, we can talk in here." 

Adam led Hendrickson into the living room and took a seat on the arm of the couch, "Have a seat." he told him, noticing for the first time the folder Hendrickson was holding in a hand.

"You got something more on the perp?" Adam asked, quirking a brow as he nodded toward the folder Victor held.

Hendrickson sat down on the sofa, laying the folder on the coffee table in front of him and flipping it open as he sat forward, "More? No. Enough to put Dean Winchester away for a very long fucking time? Hell yeah," he looked over at Adam, "And if we're lucky, we can get that sick fuck the death penalty."

Adam frowned, "How's that, the murders you had on him before were iffy at best, how can we -?"

Hendrickson shook his head, "Not the murders from then, I'm talkin' about the death of Ronald Resnick and this teller named Cherry -"

"There were more?" Adam asked him, sliding down the arm of the sofa to sit closer to the folder, looking at the papers.

"Seems our boy Dean's a mean fucker by nature with the torture and murder wraps he's leaving a trail of, not to mention draggin' your boy around with him from cheap motel to cheap motel." 

Hendrickson slid a sheet of paper toward Adam to look at, " Dean has a history of credit card fraud, theft, grave desecration, and that's just on his good days." Hendrickson shook his head, "this guy has one too many screws loose. It's no wonder he's beating the dog shit outta his brother."

Adam glanced up at Hendrickson, "And raping him," he shrugged a shoulder as he looked back down at the papers before him, "sexual abuse anyway."

Hendrickson frowned as he shook his head, "I wanna see that bastard on death row, Adam. I want this. Maybe more than you do."

* * *   
[Sundance Inn]  
10:30 PM

Dean hadn't been able to concentrate on those around him enough to make his night out worth while, not even when the tall guy with dark shaggy hair and his girl friend had asked him if he had wanted to be the third in their sex games that night, Dean had only been half into the kisses and touches they had started in a darkened corner of the bar, his mind on his baby brother who had been in such a tizzy when he'd left.

Not that Dean knew why Sam's girlish moods were bothering him tonight, but for some reason they were. Maybe it was due to his talking about wanting to be held and loved so much all the time since he'd been with that damn cop. Or maybe it was fear that Sam would take off again, even after the threats and Dean beating the shit out of him for going. Maybe it was the thought that Sam might actually think someone else would, could love him.

Whatever the reason, Dean had excused himself, telling the hot guy and his equally hot girl that he was going to have to bow out and left the bar hella early and returned to the motel.

Hell, maybe spending some 'quality' time with Sam wouldn't be so bad, he could do the chick-flick thing for Sam for a little while, right? It wouldn't kill him, and then he could roll that shit over and pound into him until he was so fuckin spent he wouldn't have to think about how damn girlie the evening had been.

Walking up to the motel room door, Dean unlocked it and walked in.

"Sam?" he called out as he looked around the room.

Sam's stuff was still sitting in the same place it had been, laptop still in it's case. Looking over toward Sam's bed, he saw the rumpled bedspread and the remote laying on top of the covers.

Sam had at one point been watching TV it seemed.

"Sammy!?" Dean called, voice a tad louder as he walked toward the open door of the bathroom.

The door was open and the light off, but it was the only other place Dean could think to look, the room being obviously empty.

It wasn't like a kid the size of Sam could hide in a small motel room all that well.

Dean walked to the bathroom and flicked on the light. The shower was dry, the towels all folded as though no one had been in the room at all. Nothing out of place.

"SAMMY!" Dean yelled as he turned around from the bathroom, finding nothing there either.

Dean stormed to and out the door, slamming it closed behind him.

Sonuvabitch!

Dean stood outside the door, jade eyes blazing, fuming in anger as he tried to think where Sam could have gone.

Movement to his left at the managers office caught Dean's attention and he turned heading that way.

Walking into the lobby of the motel Dean stood at the desk, waiting for the manager to walk over.

"Can I help you?" the man asked Dean.

"Yeah, I was just wonderin' if you've seen my brother," he flashed a charming smile, "Kid's always gettin' himself in all sorts a trouble." Dean shook his head, "We're in room 24, right down -"

"Oh, yeah, I saw where he went." the manager nodded, interrupting Dean.

Dean shifted his weight, brows lifted as he waited for the manager to tell him, then realized that the man was waiting for cash in exchange for information.

Dean huffed and reached back into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and tossed down a twenty.

"Police came and picked him up a couple hours ago." the manager told him as he snatched up Dean's money.

"Police?" Dean frowned, "Sam was arrested? Or did he go willingly?"

Again there was no answer as the man just stared at Dean.

The muscle in Dean's jaw twitched as he tossed down another twenty.

"Arrested. A couple hours ago. Couple of squad cars came and picked him up." the man answered.

"Sonuva..." Dean growled out, gritting his teeth.

"Thanks." Dean bit the words out as he turned and stormed out the door, heading to the Impala.

Now what the fuck was he gonna do?

* * *

Dean pulled the Impala up in front of the police station, parking and pulling from the car.

Walking inside, Dean walked up to the desk, waiting as the woman behind it, a rather large woman with a round face and flushed cheeks, looking a lot like someones fairy godmother if it weren't for the police uniform she wore, her hair a bright shade of red, pulled into a bun on top of her head.

"Can I help you, son?" she asked as she walked over to him, leaning her weighty forearms on the counter, looking up at him with small almond shaped slanted green eyes.

"Uh, yeah, I was, um, looking for Adam." Dean looked around nervously, "it's kind of important."

The woman behind the counter, her name tag read, Heidi Delaney frowned at him, shaking her head. "Ooh, Adam's not here, he left hours ago. Is there somethin' that maybe someone else can help you with?"

Dean sighed and shook his head, "No, I was really needing to speak with Adam, just Adam."

Heidi tilted her head to the side, "Lemme see if his partner Victor is still here, I'll be right back, baby, you just wait right here." she told him kindly, nodding before she turned and walked away down a long hallway and disappeared around a corner.

Dean shifted his weight looking around.

Seeing a camera, he quickly looked away from it, drumming his fingers on the counter, relieved to see the woman heading back his way.

"I'm sorry, baby, Victor left just a little while ago." she narrowed her already too small eyes at him, "What's your last name, baby, I can leave a note for Adam and maybe he can get back to you in the morning.."

Dean chewed his bottom lip, "Mm, Winchester, I -"

She smiled wide, "Are you Adam's Sam?" she asked him.

Dean's eyes started to narrow, anger surging through him before he caught it and fought it back, "Uh, yeah, that's me, Sam Winchester." he licked his lips, "I - I really need to talk to Adam,,"

Heidi nodded, "This about your brother Dean? He hittin' you again, baby?"

Dean grit his teeth.

Not tellin' anything about me, huh, Sam?

"Uh, yeah..." Dean shifted his weight, playing the part of someone nervous and afraid.

"Don't you have Adam's number, baby? I thought you two talked? she asked him softly, reaching out to place one meaty hand over his.

Dean clenched his free hand into a tight fist, knuckles turning white as he fought back his anger.

"Uh, yeah, but I only have his cell, and he's not answering." Dean told her, hanging his head, muscle twitching in his jaw as he grit and ground his teeth.

Heidi sighed, lips pressed together, "Well, we aren't suppose to do this, but since you are Adam's Sam, I don't think he would mind." she told him.

Dean looked up as the woman handed him a sheet of paper with a phone number on it.

"That's Adam's home number, baby." she nodded to the paper as Dean picked it up, looking at it.

"You give him a call, I am sure he'll keep you safe from that horrible brother of yours." Heidi told him with a soft smile.

Dean glanced up at her an almost evil smile pulling at his lips, "Thank you, Ms. Delaney, you... have no idea what you've done." he told her before leaning over the counter and dropping a soft kiss to her plump cheek.

Flashing her a charming smile as he pulled back, Dean turned and walked out of the police station.

Sliding behind the wheel of the Impala, Dean's smile was still firmly in place.

"Think you can hide from me, Sammy?" Dean mumbled as he threw the car in reverse and started backing out of the parking place.

Dean shook his head, chuckling softly.

All he needed to do was look up the information on Sam's laptop.

Won't Sam and this Adam guy be surprised when they wake up to him standing over their bed?

* * * 

Adam walked Hendrickson to the door and told him goodnight, locking the door after Victor walked out.

Hitting the buttons on the security system, Adam turned and headed up the stairs.

Walking into his darkened bedroom, Adan walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, reaching out to brush back Sam's long bangs from his forehead.

"How are you going, Sweetling?" Adam asked him softly.

Sam's lips curved into a soft smile as he lay there, eyes still closed, "M'good."

Adam smiled, "Good." he told him, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the corner of Sam's lips.

Pulling back, Adam reached for the sheets and blanket, covering Sam with them up to his waist.

"I'm going to bed," Adam whispered to him before pulling to his feet, heading for the door.

Sam lifted his head off the pillows, his eyes open to mere slits as he looked after Adam, "Stay with me... please?" Sam asked him.

Adam paused, his hand on the door knob.

Turning, he looked back toward the bed, toward Sam, his sleepy face, hair mussed, eyes mere slits.

"Are you sure?" Adam asked him softly. He shook his head, "I don't have to, I can sleep in the guest room."

Sam moved over in the bed, making room for Adam to come lay down next to him before he looked back over at him and nodded, "Yeah, come lay with me."

Adam released the door handle and walked back over to the edge of the bed, hands going to the fastenings of his dress slacks, as he unfastened his belt button and zipper before sliding them down, stepping out of them.

Sitting down on the side of the bed, Adam pulled off his socks, and reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head, tossing it on the floor with the rest of his clothes, before laying back onto the bed and slipping beneath the covers beside Sam.

Sam moved toward Adam nuzzling against him and wrapping an arm around him as he closed his eyes, lips brushing against Adam's neck.

"Everything okay?" Sam asked him, voice sleepy soft.

"Hmm? Yeah," Adam told him with a nod, as his eyes slid to Sam, "just work stuff." he said, leaning to place a kiss against Sam's temple.

"About Dean." Sam said, it wasn't a question.

Adam pressed his lips together, eyes moving to the ceiling in the darkness. "Shshsh, go back to sleep, Sweetling." he murmured softly, wrapping his arms around Sam, holding him tightly.

Sam lifted his head off the pillows, gazing down at Adam for a moment before leaning down and slanting his mouth over Adam's kissing him deeply, tongue darting between Adam's lips to tangle with his own, a small moan sounding deep in Sam's throat.

Adam's arms around Sam tightened, hands running over smooth skin as he kissed him back, one hand sliding up to tangle in Sam's soft hair at the back of his head.

Sam's lips were warm, soft, his kiss sleep sweet, as he kissed Adam, his clinging to him tightly.

Slowly ending the kiss, Sam pulled his head back just slightly, hazel eyes gazing down into brown in the darkness of the room, the moon's glow through the window offering small subtle light.

"Sam?"Adam said his name softly, as he searched Sam's face, unsure what all Sam wanted, not wanting to push nor pull back too soon.

Sam pressed his lips together as he gazed at Adam, emotions flickering across his face, "I need you," Sam told him softly, "make me forget."

Adam gazed up at Sam, chocolate searching hazel as he shook his head slightly, "Sam, I - are you sure?"

Sam nodded, "I need, want you, want you to make me forget."

Adam pulled Sam's head down gently as his lips parted in invitation, their lips crushing together passionately, tongues tangling, small moans leaving them both to be swallowed up in the kiss.

Sam's hands slid up Adam's sides to Adam's head, hands fisting in the silken strands of his hair on each side, before he rolled, puling Adam on top of him in the process.

Adam's own hand, digits tangled in Sam's hair, slid down as they rolled, hands moving to Sam's ass, slipping between Sam's body and the mattress to pull his hips upward as Adam ground his crotch down against Sam's.

Low groans sounded deep in both their throats at the feel of their cocks rubbing together through the thin material of Adam's boxer briefs.

As the kiss ended, Adam sucked Sam's bottom lip into his mouth before dipping his head to trail kisses along Sam's jawline to his neck, biting the tender flesh and sucking it into his mouth.

Sam's lips parted on a moan as his hands slid down Adam's body cupping his ass as Sam's hips thrust upward against him.

One hand slid upward to Adam's back, fingers splayed, fingertips digging into the tender flesh as he held tighter, his other hand still cupping Adam's ass cheek.

Adam lifted his head, brushing his lips across Sam's, tongue darting out to lick across his bottom lip, nipping and sucking it into his mouth as he pulled his hands out from under Sam's ass, to run up his sides, fingertips pressing into tender flesh.

Their breaths panted out into one another's mouths, fanning one another's faces, lips, as they kissed and nipped at each other.

Crushing his lips back to Sam's Adam kissed him hard, passionately, head sliding from side to side, tongues tangled, teeth knocking together.

The tip of Adam's tongue tickled the roof of Sam's mouth before sucking his tongue in, moving his mouth on Sam's tongue like he would his cock.

Sam groaned softly, hips thrusting his hard cock against Adam's.

Adam continued to suck Sam's tongue, moving his mouth up and down as he would Sam's cock, teasing him relentlessly.

Sam whimpered against Adam's lips, blood surged straight to Sam's cock making it twitch and pulse in response, hands grasping Adam tightly.

Releasing Sam's tongue, Adam flicked his own into Sam's mouth over and over, fucking his mouth with his tongue, the tip curling to flick against the roof on each thrust.

Sam's breaths quickened, as his hips bucked upward, back arching slightly before they rolled again, Sam pinning Adam against the bed with his body.

Lifting his head, Sam gazed down at Adam, his breaths panting out, fanning his face. 

Swallowing hard, Sam shook his head, a small grin pulling at the corner of his lip, "Tease." Sam accused softly, before lowering his head, slanting his mouth over Adam's once more, kissing him deeply, passionately.

Adam's hands moved to Sam's back, holding him tightly, hips bucking upward into Sam.

"Take them off," Adam panted out as the kiss broke, "my boxers, take them off me, Sam."

Sam pulled back and glanced downward, then looked back into Adam's face and nodded before he pulled up on his knees reaching for the waistband of Adam's boxer briefs.

Tucking his thumbs into the band, Sam started to slowly pull the briefs downward, his bottom lip caught between straight white teeth.

Adam watched Sam from under lowered lids, his own bottom lip sucked into his mouth as he lifted his hips to help Sam get the boxer briefs down.

Pulling them down to Adam's thighs, Sam leaned down, running his tongue up the underside of Adam's erect shaft from base to tip. 

Adam's neck arched back, lips parted as he sucked in a breath, eyes closing briefly before he opened them and lowered his head again to look back down at Sam. "Mmm, Sweet Sammy..." he breathed out softly.

Sam pulled the briefs down and off of Adam, tossing them onto the floor. 

Wrapping a hand around Adam's shaft, Sam lowered his head again to take his cock deep into his mouth.

Adam's hips bucked, a low moan leaving him as he bit his lip, hand moving to the back of Sam's head, digits tangling in the soft dark strands.

Sam pumped Adam's shaft in rhythm with the movement of his mouth along Adam's length as he hummed softly.

Adam sucked in air between his teeth as he watched Sam, his hips moving in time with Sam's movements. "Oh God, Sweetling...." he breathed out softly.

Pulling up to sitting, Adam reached for Sam's shoulders, pulling his mouth away from his cock to slant his own over Sam's kissing him deeply, slowly laying back, bringing Sam down with him.

"Want you so much," Adam told him softly, as their lips parted, yet held so close that each word made their lips brush.

Sam nodded and swallowed, "Want you too."

Adam smiled softly, hands running up and down Sam's back, "Top or bottom, Sweetling?"

Sam frowned, "Huh?"

Adam smiled up at him, "Do you want to be on top or on bottom." he clarified.

Sam shook his head as he bit his lip, glad for the darkness as it hid his blush. "I don't - I've never been on top." Sam told him softly.

Adam blinked at him in shock, "Never?"

Sam hung his head, shaking it.

Adam reached up with one hand, hooking a finger under Sam's chin, hazel met brown and held. "We'll have to fix that sometime." he told Sam softly, lifting his head just slightly to brush his lips across Sam's.

Pulling back, Adam nodded, "We'll do what you're use to tonight."

Sam nodded as he closed his eyes, swallowed hard, "Okay."

"Sam?" Adam said his name softly, waited until Sam opened his eyes and shook his head. "don't think about that, about him. It's not him, it's me."

Sam nodded slightly, "I know." he answered softly.

Sam moved off Adam and started to roll over, only to have Adam pull him close as soon as Sam rolled to his side, spooning him, his arm wrapped tightly around his middle.

"Where ya goin'?" Adam asked him, warm breath fanning over Sam's ear. 

Sam opened his mouth to answer only to close it again and shake his head suddenly feeling unsure.

Adam ran his hand in circles over Sam's chest soothingly, "Just relax." he told him softly.

Sam nodded soundlessly as he closed his eyes, letting out a breath slowly.

Dipping his head, Adam kissed Sam's shoulder softly, brushing his lips across his skin.

Lifting his head, Adam hissed Sam's neck near his earlobe. "Do you trust me?" he asked softly.

Sam's eyes opened, swallowing as he blinked into the darkness before slowly nodding his head.

"Tell me, Sam. Tell me that you trust me." Adam told him softly as he nipped at his neck.

Sam moaned softly, eyes closing, "Yeah," he nodded, "I trust you." he whispered.

Adam ran his hand over Sam's chest and down, across his stomach to his erect cock.

Sam's body jerked slightly away from his touch before relaxing back into it as Adam wrapped his hand around Sam's length, pumping him slowly.

Sam's lips parted as he groaned, hips arching his cock into Adam's hand.

Moving his body, shimmying down slightly behind Sam as he held himself up with the forearm of his other arm, Adam ran kisses down Sam's shoulder, his side and on down to his hip bone, all the while his hand slowly pumped Sam's cock.

Sam's head moved on the pillow as he lay on his side, head thrown back, lips parted, hips thrusting his cock into Adam's hand, breaths panting out.

Adam moved lower, adjusting himself toward the end of the bed, laying on his stomach, his hand leaving Sam's cock for a moment before bringing it back, between Sam's legs to wrap around Sam's rock hard shaft once more, pumping him slightly faster.

Sam started to roll onto his back, only to have Adam's other hand stop him. 

"Hold still, sweetling." Adam whispered as he positioned one of Sam's legs the way he wanted it, knee bent, foot flat on the other side of the leg that remained straights knee.

"What -?" Sam slicked his lips as his head rolled on the pillow, looking down through passion glazed slits, "what are you doing?"

Adam glanced up at him, "Trust me."

Laying on his stomach on the mattress at the foot of the bed, legs bent and crossed at the ankles so that he fit, Adam reached with his free hand to part Sam's ass cheeks with thumb and fingers, Sam's bent leg helping to make it easier, and leaned in, running his tongue around the tightly puckered hole.

Sam gasped, hand on the mattress slid to grip the edge of the bed as his back arched.

Adam's hand continued to pump Sam's cock as he ran his tongue around the sensitive area once again.

Sam's breaths panted out, hips bucking his cock into Adam's fist as his head rolled on the pillow, moans tearing from his throat.

"Oh God, Adam..." Sam gasped softly.

Adam lapped harder as he ran his tongue across his hole, hand pumping Sam's cock faster with each movement of his tongue.

Sam writhed, moaning and arching his back, thrusting his cock into Adam's fist, then his ass back toward Adam's tongue as his breaths panted out between parted lips.

Adam pressed his tongue against Sam's tight hole, pressing just inside as his hand pumped Sam's cock in deliberate long strokes, wrist pivoting.

Sam gasped, his body shuddered involuntarily at the sensations, head rolling on the pillows, his hand near his head at the pillows closed into a tight fist, the one on the side of the bed, held on tightly.

"Adam, baby... feels... ohmygod..." Sam panted out the words, as he arched into each touch of hand and tongue, his eyes glazed, pupils lust blown, cheeks flushed a deep pink.

Adam continued to lap at Sam's hole, tongue thrusting in and out in between licks across sensitive nerves, his fisted hand working Sam's cock harder.

"Please, Adam, baby.... ohmygod...." Sam gasped, throwing his head back and clenching his teeth.

Adam pulled his mouth away and turned his head, placing a soft kiss to Sam's thigh before he pulled up and releasing Sam's cock.

Crawling up the bed, Adam reached over to open the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a small bottle of lube. 

Adam stretched out behind Sam once more, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him in close as he kissed Sam's neck.

Sam shook his head slightly, "Never - never done that, before." he panted out.

Adam smiled against the tender skin of Sam's neck, "I hope you liked it,"

"Oh God, yeah," Sam gasped.

Adam smiled wider, "Good." he told him softly, pressing his lips against Sam's throat as he reached for the bottle of lube.

Flipping the cap back, Adam rolled away from Sam onto his back for a brief moment so he could use both hands to pour lube into the palm of one hand, before rolling back, tossing the lube bottle onto the floor.

Reaching down, Adam spread the lube generously over his own hard pulsing cock, then reached down to Sam's tight hole spreading some there.

Reaching around to Sam's cock, Adam started to pump him, his hand still slightly slippery with lube making his movements an easier glide.

"You ready, sweetling?" Adam asked him softly, pressing another kiss to his neck.

Sam nodded, but Adam could feel how he tensed slightly in his arms.

"Shshsh, relax. If it hurts at all, I want you to tell me, okay?" Adam told him as he nuzzled against Sam's head, warm breath fanning over Sam's ear.

Sam gasped and bucked his hips into Adam's fisted hand as he nodded, "Okay."

Adam smiled against Sam's skin softly, before releasing Sam's cock and grabbing his own, lining himself up with Sam's hole.

Pressing forward, Adam entered Sam a small amount, just the crown of his cock, before he reached around, pumping Sam's own dick once more.

Sam gasped, his body jerking as though he would roll, before Adam hooked his legs around Sam's holding him still.

"Shshsh, not on your stomach, Sam. Stay on your side, it's okay. Does it hurt?"

Sam shook his head, lips pressed tightly together.

"Okay, you tell me if it does." Adam reminded him as he thrust his hips forward, pushing in deeper, his hand working Sam's cock harder, thumb running over the slit, smearing his precum.

Sam gasped, his hips starting to thrust his cock into Adam's hand only to have Adam tighten his arm around Sam, not wanting to thrust into him all at once.

Adam slowly thrust his hips forward again, pressing in deeper, continuing until he was balls deep inside Sam.

Sam gasped and groaned, his head rolling on the pillows.

"Tell me when you're ready." Adam told him softly against Sam's neck, his face and mouth now buried against him there.

Sam frowned and shook his head, "I - I -" he licked his lips, "yeah, I'm ready."

Adam lifted his head, "You sure?"

Sam nodded, bucking his cock harder into Adam's fist.

Adam pulled his hips back, his cock almost out of Sam and thrust back in deep.

Sam groaned low, back arching, head thrown back so it rested on the pillows, but in the crook of Adam's neck as he panted his breaths.

Adam being inside him burned, there was a slight pain, but nothing like with Dean and as Adam set a rhythm between his thrusting into him and his hand on Sam's cock the pain soon melted away into pleasure.

Adam swiveled his hips, changing angle, searching for Sam's prostate.

Adam knew when he'd found it when Sam bucked, eyes screwed tightly closed a quick and sudden cry of pleasure leaving him. "Aauugh!"

As Adam changed angle, Sam saw white as pleasure like he hadn't experienced since maybe the first time with Dean shot through him.

Adam smiled against Sam's neck, "I take it that was a good shout?" he asked breathlessly.

Sam nodded, "Mm, yeah." he answered just as breathless.

Adam tilted his head down, biting Sam's neck as he thrust into him harder, making sure to hit his prostate with each thrust, his hand pumping Sam's cock in time with the movement of his hips.

"Oh God, Sam, sweet Sammy..." Adam murmured against his neck.

Sam's head rolled toward Adam and he leaned toward Sam, their lips crushing messily together, tongues tangling before their lips even met, each moan and groan swallowed up in one another's mouth as they kissed and missed, kissed and missed.

A thin sheen of sweat covered them both as they arched and thrust against and into one another, their moans and softly spoken words of passion filling the silence of the room.

Adam started to thrust harder into Sam as he raised his head, his movements becoming erratic as heat pooled low in his belly, his balls drawing up.

Adam lowered his head to Sam's neck, sucking the tender flesh hard, "Cum with me, Sam, cum with me Sweets." Adam mumbled against the skin of Sam's neck.

Sam grit his teeth, neck arching back as he thrust his cock into Adam's first faster, harder, pushing back on Adam's cock in his ass.

Heat pooled low in Sam's belly, his balls drawing up. "Oh my God, Adam,” he panted. “Yes, oh God, baby, yes! Fuck!"

"I love you, Sam." Adam told him breathlessly, just before Sam's name tore from his throat, as he came hard and hot in Sam's ass.

Adam's name tore from Sam's throat as his cock pulsed in Adam's fisted hand, the first jet of Sam's spunk leaving him.

Adam pumped Sam's cock as he came, his hips thrusting hard into Sam's ass, Sam's muscles flexing, milking Adam of everything he had to give.

After they were both spent and laying limply against one another, breathing heavily, Adam kissed Sam's neck once more.

"I meant... what I said," Adam panted out, "I do love you, Sam." he laid his head against Sam's shoulder, "you don't have to say it back, I just.... I wanted you to know." he told him softly, placing another soft kiss on Sam's neck.

Releasing Sam's, Adam rolled his upper body away, to reach onto the floor for his tee, wiping his hand off and tossing the soiled shirt.

Rolling back to wrap his arm around Sam, Adam nuzzled against him.

"Adam?" Sam spoke his name softly, still slightly breathless.

"Yeah, sweetling?" 

Sam rolled, Adam's cock pulling from him in the process.

Adam closed his eyes, groaning softly at the loss of being inside Sam, but said nothing as he opened his eyes to look into Sam's face.

"About what you said about loving me, I -" Sam started only to be stopped as Adam reached out, pressing a finger to his lips.

"It's alright, sweetling." Adam offered him a soft smile, "I just wanted you to know." he told him, before pulling Sam in closer and closing his eyes. "Go to sleep, Sammy." Adam whispered softly.

Wrapping his arms around Adam, Sam got comfortable as he reached for the sheet, covering them and nuzzled against Adam's neck, his head on the pillow.

Adam smiled softly as he held onto Sam, their legs tangled together, arms wrapped around one another.

It wasn't long before Adam was fast asleep, though Sam lay wide awake, staring into the darkness of the room as he thought about what Adam had told him. 

Adam loved him. That face had Sam thinking about love and all the people he had loved, or had known that were in love. Did he love Adam? Was he even able to love anymore? 

Sam thought about Jessica and how he had felt for her, about Madison. He thought about his parents and the relationship they had obviously shared though he had never gotten to see it. 

And Sam thought about Dean, about how Dean claimed to love him only to hurt him every chance he got. 

It was sometime around 5 AM when Sam lifted his head and placed a soft kiss on the corner of Adam's lips. "I love you too." he told Adam's sleeping form softly, before carefully unwrapping his arms from around Adam and slipping from the bed.

Padding across the carpet, Sam went into the bathroom, dressing in his own clothes quickly before exiting and walking over to the night stand.

Opening the drawer there, Sam fished around for a pad of paper and pen or pencil, finally finding one of each, Sam wrote a note to Adam and left it on the pillow, returning the pad and pen to the night stand drawer.

"I'll be back." Sam whispered to Adam's sleeping form, before turning and walking silently out of the room.

It took seven tries, but finally Sam figured out how to turn off the security system, quietly slipping from the house to hurry to Adam's Camaro.

Hotwiring it, Sam pulled out of the driveway and headed across town.

If he was going to have a real relationship with Adam, if he was going to turn over a new leaf, he needed to put his past to rest. Dean was his brother and he loved him. Good or bad, Sam loved him. It was only right that Sam let Dean know his decision, tell him that he was in love and that he was leaving him to be with Adam.

A wide smile on his face, Sam had to tell his news to someone. Pulling out his cell, he scrolled down his contact list, reaching the one he wanted, he hit the send button.

"Roadhouse, Ellen speakin'."

Sam smile widened it it were possible.

"Ellen, it's Sam."

"Sam, how are you? How are things with Dean? Are you alright, sweetheart?" Ellen asked, all in one breath it seemed.

Sam nodded, "Yeah yeah, I'm good. Great, even. Ellen, are you ready for this?"

Ellen frowned into the phone, "Sam, I hate surprises, they're never as good as they're suppose to be, so spill." 

Sam bit his lip, "I'm leaving Dean,"

"Well, thank God," Ellen began.

"I'm in love." Sam added.

Silence greeted him.

Sam frowned into the phone, "Ellen?"

"Yeah, I'm here, Sam. Uh, just _who_ are you in love with? I mean, what's her name?"

"His name is Adam."

"I see. And how does Dean feel about this?" Ellen asked him, getting more worried by the second.

"Well, I am on my way to tell him now. I'm gonna tell him it's over with us, that we can be brother's but that's it and I'm leavin', I'm gonna stay with Adam." Sam told her.

"What the…? Are you crazy? Dean will _kill you_!" She yelled into the phone.

Sam frowned, "No, he won't. I'll set him down, talk to him, make him see it's what's best for both of us."

"No, Sam. Uh-uh, I don't like it, you turn your ass around right now where ever you're at, you and that Adam fella of yours get your asses here to the Roadhouse and _don’t_ go see Dean!"

Sam sighed, "Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll think about it, Ellen. Thanks," he murmured before clicking the **END** button.

Ellen hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh before leaning her hands on the bar, palms flat, and hanging her head...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> The Fanfiction was written for Livejournal's community's “Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester” Challenge.

Ellen paced back and forth behind the bar, hand on her hip, phone to her ear as she listened to the rings waiting for it to get picked up. "Come on, come on, pick up, goddammit." she muttered, glancing at Ash who sat at the bar, his laptop in front of him, eyes on her, waiting.

Jo stood beside Ash, worrying her bottom lip, hands clasped in front of her, she knew her mother hated doing this, but it was the right thing, it had to be done for Sam's sake.

Dean sat in one of the chairs at the motel table, head fallen back, lips parted as he slept, Sam's laptop still on in front of him.

Dean had fallen asleep just after he had finished writing down the information that he had finally found after searching all night on the laptop.

Well, okay searching and jumping over to bustyasianbeauties.com a few times... just to read the articles.

The ringing of his cell had Dean startling awake and sitting forward in the chair, looking at the alarm clock. 5:32 AM.

...the HELL?

Reaching into his pocket, Dean pulled out his cell and flipped it open as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. "Yeah?"

Ellen sighed in relief and nodded to Ash who turned his attention to his computer and began to type.

"Hey, Dean, how you boys doin'?" Ellen asked him.

Dean blinked a couple times, frowning, "Uh, good, we're good, Ellen." 

Ellen forced a smile into her voice, "Good ta hear. You two get everything taken care of that you were lookin' into alright?" she asked him, trying to just keep him on the line long enough for Ash to track his cell.

"Uh, yeah," Dean frowned as he pulled from his chair and started to pace the room. "Ellen, what's going on? What's this about?"

"Nothin', Dean, I was just hopin' you boys would get to come back to the Roadhouse to see me before ya left town. Jo here has been all in a daze since you left," Ellen told him, eyeing her daughter, who rolled her eyes with a sigh.

Dean grinned, "Has she? Uh, I mean, I don't know why that would be." he cleared his throat. 

Jo was one girl Dean would never touch, unless he got a craving to be shot full of buckshot.

Ellen nearly glared at the phone, "Yeah... I think she has a crush on Sam."

Ash and Jo turned to look at her and Ellen shrugged a shoulder.

It was one thing for Dean Winchester to be cocky about his pursuit of women it was another for him to be cocky about her daughter, the come back had just kinda slipped out.

Luckily Dean laughed, "Yeah? I'll have to tell Sammy that later."

"Is he there?" Ellen asked, "Can I talk to Sam?"

There was a long silence.

"Uh, he's in the bathroom, Ellen, I'll tell him to call you later." Dean stumbled over the answer.

Ash nodded to Ellen that he got Dean's local.

"Oh, okay, Dean. Well, you boys be safe and uh, come see me if you get the time before you leave town." she told him.

"Yeah, alright," Dean told her, "And hey, tell Jo -"

The phone went dead in his ear as Ellen hung up on the other end.

Dean pulled the cell away from his ear, frowning down at it. 

That had to be the weirdest call he'd ever gotten from Ellen Harvelle.

Sam parked Adam's camaro beside Dean's car, in front of the motel room. 

Sam sat there a moment, fingers nervously drumming on the steering wheel as he looked at the room window, worrying his bottom lip.

Surely he could talk to Dean, make him understand. 

Ellen was wrong, Dean wouldn't fly off the handle. If he talked to Dean, sat him down and really talked to him, he could make Dean understand, make him see that this was what he wanted and Dean would be okay. Yeah, everything would be okay. 

Sam wondered if he was trying to tell Ellen's voice in his head that or himself.

"Here goes nothin'." Sam muttered, reaching for the car door handle.

Hearing a car pull up just outside his room and the car door open, Dean walked over to the window as he stuffed his cell back into his pocket and pulled down one of the blind slats, peering out to see Sam pulling out of a muscle car.

Sonuvabitch... "Well look who's come home." Dean mumbled to himself as he released the blind.

Closing the car door, Sam felt like he'd just stepped out of his last line of defense against an enemy.

He told himself it was crazy to feel that way, this was Dean, his brother. He was just being paranoid.

Sam walked up to the door, fishing the room key he still had out of his pocket as he walked.

Dean pulled away from the window and turned to face the door, hearing the lock being opened.

Sam opened the door and stood a moment, hazel locked with green as they stared at one another.

"Dean," Sam said softly, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.

"Sam." Dean replied with a nod, not moving.

"Can, uh, can we talk?" Sam asked him.

Dean pursed his lips together in thought before he nodded with a sigh, looking around the room, "Sure," he gestured to the bed, "we can talk, have a seat."

Sam offered a small smile and stepped over, sitting down only to have Dean sit next to him, which made Sam move away slightly as he turned to face him.

"Uh, look," Sam started and hung his head for a moment before looking back up at his brother who seemed to be watching him closely.

"I - I just wanted to come by and tell you that, I - I think we should end this," Sam told him, his head hanging once more as he pressed his lips together thoughtfully, "the thing between us, I mean," Sam looked up, "the sex. I - I found someone and I, well, I want to be with them." Sam looked down as he waited for his brother's response.

Dean sat looking at him a moment before looking down, muscle in his jaw twitching. "So, this is it? You want to be with this, Adam, guy and not me?" Dean asked him, as he raised his head, looking over at Sam.

Sam slowly raised his head to look at Dean, giving a barely there nod. 

Dean's gaze roaming over his brother's features as he choked back the pain of that thought, the idea of losing Sam.

The thought of someone else touching Sam the way only he did. 

"I love him." Sam whispered out.

Dean pulled abruptly to his feet and took a few steps away from the bed.

Sam stood to his feet, watching Dean. "I'm sorry," he told him softly. "I'm not going with you, I'm staying with Adam."

Dean turned around swiftly, drawing back a fist as he did and punched Sam hard in the mouth.

Sam's head snapped to the side with the force, his upper body turning with it. 

Turning back, Sam clenched his jaw, "What we have isn't love, Dean. You're always screwin' around on me and lying about it, but Adam, he loves me."

Dean drew back a fist and hit Sam again in the mouth, again, making Sam's entire upper body turn with the force of the blow.

Sam turned back, raising his left hand to dab at the blood on his lip.

"You think you can get better than me, Sammy?" Dean asked him softly.

Dean turned his head, as his eyes filled with tears. Sam was gonna leave him. Leave him for someone else. Some one else was going to touch what was his.

Dean glared at Sam, jade eyes blazing."Did you fuck him, Sam?" 

Sam didn't answer, only dropped his gaze from Dean's face.

Dean turned around in a rage, his arm swung out, hitting the lamp on the dresser, sending it flying and crashing to the floor.

Dean turned around to face Sam nodding, "Fine Sam, you wanna go, fine! It's OVER! I don't mean the sex, I mean us! I am no longer your brother, do you understand that!? I want nothing to do with a freak like you!" Dean yelled at him.

Tears stung Sam's eyes as he nodded.

"And it won't be long, Sam, before this Adam guy sees what kind of freak you are and wants nothing to do with you either." Dean hissed, "And you will have NOTHING! DO NOT come crawling back to me when he dumps your freak ass! Or when you kill him! Did you tell him about that,. Sam? Did ya tell him what kind of a cursed freak you are!?"

Sam dropped his gaze, eyes tearing up more. "No." he whispered out.

Dean huffed, "No," he nodded, "yeah, I didn't think so."

Dean's hand graced the top of the laptop as he stood glaring at his brother.

In one fluid movement, Dean closed the laptop, jerking it free of the cord that plugged it into the wall socket, swinging the laptop as a weapon, Dean hit Sam with it, an upper cut to the side of the head, sending Sam toppling over backward, his head jerking upward with the force of the blow.

In the process Sam bit his tongue, piercing it through, blood pooled in his mouth, running from the corner, down his chin as his back hit the floor with a thud, knocking the wind from his lungs.

Dean was on him in an instant, before Sam had a chance to respond, to block himself or fight back.

Straddling Sam's hips, Dean punched him in the face over and over, left hook, right hook, left, right. Sam's head snapping to each side with the blows.

"You," a punch, "are", another punch, "mine" and another punch, "Sam!" Dean growled out between clenched teeth.

Sam reached up blindly, grasping handfuls of Dean's shirts as he tried to shove him off, make him stop.

Dean grabbed one of Sam's arms as he brought a knee up and twisting his arm and slamming it down onto Dean's knee cap.

Sam's body bucked as pain flared through his arm, into his shoulder.

"Auuggh, Dean! I think you broke my arm!" Sam cried out.

"I'll fuckin' break the other one next, you goddamn whore!" Dean roared angrily, reaching for the laptop he had dropped and raising it high, using it to bash Sam in the head, his face.

Blood ran from Sam's nose, his lips, out of his mouth. 

Sam gagged on the blood running down his throat.

Dean dropped the laptop, and reached for Sam's throat, choking him, face twisted in a sneer. "Fucking MINE!" he growled out between clenched teeth as his grip tightened on Sam's throat.

Sam's lips parted as he gasped for breath that wouldn't come, hands clawing at his brother's hands, trying to pull them off.

Dean spit into Sam's face as he choked him, "You smell like him, goddammit! Smell like a fuckin' slut!" Dean yelled at him.

Sam's eyes were wide as he struggled for breath, the whites shot with red as capillaries burst in his eyes from lack of oxygen, the pressure of Dean's hands on his throat.

Please Dean...

Dean released Sam's throat abruptly, Sam gasping in breaths, choking as oxygen burned his abused throat and windpipe.

Dean rolled his brother over as he gasped weakly for breaths to fill oxygen deprived lungs, rough hands working the button and zipper of Sam's jeans as he pinned Sam to the floor, one knee pressing hard into Sam's wrist, pinning it there, his other arm that Dean broke nearly useless.

"No," Sam gasped, choking, voice raw, soft, too soft to be heard over the rushing blood in Dean's temples in his anger.

"Don't... touch... me," Sam gasped and struggled uselessly, small bones in his wrist crushing and breaking as he jerked his arm, trying to get free.

Sam reached back with his broken arm, pain streaking all through it, but adrenaline helping him to do it anyway as he grit his teeth. 

Sam tried to fight off his brother's advances as Dean pulled and shoved his jeans and boxers down.

Sam's broken arm in the way starting to get on Dean's nerves, Dean slammed an elbow down in the center of the break making Sam cry out in pain. 

"Hold fuckin' still, Sam!" Dean ground out between clenched teeth as he unfastened his own jeans.

"Gonna show you who you fuckin' belong to, Sam. Wanna hear you say it, goddammit!" Dean growled, as he lowered himself onto Sam. his body blanketing Sam's as he grabbed Sam's good arm and twisted it up behind his back, pressing upward, wrist toward the back of Sam's head putting painful pressure on the shoulder joint.

Reaching down with one hand, Dean lined up the blunt end of his cock with Sam's tight hole and shoved in hard.

Sam grit his teeth, a grunt of pain leaving him, eyes squeezing tightly together for a moment before he opened them again. "No," he ground out between clenched teeth, his face covered in his own blood, running down across his lips and dripping onto the rug, smearing each time Sam put his head down against the carpet.

Dean slammed into him hard, teeth clenched. "Say it, Sam, say that you belong to me. Say that you are mine!" Dean growled through his teeth.

Sam grunted, trying to inch away as he shook his head, "No, God no..."

"Yes, goddammit!" Dean yelled, slamming into him again, harder than the last time.

Dean reached up with a free hand gripping a handful of Sam's hair and pulled his head back at an extreme angle. "SAY IT!" he yelled in Sam's ear.

Sam grit his teeth, "No!" he yelled back.

Dean slammed Sam's head down against the floor at the same time as he slammed his cock hard and deep into his ass.

Sam groaned, grunting in pain, his forehead bruising immediately, a goose egg bump forming.

Releasing Sam's hair, Dean reached down, shoving two fingers into Sam beside his dick.

Sam cried out through gritted teeth as he tried to wiggle away from his brother.

"Gotta open ya up for him. don't I, Sam? Huh? You don't wanna be mine anymore, I need to get you ready for him, for you to be his fuckin' whore!" Dean growled out, shoving his fingers and cock into Sam deep.

Sam's breaths panted out as he struggled, sweat covered his form, dripped down his forehead to mix with the blood on his face, running downward, dripping onto the floor.

"No, Dean... stop... fuck! Stop!" Sam begged, continuing to struggle in vain under his brother.

Dean grit his teeth as he added two more fingers, spreading them once he had them inside Sam, ripping and tearing him open.

Sam screamed, tried to buck, to wiggle to squirm away from Dean, only to have Dean push upward with his feet and slam harder into him.

"Say you're mine, Sam. Say it and this ends." Dean told him.

Sam screamed again as Dean jerked his hand upward still inside him.

Sam shook his head, "No... no.... Dean stop! God, just stop!" he yelled back, tears that had filled his eyes now falling down his cheeks.

Dean grit his teeth in rage, quickly pull his cock and fingers out of Sam, moving slightly, Dean rolled Sam back over, straddling him once more as he punched Sam in the face.

"Stop!? You want it to stop!? Then fucking say you're mine, goddamn you! You fucking freak bitch!" 

Dean grabbed Sam's jaw, shoving his head back as his free hand ripped at his over shirt, buttons flying, material tearing.

"Say it Sam! Say it!" Dean growled.

"No! No! Fuck!" Sam yelled as he fought back, punching and clawing at Dean's hands, trying to get free.

Dean stopped, suddenly simply stopped moving, before he leaned down over Sam, his face in Sam's.

"You're always gonna be mine, Sammy. Always." Dean hissed out, voice soft and deadly.

Sam panted in breaths, tears streaking his face mixing with the blood that poured from his nose and dribbled out his mouth as he looked up at Dean, hand gripping handful of Dean's shirt, holding him back as best as he could.

"You wanna take another swing, go ahead. Hit me all you want, it won't change anything." Sam told him, voice surprisingly steady as his heart hammered in his chest.

"I'm still gonna love him." Sam told Dean softly.

Dean grit his teeth, jade eyes blazing with maniacal anger as if something had just suddenly snapped inside Dean, as if some part that had made Dean hold back whatever small amount he had before was suddenly pushed and broken away.

Dean pulled up off Sam, reaching up to grasp a handful of Sam's hair and pull him to his feet along with him.

In the process, Dean shoved his cock back into his pants, without fastening them then grabbed for Sam, taking the few steps toward the vanity outside the motel's bathroom, Dean threw Sam into the mirror.

Sam's hands came up just in time to shield his face from the glass as his head and face hit the mirror shattering it, before he fell back on the floor.

Dean fastened his jeans in that split second as Sam fell before he began to kick his brother.

A booted foot to the back, kicking Sam in the spine, the lower back, as Sam curled into a ball, hands up to block his face.

Booted foot to the back of Sam's head, Dean's face twisted in a sneer of hatred, of rage.

"Fuck you, Sam! Fuck you!" Dean yelled at him as he continued to kick him hard as many times as he could, legs, back, ass, head, anywhere that Sam couldn't cover, couldn't protect, as he curled into the fetal position on the tiled floor.

The laptop caught Dean's attention out of the corner of his eye, laying there on the floor a few steps away.

Walking over, Dean snatched up the computer and came back to Sam, crouching over him, Dean began beating Sam with the laptop with all his might.

"Dean! Stop! Please!" Sam cried out, as he held up an arm to shield himself, but Dean continued.

Soon Sam's cries, his pleading stopped, blood pooled on the floor under Sam, slowly spreading outward as Dean continued to beat him with the laptop.

"Fuckin'. son. uva. bitch. whore!" each word punctuated by a hit, a strike with the laptop against Sam's upper body, his head, chest, face.

Dean growled with rage as the image of Sam kissing the blond guy on the computer flashed in his mind, he hit Sam again with the laptop, directly against the side of the head, cracking the laptop in half.

Sam's body rolled onto his back, eyes closed, face, neck and chest covered thickly in blood.

Dean threw the ruined electronic onto the floor as he looked down at his baby brother and slowly pulled to his feet, kicking Sam's leg.

"Get up, Sam, go wash up." Dean told him, his anger spent.

* * * 

Adam sighed and stretched, a small smile curving his lips as he reached a hand out for Sam.

Finding no one there, Adam's eyes opened slightly, "Sam?" he called out sleepily.

Feeling the coolness of the sheets, Adam's eyes opened wider as he frowned, raising his head off the pillows to look toward the bathroom.

Empty.

Lowering his head, the crinkle of paper near his ear had Adam turning his head to see the note.

Panic slammed into Adam as he pulled up, sitting in the bed, one hand snatching up the note Sam had left him.

Dear Adam,  
Laid awake all night thinking.  
About us, about what you said to me.  
I came to one conclusion... I do love you.  
Knowing that, I need to set things right between Dean and I.  
He's my brother and good or bad, I love him as that.  
I need to tell him that I am in love,  
that he and I are finished.  
I know I can make Dean understand, make him see that this is what is best for both of us.  
Don't worry about me. I'll be back as soon as Dean and I work it out.  
I love you,  
Sam.  
P.S. Don't be pissed, but I am taking your car.

Panic slammed through Adam as he nearly jumped out of the bed, paper falling from numb fingers as he hurried to the closet and grabbed a pair of sweats, pullign them on as he made his way out of the bedroom and down the stairs, throwing open the front door.

Adam stood there stupidly staring out at the empty driveway, mouth hanging open in shock even though Sam's note had told him it was so.

No, Sam! No!

Turning on his heel, door slamming closed behind him, Adam ran back up the stairs, grabbing the cordless phone off the night stand as he started to get dressed.

* * *

Hendrickson picked up the phone on the first ring. He was not a morning person.

"Verona, if you aren't dying, you need to hang up the phone now." he answered with a sigh.

"Sam's gone!" Adam blurted into the phone.

"What?" Hendrickson asked him frowning. Damn kid talked like he had a speech impediament and now he was talkin so damn fast it was a wonder he understood him at all. Friggin Aussie.

"Sam's gone! I woke up, he was gone. He left a note." Adam told him, struggling to pull his shirt on.

"Okay.." Hendrickson said slowly, not seeing the problem yet, after all Sam was a free man, he could come and go as he pleased.

"He went to see Dean! To tell him about us!" Adam shook his head making a face, "About Sam and me! Dean's gonna kill him, Vic!" Adam nearly yelled into the phone.

"Adam, get a hold of yourself. how do we know where the hell they even are? Dean Winchester has a habit of skipping town at the drop of a hat, I mean we can -" Hendrickson started only to have Adam interrupt him, "He took my car!"

Hendrickson snickered, "Only you could get a boyfriend that steals your-"

"Not NOW, Vic!" Adam interrupted him as he sat down on the edgte of the bed, pulling on his high top Nike's.

"My car's got a lo-jack, we can trace it." Adam told him.

"Okay, I'll get on that, Verona. You just calm down. You need a ride here?" Hendrickson asked him.

"Nah, I'll take the bike." Adam said, before hanging up the phone and tossing it on the bed.

Rushing over to his dresser, Adam crouched, opening the bottom drawer and pulled out his Glock 9 mm and a case of hollow point armor piercing bullets.

Pulling to his full height, boith items in hand, Adam hurried out of the room and down the stairs to the garage.

Moments later, Adam sped out of the garage and down the road headed for the police station on his Docati 1198 S motorcycle, a candy apple red blur.

* * * 

Ellen dialed the number and waited as the line rang, feeling half like a trader and half like a savior.

Dammit to hell why did she always seem to get pulled into shit!?

The call was answered on the fourth ring.

"Hendrickson." he answered the phone, not taking his eyes off the computer screen as he stood behind Dotson, while the kid traced the lo-jack in Adam's car.

"Hendrickson, this is Ellen Harvelle, I -" she sighed, "dammit, I know you're after Dean Winchester and I know where he is."

Hendrickson turned around, frowning, as he read the name and local of where the call was coming from, the information about the place as it popped up on the screen beside his phone.

"And you, a hunter bar owner are going to tell me that information? Just like that?" he asked, not believing it for a second.

Ellen huffed as she ran a hand through her hair, "Yes, dammit, because his brother's life is in danger!" she spat into the phone.

Hendrickson froze, "What do you know about that, Miss Harvelle?"

"Miss Harvelle is my daughter and Mrs. Harvelle was my mother - in- law, I'm Ellen, just Ellen." she mumbled into the phone.

Hendrickson sighed, closing his eyes, "Alright, Ellen how do you know this?"

"Because Sam called me, I'm the closest thing those boys have to a mother and dammit, I'm not about to see one of them kill the other, now are you gonna stand there arguin' with me all day, Agent Hendrickson or are you gonna actually be of some use!?" She snapped.

Adam rushed through the door, motorcycle helmet in hand.

Adam looked over at Hendrickson at the same time that Victor looked up at him, their gazes locked.

"Alright, Ellen, tell me what you know." Hendrickson said evenly into the phone.

* * *

When Sam didn't move, Dean kicked his leg again. "Sam! I mean it! Get up!" Dean barked at him, frowning hard.

Sam's leg slid against the floor from the force of Dean's kick, but otherwise he remained motionless.

"Sam!" Dean called to him again as he frowned down at his brother's still form.

Dean looked at Sam then, really looked at him.

Sam's face covered in blood, blood lines stained his chin and cheeks, caked under his nose, his face was red with it, his hair dark like he'd been swimming there was so much blood in Sam's hair, under his head a puddle lay, sticky and copper smelling, his chest was streaked with blood, his neck peppered in deep dark bruises, a cut ran across Sam's forehead jaggedly, blood caking the area, dark and deep, oozing downward into his closed eyes, the puddle under Sam growing slowly, very very slowly.

Sam's jeans and boxers hung down around his thighs, blood smeared the carpet near his ass, his legs were prlayed open as far as the denim of his jeans would allow, one arm twisted oddly next to him, the other lay outward, hand curled loosly.

Dean fell to one knee beside his brother as a numbness suddenly washed over him.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered out, tears stinging his eyes.

Reaching out, Dean touched Sam's shoulder, shaking him, "Sammy, come on, man, this isn't funny anymore." Dean tried to laugh, only to have a tear drip down his cheek.

Pulling his hand back, Dean brought that hand, fisted, up to his mouth as his gaze roamed over his brother.

Oh my God, I killed him. I killed him. Sam's dead. Sammy's dead.

A strangled cry broke softly from deep in Dean's throat as his face crumbled.

The sound of sirens made their way into the room, coming from a distance, but Dean didn't budge as he stared at his brother.

He had killed Sam. Beaten him to death. Dead, Sam was dead. Never would he hear his voice again, see his smile, or one of his bitch faces. Never would he kiss his lips, touch him. 

Dean moved forward, brushing his lips across Sam's blood covered ones, "At least he can't have you either." he whispered softly, before pulling to his feet, staggering backward, his gaze still on his brother, tears slowly slipping down his cheeks.

"Sorry, Sammy. So sorry." Dean whispered, as the sound of sirens drew closer.

Turning quickly, Dean threw open the motel room door and ran out to the Impala, sliding behind the wheel.

Dean tore out of the lot moments later.

* * * 

As the four police cars and one unmarked car tore into the motel lot, sires blazing, lights flashing, Adam was the first out of the car, running toward the door, his hand on his gun at his hip.

"Adam!" Hendrickson yelled as he pulled from the car.

With a muttered curse, Hendrickson ran after his partner.

"FBI!" Adam yelled as he ran to the door, pulling his gun from it's holster, not stopping before he kicked it in.

Wood splintered and tore from the wall as the door swung open.

Adam stepped into the room, gun drawn and pointed into the room as Hendrickson came in behind him, his gun drawn as well.

Both looked around the room for signs of Dean Winchester, only to find none.

That was when Adam's gaze fell on Sam's prone form laying across the room a darkened area near the bathroom next to the vanity.

"Sam," Adam gasped his name, eyes wide as his heart felt as though it stuttered in his chest.

Adam tucked his gun away in it's holder as he quickly made his way over toward Sam.

Hendrickson caught Adam by the shoulders as he stepped in front of him.

"Adam, don't touch him!" Hendrickson told him.

Adam tore his gaze away from Sam's form to look at his partner's face, his vision blurring with unshed tears.

"Listen to me, man," Hendrickson told him, "you need to keep your shit together here. Ya with me?"

Adam squeezed his eyes closed as he turned his head away.

"Adam! Are. you. with. me?" Hendrickson repeated.

Adam opened his eyes and looked back, nodding as he sniffled, "Yeah, I hear ya," he sniffled, "I know."

Hendrickson nodded, "Alright," he told him as he took a step to the side, letting Adam walk past him over to Sam's side.

Adam's heart twisted in his chest as he looked at Sam, his legs seeming to buckle under him as he half fell to his knees beside Sam's blood covered body.

"Oh, Sammy," Adam whispered softly, his gaze ranking over Sam, taking in every detail and knowing, knowing without needing to be told, what had happened.

Adam started to reach up and smooth back Sam's long bangs from his forehead, but stopped himself, pulling his hand back as he swallowed hard, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

Taking a deep breath, Adam pressed his lips together and reached down index and forefinger to the pulse point in Sam's neck checking for a pulse.

Adam held his breath as he waited, hoped and prayed that he would feel something.

It wasn't much, it was faint and thready, but it was there, a pulse.

"He's alive!" Adam shouted, "He's fucking alive!" 

Hendrickson turned to the first man in uniform, "Get an ambulance here NOW!"

The officer didn't even bother to leave the room, but called it in over the radio on his shoulder.

Adam wiped at his eyes as he looked at Sam, "Why'd you leave?" he asked softly, "I could have told you, you should have woke me,"

Adam turned his head, as he squeezed his eyes closed, a tear falling to roll down his cheek.

Reaching over toward the bed, Adam caught the quilt between his fingers and tugged, pulling it from the bed onto the floor to cover Sam with up to his middle.

Adam sniffled, "There ya go, sweetling." he told him softly. "Just hold on, helps on the way."

Turning to look around the room, Adam yelled, "Someone get me a damn towel!"

One of the men in uniform brought Adam over a couple towels from the bathroom and Adam wadded them, using them to stop the flow of blood from the gash on Sam's forehead, the one along the back of his ear, the side of his face.

Hendrickson walked over to Adam and crouched, evidence kit in hand.

"Adam, I-" Hendrickson started as he opened the kit.

Adam looked over at Hendrickson, at the kit, at too damn many people looking at Sam like he was a damn freak show.

"Give it to me! I'll do it, get these guys the hell outta here! What the hell are they lookin' at!?" Adam blew up, shouting and snatching the kit from Hendrickson's hands.

Adam's own hands were shaking as he pulled on the rubber gloves, wiping his face on the sleeve of his shirt.

Hendrickson sighed as he pulled to his full height, "You heard the man, anyone who doesn't have to be in here needs to get out."

Hendrickson crouched back down next to Adam, "I got an APB out on Dean, if he's -"

Adam reached over with his still ungloved hand and gripped a handful of the front of Hendrickson's shirt as he looked at him, teeth clenched, eyes narrowed and deadly.

"I want him, Vic. Me! I want that sonofabitch!" Adam snarled.

Hendrickson's gaze searched Adam's face before he nodded slowly, "Okay, Adam, okay man." Hendrickson told him, reaching up with one hand to grip Adam's wrist and pull his hand away.

Adam slowly released Victor's shirts and turned back toward Sam, pulling on the second glove. "We go for the death penalty," Adam told him, shaking his head, "I'll deal with Sam when it happens."

Hendrickson clapped Adam on the shoulder as he pulled to his full height again and turned, walking toward the door as the sound of the ambulance siren drew closer.

Adam took out a small envelope used for collecting DNA samples and reached for one of Sam's hands, gently bring it up so he could scrape under his nails.

Blood even stained the skin of Sam's hands, his knuckles raw, fingertips sore and red looking.

Adam grit his teeth, muscle in his jaw twitching. "Fought back against that bastard, didn't ya, sweetling?"" Adam asked Sam's unconscious form as he shook his head sniffling, "You don't have to worry anymore. I'm gonna nail that fucker to the wall, I promise you that." 

Finishing with one hand, Adam reached for the other, Sam's arm bent at an odd angle. 

Adam clenched his teeth together so hard it was a wonder he wasn't breaking any, before he pulled up and moved around Sam, to kneel on the other side, not wanting to move his obviously broken arm. 

Adam finished scraping under the nails of that hand just as the paramedics came through the door.

It took two of the paramedics and Hendrickson to get Adam to step back, though he didn't go far and his gaze was riveted on Sam as he was strapped to a back board and a neck brace was secured.

Adam stood with his hands clenching and unclenching into fists as Sam's tee cut open, revealing a ton of bruises and cuts on his upper chest. The paramedics quickly placed heart monitor leads on his chest and turned on the EKG machine.

From the sound of the beep from the damn heart monitor was going way too damn slow to Adam's ears.

His gaze flickering between the small monitor and Sam's body as one paramedic tilted his head back and began to intubate him, the other two starting IVs in both arms.

The paramedics moved Sam then, placing him on the stretcher, then raised it to wheel him out.

Adam glanced over at Hendrickson, before following after the paramedics. "I'm going with him!" Adam called after them.

Hendrickson followed Adam out, stopping as they got to the back of the ambulance.

"I'll wrap things up here and meet you at the hospital later, Verona. I'll call our tipster this Ellen woman and thank her for her help. I'm posting a guard at Sam's door," Hendrickson was telling Adam as the paramedics loaded Sam into the ambulance.

Adam nodded, only half listening as he continued to look over at Sam and the paramedics, his mind, his heart one one thing alone.

A long loud continual beep sound came from inside the ambulance, making both Hendrickson and Adam turn their attention to what was going on inside.

"He's flat-lined!" one paramedic called to another.

Adam's eyes widened, as fear gripped him. Sam!

The paramedic nearest to the defibrillator got the paddles ready, and called for 'clear'.

Sam's body aching as they shocked him to get his heart started once again, then falling back against the stretcher.

"I got nothin'!"

"Clear!"

Again Adam watched Sam's body arch and fall.

"We got him!" the paramedic turned to Adam, "Get it now!"

Adam nodded, climbing in next to Sam, taking Sam's hand in his as he sat on the small bench seat.

Looking out at Hendrickson, Adam nodded, "We'll talk later! Come by the hospital!"

Hendrickson nodded and helped to close the ambulance doors.

* * * 

As they took Sam from the back of the ambulance at the hospital rushing him inside, Adam kept hold of his hand, hurry next to the stretcher.

When they tried to stop him from following, Adam flashed his badge and told them he needed to know what the hell was going on due to the case.

Once in the triage room, however, Adam was forced to stand back as doctors and nurses surrounded Sam, moving him from the stretcher to the gurney as the portable x-ray machine was wheeled in.

Adam stood watching, his eyes never leaving Sam as they worked on him.

Sam's shoes, jeans and boxers were removed, his tee and outer shirt cut the rest of the way off, a sheet pulled over his lower half.

Adam watched as the back and neck braces were removed once the x-rays showed there were no injuries to Sam's neck or spine. 

A hospital gown was placed on Sam then and a girl who couldn't be a day over eighteen hurried in to attach a bracelet to Sam's wrist announcing who he was and who is doctor was.

She left just as quickly as she had entered, and more doctors came in, unlocking the breaks on the gurney and starting to pull Sam from the room.

Adam stepped forward to follow, only to have a nurse block his path, "You can't follow him, baby. They're takin' him to O.R. for that arm. You're gonna have to wait here. It won't be too long." she told him kindly.

*

Adam had forgotten how much he hated hospitals until he had to wait in one. Wait to hear how Sam was, if he was alright. If he had made it through surgery.

Wait to find out what all had happened, what was broken and needed to be fixed, wait to find out if it could be fixed, just wait....

Adam paced back and forth up and down the hall, head hanging, nearly colliding with a nurse once as she was coming up the hall in a hurry, Adam had thought maybe it was for Sam, about Sam, but she had smiled sadly at him and shook her head. No word, nothing.

Adam had flashed his badge so many times that every one in the ER knew he was FBI, but it still didn't seem to get him very far, just into the back area of triage, but not in with Sam, not where he could hold him, touch him, see him, make sure he was alright.

He'd been offered a place to sit, coffee to drink, a soda, had been told that maybe he'd like to call someone while he waited, but to each offer, Adam only shook his head as he continued to pace.

Finally, when Adam was about at his wits end, a man in hospital green scrubs walked out, face mask in hand, his shoes still covered with the little green see -thru coverings.

"Agent Adam Verona?" he man asked.

Adam looked up quickly, eyes wide, "That's me, I'm Agent Verona. How's Sam? Is he okay? Is he awake? Can I see him?"

The man held up a hand, "One question at a time, son. First, I'm Sam's doctor, Dr. Campbell." He held out his hand to Adam and Adam shook it rather quickly before he pulled his hand away, waiting to hear about Sam.

"Sam is stable," Dr. Campbell nodded, "He's in a room now, he's still unconscious. He's got a hell of a concussion, the broken arm, we set with pins in surgery," Dr. Campbell sighed, "he's got some broken ribs, a couple of cracked ones. The lacerations to his face and forehead have stitches." 

Dr. Campbell looked to the side, then at the floor, "His other injuries," he looked up at Adam, "I am sure you are aware that he was raped?" 

Adam nodded, jaw clenched, muscle twitching.

The doctor sighed, "Yeah, well, we did a rape kit on him, he seems to have some internal bleeding though he doesn't seem to have any internal damage per say, so that should heal on it's own. I considered a few stitches outside, but I'm not certain that's needed, if he has trouble when he wakes, we can deal with that then."

Adam's hands were curled into tight fists at his sides, short blunt nails cutting into the skin of his palms, his jaw clenched so tightly shut that his jaw hurt.

After a moment, Adam managed to relax his jaw enough to ask, "Can I see him?"

The doctor nodded, "Yes, but don't expect a lot right away. Give him time. He's in room," the doctor turned to flip up a chart that lay on the desk next to him 508, 5th floor." he nodded to Adam.

Adam nodded, holding out his hand to the doctor, "Thank you."

Dr. Campbell shook his hand before Adam stepped away, heading toward the elevators.

Walking out of the elevator onto the 5th floor, Adam headed toward Sam's room without speaking to anyone, his sole focus, Sam.

Reaching Sam's room, Adam turned to go in and did a stutter step, before he could actually get his legs to obey his brain and walk him the rest of the way inside, though his steps were slow and his legs felt stiff as he moved, his eyes locked on Sam's form laying in the bed.

Sam still had that damn tube down his throat, only now it was attached to a respirator, his arm was in a cast, resting on a stack of pillows next to his side, his eyes were closed and he looked so pale laying there, the bruises standing out more now than they had seemed to in the motel room, and the heart monitor beeped slowly next to the bed.

"Sam?" Adam said his name softly as he reached over the bed rail with a trembling hand to grasp Sam's hand, holding it gently within his own.

"Hey, Sweetling, it's me," Adam murmured softly, leaning over to gently brush his lips against Sam's temple.

(( Incase anyone wants to know what intubation is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intubation there ya go!))


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> The Fanfiction was written for Livejournal's community's “Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester” Challenge.

[Three Weeks Later]

Sam hovered at the edge of consciousness, shades of black changing to red, pink and white from the lights in the room behind his closed eyes.

He didn't need to open his eyes to know what the weight at the area where his hip and lower stomach met was, or the lighter weight that ran around his waist.

Dark lashes fluttered as he slowly opened his eyes, blinking awake, to look down at Adam, his head resting on Sam, his arm draped over Sam's waist, as he slept.

Adam hadn't left the hospital since the day Sam had been brought in, showering there and eating crappy hospital food right along with Sam in his room.

Hendrickson had brought Adam clothes in for him to change in to everyday at the beginning of each new week when he also picked up Adam's dirty clothes to run them by his house and drop them off.

There had been no sign of Dean in the last three weeks, as though Dean had simply vanished off the face of the planet. 

Once there had been a supposed sighting, only to have police and FBI surround the area and find nothing, not even a hair follicle.

Of course, two days later they found the Impala in a ditch on the side of the road. No Dean, no hunting equipment in the trunk, nothing, just the car, stripped. 

It was obvious Dean was on the run and not taking any chances. After all, not many people owned a '67 mint condition Chevy Impala, ditching it, as much as Sam was sure it had killed Dean to do, was probably the smartest thing he had ever done, in the lines of not getting caught.

True to Hendrickson's word, a guard had been posted outside Sam's room, and everything that was brought in was checked over with a fine tooth comb to be sure it was what it was suppose to be.

Sam knew what that meant, they were making sure Dean wasn't somehow working to poison him. 

Sam had started to protest the very idea of it, only to have Hendrickson and Adam both give him a look that said they were putting nothing past Dean Winchester.

Sam slowly moved his good hand to Adam's head, running his fingers through his lovers unruly hair.

Low voices at his door drew Sam's attention, looking over he saw one of his nurses stopped at the door as Officer Hendrix checked over the items she held on the small metal tray.

With a sigh, Sam returned his gaze to Adam's sleeping face as he licked his lips.

The tube had been taken out of his throat the morning after he had arrived in the hospital as he had awoken, the stitches on his forehead and the sides of his face had all but dissolved away, leaving barely a scar. The bruises on his face and neck were now sickly shades of yellow and green as they healed. 

Sam's ribs felt a hell of a lot better than they had the previous weeks, of course, they still made him sit on this stupid donut, which Sam continued to roll his eyes over, but Adam was insistent that it was better for him to use it. It was probably the only thing he didn't like about Adam being there, his insisting that Sam do everything that the doctors suggested for him to get better. He was a hunter for crying out loud, pain was part of the job description. Not that Adam knew that. 

Sam frowned softly as he gazed at Adam's sleeping form. Yeah, he was going to have to tell Adam, tell him everything, soon.

Sam glanced up as the nurse walked in and around his bed to the side where his IV was to change the bag. 

"How are you feeling, Sam?" She asked him, smiling softly at him.

Sam nodded as he offered her a small smile, his hand still on Adam's head, digits tangled in the blond disheveled strands. "I'm okay."

The nurse, Claudette, nodded to him as she went about her work changing his IV bag and making notes on his chart, glancing at Adam, she nodded toward him.

"How's he doing?" she asked, brow quirked.

Sam shook his head, smile still tugging at his lip, "I dunno, he still refuses to leave."

Claudette clucked her tongue as she shook her head, smiling at Sam, she winked at him, "Boy's got it bad for you, honey. You're a lucky man."

Sam smiled wider, dimples showing, "Yeah, I think so too." 

Claudette started for the door, "You need anything, baby? Water, juice, someone to take that pretty white boy off your hands?" she teased, grinning at Sam over her shoulder.

Sam shook his head, "Nah, I'm good." he nodded.

Claudette sighed, "Alright, if you change your mind, about any of those, you know where the call button is."

Sam chuckled softly as he nodded, "Yeah, I know."

"He wouldn't dare trade me in, " Adam spoke up sleepily, "he wasn't hit in the head that hard." he joked back, a smile tugging sleepily at his lips.

Claudette rolled her eyes and shook her head as she continued out the door, "Young love." she muttered as she went.

Adam sleepily turned his head, dropping a kiss on Sam's blanket covered stomach as he looked up at him over his brows, a smile pulling at his lips.

"Our love is legendary." Adam murmured softly against the blanket.

Sam chuckled, "No, I think it's the fact that you refuse to leave and keep flashing that badge to make them do what you want so you can stay."

Adam pulled his head up, sitting back in the chair as he rubbed his eyes and yawned, shrugging a shoulder. "Meh, whichever."

He smiled at Sam as he dropped his hands back down, "I like my theory better though."

Sam shook his head smiling wide before letting his head fall back against the pillows.

"How are you feeling, Sweetling?" Adam asked him, reaching out to take Sam's hand in his, thumb running slowly over his knuckles, "seriously."

Sam nodded, "I'm seriously fine."

Adam didn't look so convinced, but he didn't argue, instead pulling up though he stayed leaned over, pressing his lips to Sam's temple before sitting back down again with a heavy sigh.

"Well, if that's true," he gave Sam a stern look that he better be telling the truth, "then I'm glad."

Sam smiled, nodding, "Yeah, so can I stop sitting on this pink inflated pool toy?"

Adam shook his head grinning at him, "No."

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes, "Adam..." he groaned.

"Oh, come on, I like your pink inflated pool toy." Adam teased, grinning.

Sam frowned, "Then you sit on it." he grumbled, as he started to reach under himself to pull the offensive object out.

Adam grabbed Sam's wrist, "Hey! No, you gotta leave it." 

Sam frowned harder, giving one of his best 'bitch faces'. "No, I really don't. I'm fine."

Adam pulled up, standing beside the bed as his hand slid down Sam's wrist to his hand, lacing their fingers together, "Nope. It's gotta stay." he told him shaking his head and smiling.

Sam looked down at their joined hands, then up into Adam's face, "Oh, you think that's gonna stop me? I'll just reach with the other -" Sam told him, as he started to move his broken arm off the stack of pillows and reach down under himself.

Adam dove half onto the bed, grabbing Sam's other arm, pushing it back down against the pillows.

"Sam!" he frowned at him, winning him a snort of laughter from Sam.

Adam leaned in pressing his lips softly against Sam's, before drawing back, gazing at him, their lips inches apart, "You should leave it so you can come home faster," Adam told him.

"Yeah?" Sam asked softly.

Adam nodded, "Yeah," breath fanning Sam's lips.

"Home," Sam smiled, "I like that idea."

Adam smiled wider, leaning in again, slanting his mouth over Sam's tongue darting out to run along Sam's bottom lip.

The clearing of a throat behind them, had them breaking apart and looking toward the sound. 

Sam looked up, Adam over his shoulder, at Hendrickson, who stood at the foot of Sam's bed frowning.

"I was going to ask how the patient was doing, but seeings as he can stomach you in his face, Verona, I guess he must be doing pretty good." Hendrickson said frowning at the both of them.

Adam looked back at Sam smiling as Sam glanced at him then looked back up at Hendrickson, "It's pretty hard, I mean, I had to choke back my lunch but..."

Adam narrowed his eyes at Sam, who cracked up laughing.

"Oh yeah?" Adam asked him dropping a kiss on Sam's lips as he laughed.

"Yeah," Sam chuckled.

Adam dropped another kiss, "Yeah? Hold back your lunch now, buddy boy." he teased, kissing him again and again.

Sam laughed harder, trying to fight off being drowned in kisses.

Hendrickson shook his head and paced away from the bed, "Yeah well, when you two are finished, let me know." 

Both Adam and Sam were laughing and mock wrestling, Sam with one arm, as Adam continued to kiss his face, finally, Adam relented and looked over his shoulder at Hendrickson.

"Sorry, man," he cleared his throat, pulling up to his full height, "problem?"

Hendrickson shook his head as he turned back around, "No, not exactly a problem, more of an annoyance." he huffed.

Dean...

It was unspoken, but the underlying meaning was clear.

Hendrickson looked past Adam to Sam, "Sam, do you mind if we take your cell? Get Dean's number off it, bug it, so if Dean calls it we can maybe track him down?"

The smile slowly slid from Sam's face as he looked at Hendrickson.

Sure, he didn't want to be with Dean, and yeah, of course, he wanted to have Dean leave him and Adam alone, but to have Dean arrested... he just wasn't so sure.

Sam looked over at Adam who was watching him silently.

Sam swallowed and lowered his gaze, "Uh, I - I guess so." he answered Hendrickson softly.

Hendrickson smiled nodding, satisfied with the answer.

Adam however stood frowning, not looking at Sam, but suddenly finding the floor very interesting.

Hendrickson went to the small closet and took out the bag of Sam's personal belongings and walked over to the bed, handing it to Sam, "Could you, do the honors?" 

Sam nodded, opening the bag with his good hand and reaching in, grabbed the cell and pulled it out, handing it to Hendrickson.

"Thanks, Sam." Hendrickson nodded, turning to face Adam.

"I'll call you if we get anything." Victor told him.

Adam nodded, "Yeah, okay, sounds good."

Hendrickson took the bag back from Sam and returned it to the small closet by the door, "I need to get this to the station." he said, holding up the cell, "I'll see you two later."

Once Victor had left, Adam sat down in the chair, arms crossed over his chest and stared off at a point on the wall not saying anything.

"Adam?" Sam said his name softly.

"Yeah, Sam?"

Sam licked his lips, "Uh, are you mad at me?"

Adam shook his head, "No, just..." he sighed and looked over at Sam, muscle in his jaw twitching, "I understand that he's your brother, Sam, but he almost killed you... I wasn't so sure you were gonna give Victor the cell at first. You don't," Adam licked his lips and sat forward taking Sam's hand in his, "you don't actually think that you two can really have any kind of relationship anymore do you?"

Sam frowned, tearing his gaze away from Adam as he looked down, "I want to," he looked back at Adam, "I mean, he's my brother, but," Sam shook his head, "no, I guess not." he told him softly, sadly.

Adam let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Sam, if it wasn't for the hitting, the abuse, I would understand, I wouldn't say anything, I - hell, I would want you to keep some kind of relationship with him, but now, like this, with him like this, you can't," he shook his head, "you just can't."

Sam nodded, eyes downcast, "Yeah, I know."

Voices at Sam's door drew both their attention as one of the hospital workers spoke with the guard.

After a moment the man walked in, pushing a wheelchair, a friendly smile on his face, "Sam Winchester?"

Sam nodded, watching as the guy went to the end of his bed to check Sam's chart, then replaced it.

"I need to take you to take you to x-ray," the guy told him.

Sam sighed and nodded, turning his head to look over at Adam, "I guess I'll be back in a minute."

Adam nodded, pulling to his feet, he leaned over Sam's bed before Sam could move to sit up and get out of the bed and into the wheelchair, "You go get x-rayed, I'm gonna go see about getting us something to nibble on that tastes better than shaved ice." he told him, brushing his lips across Sam's. "I love you."

Sam smiled softly, "Love you too."

* 

Adam returned to Sam's room twenty minutes later, his arms full of shopping bags.

Thankfully he had beaten Sam there.

Adam went to work placing items around the room as he had envisioned them. A large bouquet of roses on Sam's bedside table with a card attached, stood in a glass vase, candles were scattered about the room that Adam quickly lit as he set them up, hoping and praying that he didn't set off the smoke detectors as he did.

Pulling the bed tray over, he sat out the ice cream he had bought, chocolate chip cookie dough. After all, who didn't like cookie dough?

Setting two spoons out, Adam frowned down at them and then tucked one back into the bag with a grin, before hurrying over to shut off the room's bright over head light.

The bathroom light was still on, but for some reason the damn thing didn't have an off switch Adam found out after searching for what must have been another ten minutes, so he simply pulled the door to.

He finished without a moment to spare, hearing Sam's voice speaking low as he was wheeled up the hall.

Adam moved to stand behind the bed, then on second thought moved to stand in front of the bed, but then he thought that maybe he was blocking the flowers and moved again to stand at the foot of the bed, and before he could change his mind and move again, Sam was being wheeled into the room.

Adam smiled wide at him as he was wheeled in, the wide eyed look of shock on his face making Adam hang his head before looking up at the x-ray tech who had been pushing Sam's chair.

"Uh, I think I should probably make my exit as soon as possible, I'm obviously in the way,"the x-ray tech stammered, looking from Adam to Sam.

"Let's get you back in bed quick here." the tech suggested.

Sam licked his lips and nodded, "Uh, yeah," he agreed, before looking at Adam, who stood worrying his bottom lip.

The tech and Adam helped Sam get back into bed and positioned comfortably, then the tech hurried to leave, winking at Adam on his way by and giving a nod of approval.

Sam looked at Adam smiling and shaking his head, "How do you get away with this stuff?"

Adam shrugged a shoulder, "It's the badge... or my charming personality... or both."

Sam chuckled, reaching for the car on the flowers, "You bought me flowers? And there are candles? And..." Sam frowned as he looked at the small ice cream tub, "Ice cream?"

Adam shrugged a shoulder as he moved to sit on the side of Sam's bed facing him, "Well, we never really had a proper first date, so..."

"So, you thought to make us one... in the hospital?" Sam said, brows raised.

Adam grinned, "It's something we can tell our grand kids." 

Sam's smile slowly fell away.

"What's the matter?" Adam asked him, starting to panic a little.

Had he said too much? Was Sam not thinking long term? Maybe he'd just blown it, scared Sam away. Aw, shit....

Sam replaced the card in the flowers without reading it, "Adam, um, we need to talk."

Adam swallowed and nodded. Here it came, the old kiss off.

"Look, Sam, if this is just a fling for you, I get that. It's fine. I'm not expecting anything, I don't know why I said that," he looked away, "Well, yeah, I do, because it's what I want," he looked back at Sam, "but I get that you don't and it's okay. You don't have to explain. I'm sorry I said it, okay?" Adam shook his head, "I shouldn't have. Let's just forget it, okay?"

Sam looked at Adam like he'd just slapped him. "Adam, I - you - " he sighed and looked down, "just, let me talk first and then you can decide if you want this to go any farther or not," Sam looked up at him, "because you might not once I'm through with what I have to say."

Sam looked so serious in that moment that Adam felt a tendril of fear slither down his spine as he nodded. "Okay."

Sam nodded and licked his lips as he looked down at his hand on the blanket. "Adam, I - I believe in monsters, ghosts, things that go bump in the night -"

Adam shrugged a shoulder, "A lot of people are superstitious, Sam. I'm not going to run away because you are superstitious."

Sam looked up at him shaking his head, "Not superstitious, Adam. I hunted them, with my brother. It's what we do, did. I'm a hunter of evil, supernatural evil. It's what we all do, did. My father, my brother, me."

Adam frowned, "Sam, that's what your brother wanted you to believe, but he's a very sick man, he -"

"No, Adam!" Sam interrupted sternly, "Not about this." he added, voice softer.

"My mother died in a fire when I was a baby, that you know, but," Sam pressed his lips together for a moment, "she died because of me, because a demon came into my room and she found him there. A demon killed my mother, Adam. That same demon killed my girlfriend Jessica."

Sam gaze met Adam's but Adam's expression was unreadable.

Dropping his gaze once more, Sam continued, "I'm cursed, Adam. Everyone who gets close to me seems to die," he took a deep breath, "My brother killed the demon who killed our mother, but not before he also killed our father," tears pricked Sam's eyes, "Our father made a deal with the demon to save Dean's life. His soul for Dean's life." Sam looked up at Adam, "It should have been me. I should have been the one to give up my life for Dean, not our dad." he told him softly, "If it wasn't for me, our parents would still be alive."

Adam shook his head, "I don't believe this,"

"It's true." Sam told him.

Adam shook his head, "It was _not_ your fault Sam. Sounds to me like it was your father's choice. As for your mother, you were a baby. What the hell fault is it of an infants, no. I don't believe it."

Sam blinked at him, "The demon -?"

Adam shrugged, "Okay, fine, maybe there are demons. I believe in angels, so why not?"

Sam choked out a near laugh, "Really?" he asked him, a tear slipping down his cheek.

Adam nodded, "Sure, " he reached out and wiped Sam's tear away with a thumb, "As for the hunting stuff," Adam sighed and shook his head, "Sam, I dunno what to believe, but if you say you did it, then you did it. What do you want me to do? Run screaming from the room? Sounds to me like if you really did this stuff, you're the one I should run to." Adam shrugged a shoulder, "But, I'm just an FBI agent not a hunter of the supernatural, maybe I got this all wrong?" he quirked a brow at Sam, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Sam shook his head, returning Adam's smile though his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

Reaching up with his good hand, Sam cupped Adam's neck and pulled him in kissing his lips softly, then doing it again and again.

"I thought you'd freak out," Sam murmured softly between kisses.

Adam shook his head, "Nah, I was worried you were gonna tell me you use to be a girl, now _that_ would have scared me!" Adam told him, a look of utter horror on his face.

Sam cracked up laughing at the look on Adam's face as they cling to one another.

*

Adam sat facing Sam, a spoon of ice cream lifted in his hand as he waited for Sam to finish the mouthful he had.

"You don't have to feed me." Sam told him around the ice cream.

"I like feeding you," Adam told him, taking the spoonful for himself and scooping out another one for Sam.

Sam smiled and swallowed, rolling his eyes. "You're gonna spoil me."

Adam smiled back at him as he shrugged a shoulder, "Nah, cause I expect the favor returned every time I get sick," he looked down into the ice cream tub then back up at Sam shaking his head, "I'm a horrible patient."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Great."

Before he could say more, Adam shoved a spoonful of ice cream into Sam's mouth laughing as he made a mess smearing it across Sam's lips.

"Hey! Sticky!" Sam complained.

"I'll clean it off," Adam told him as he leaned in, running his tongue slowly across Sam's lips.

"Cold." Sam added, not moving.

"I'll warm you up." Adam told him softly.

"No, I mean you are... I can't do anything and you're not playing nice."

Adam chucked, leaning in to drop a soft kiss on Sam's lips before pulling back and scooping out more ice cream.

Voices at Sam's room door drew their attention.

"I'm sorry, no one is allowed in without clearance." Officer Hendrix said.

Adam froze, his gaze meeting Sam who sat motionless, his heart monitor showing how he was getting agitated.

Adam reached for Sam's hand, "It's okay, might not be him. Just hold on."

Adam slowly pulled from the bed, placing the ice cream tub and spoon on the bed tray.

"Look, you might be here to protect Sam, but you either let me ion there or you're gonna be pickin' your ass up off the fl-"

"Uh, Ellen maybe you better let me handle this."

Sam looked at Adam his eyes wide, "That's Bobby and Ellen," he nodded, "let them come in. It's okay, let them come in."

Adam quirked a brow, "You sure?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah," he pushed himself more upright in the bed, watching at the door to his room as Adam walked over and spoke to Hendrix.

Adam turned and walked back into the room, flicking on the light by the door as he walked. "Hendrix is just checking their IDs, they'll be able to come in in just a second." Adam told him as he began blowing out the candles in the room.

Sam smiled, "Checking Bobby and Ellen's ID?"

Oh this ought to be good.

Apparently Bobby and Ellen had prepared for such a thing as they soon walked into the room. No mysterious identities this time, obviously.

"Hey, boy!" Bobby greeted, grabbing Sam's foot through the blanket and giving it a tug, "Ya don't look no worse for the wear."

Sam grinned at him, "Hey, Bobby."

"Sam, I ought to smack you up side the head! I told you not to go see Dean!" she shook her head, as she looked at him, "You're damn lucky you aren't dead."

Sam sighed, looking down, "Yeah, I know, I just thought..." he sighed, shaking his head, "doesn't matter now." he looked back up at her and offered her a small smile, "Thanks for... what you did, Ellen. Hendrickson told me you called him."

Ellen nodded, "I hated to do it, I love Dean, you know that, but," she sighed, "I couldn't let anything happen to you and I knew you were too damn stubborn to listen."

Sam licked his lips and looked over at Adam before looking back at Ellen and Bobby, "Um, I want you both to meet someone. Adam, this is Ellen and Bobby."

Adam held out his hand to shake both their hands one at a time.

"Nice to meet you both." Adam told them with a nod, smiling.

"I'd like to thank you too, Ellen. For calling about Sam," Adam looked over at Sam, then back at her again, "it was lucky we got there when we did."

Ellen nodded, "Yeah, well, Sam and Dean are like my own boys, I wouldn't let something happen," her eyes narrowed, "to either one of them."

Adam shifted his weight and hung his head.

Bobby looked from Ellen and Adam back to Sam, "So, how long they got ya in here for?"

Sam shook his head, "If Adam has his way I'll likely be in here until I'm running up and down the halls, but, I feel like I can leave now."

Adam looked at Sam giving him a 'don't even think about it' look.

After a few minutes the four of them began to talk and the awkwardness seemed to slowly slip away, it wasn't until Sam was yawning that Ellen and Bobby realized how long they had been there.

"We'll go and let you get some sleep, darlin'," Ellen told Sam, as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

Glancing up at Bobby, she looked back to Sam, "We'll stop back by in the morning to see you for a little while, if that's okay."

Sam smiled, "That'd be great."

Ellen nodded, offering him a smile as she patted his shoulder.

"If you're going to have company in the morning, Sweetling, maybe I could run into work? I haven't been there in a while and Hendrickson says my desk is buried in papers."

"Go, it's fine." Sam told him nodding, a smile on his face. "I'll have Ellen and Bobby here and after they go, I till have either Hendrix or Cochran at the door, and don't forget about Claudette, no one can get past her," he chuckled, rolling his eyes, a wide smile making his dimples show, "I'll be fine."

Adam bit his lip as he thought it over, then nodded, "Okay, I'll go in tomorrow morning, just for a few hours then."

Bobby walked up to Sam, fishing around in one of his pockets and pulled out a set of keys, laying them down on the bed tray, "I think you ought to have her, Sam." 

Sam looked down at the keys, knowing that they went to the Impala and swallowed hard.

"She was brought in to the salvage yard and well, I just, it don't seem right for one of you boys not to have her." Bobby told him, "She's parked out side for ya for when you get outta this place."

Sam nodded, tearing his gaze from the keys he looked up at Bobby, offering a small smile, "Thanks, Bobby."

* * *

Adam left the hospital early the next morning just before Sam was served his breakfast.

Sam teased him about not wanting to stay and partake of his lovely hospital food breakfast, but Adam was adamant that it wasn't the food that tore him away but Hendrickson's dirty looks and the papers that were piled so high on his desk he was likely going to have to swim through them to find it.

Sam chuckled at him as he tore himself away from Sam with a groan after kissing Sam enough times you would think he was going to be gone for a week.

Walking out Sam's hospital room, Adam stopped to tell Officer Cochran to make damn sure no one came into Sam's room that wasn't suppose to be there, like the guy didn't already know that.

Sam rolled his eyes, still chuckling softly, when Adam disappeared around the corner.

Not a half hour after Adam left, Sam's room phone rang.

Sam reached over answering it, figuring it was Adam.

"Hello?"

"Hell, sweetie, listen, Bobby and I are gonna be late. It was crazy as hell here last night after I left apparently and Jo and I got a mess and a half to clean up. We'll be there as soon as I can see the damn floor again." Ellen told him.

Sam smiled into the phone. "No problem, Ellen, I apparently aren't going anywhere." he sighed, leaning his head back on the pillows.

"Alright, you want us to bring you anything when we come?" Ellen asked.

Sam chuckled, "A spoon so I can tunnel my way out?"

Ellen smiled and shook her head, "A little rest will do ya good, Sam. We'll see ya this afternoon."

* * *  
Sam spent the day cooped up in his room, Claudette came in and spent some time with him talking to him about whatever subject happened to be easy enough to grab on to, but Sam was getting antsy. He wasn't use to being cooped up in a hospital, especially when he was feeling as good as he was. 

Sure, Sam was still sore, but sore went with the job description for a hunter, so it wasn't that big of a deal for him.

Adam had called him nearly every two hours always promising that it would be just another hour or two and he'd leave, but Sam knew Adam was busy. 

Sam could hear Hendrickson in the background telling Adam 'like hell he would' every time Adam said he would sneak out and be there shortly.

Sam felt bad that Adam had missed so much work and that he was trying to get out of it now, on his account. He didn't need a babysitter, he was just bored to tears and totally convinced that he no longer needed to be in the hospital.

On one of Claudette many passes through his room, Sam asked her about checking himself out of the hospital.

* * *  
[Later that afternoon, sometime after 5Pm]

The phone rang and Jo hurried over to it, abruptly ending her argument with Ash about his getting another free beer.

"Roadhouse, Jo."

"Hey Jo, lemme talk to Ellen."

Jo frowned into the phone.

"Dean? Is that you?" 

"Yeah, Jo, it's me, put Ellen on the phone alright?" Dean told her, sounding put out by her questions.

"I can't, Mom's not here right now, she and Bobby went to the hospital to see Sa -" Jo's eyes widened as she looked over at Ash who was looking at her, his eyes equally as wide.

"Uh, I mean they went to the hospital to see a friend." she quickly corrected.

The phone was already dead.

Sam? They went to the hospital to see Sam? Sam was alive? If Sam was alive that meant he was still with that Adam guy. SonuvaBITCH!

Dean threw a punch at the side of the car he'd stolen, teeth clenched together in anger.

After kicking the tire nearest him, Dean grabbed the car door handle and slid behind the wheel, gunning the engine and turning the car around, kicking up dirt and gravel as he sped back the way he'd come.

Jo looked over at Ash, her eyes wide as she hung up the phone. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" 

She quickly picked the receiver back up, "I gotta call Mom and tell her what happened, she's gonna have my ass!" Jo whined.

Ash whistled, shaking his head, "Been nice known ya Jo."

Jo shot Ash a look, "Yeah, no kidding." she mumbled, waiting for her mom to pick up.

"Yeah, Jo? What's the matter, Ash givin' ya a hard way to go?" Ellen asked as she answered her cell.

"Mom, Dean called here." Jo blurted out.

Ellen and Bobby were driving to the hospital, Ellen riding in Bobby's truck with him. She looked over at him now, here eyes wide.

"What did he say, Jo Beth?" Ellen asked carefully.

"He - he wanted to talk to you and I - I slipped and told him you and Bobby were on your way to the hospital, I kinda said Sam's name." Jo stammered, biting her lip.

"Jo Beth Harvelle! Sonofabitch!" Ellen yelled into the cell before turning her attention to Bobby, "Dean called, Jo slipped up and told him we were going to see Sam at the hospital."

"Dang nab it, Jo!" Bobby ground out, "What the hell was she thinkin'!?"

Ellen shook her head frowning, "Jo, stay near the phone, if Dean calls back you try to see where the hell he is and keep your damn yap shut about Sam!"

Ellen ended the call and dialed Dean's number.

Dean turned down the street lined with old fashioned looking street lights, only these were powered by electricity only made to look old, houses dotted each side of the road, but there was one in particular he was looking for.

At the ringing of his cell, Dean frowned, pulling it out.

Who the hell...?

Looking at the display, Dean sighed in relief.

Ellen...

Flicking the cell open, the corner of Dean's lips quirked upward into an almost smile, "Hey, Ellen!'

"Dean? Dean, where are you?" Ellen asked him, as she turned to look over at Bobby.

Dean shook his head frowning, though Ellen couldn't see it, "Doesn't matter, Ellen. Listen, I need you to do me a favor,"

Ellen shook her head at Bobby who swore under his breath.

"Dean, listen to me, I know what Jo said to you," Ellen told him, "don't you go flyin' off the handle now, just leave your brother be."

Dean pulled the car into a wooded area just past the house he was looking for and parked, turning off the engine.

"What's to fly off the handle about? Just because Sam's in the hospital and no one told me, I mean, I take it he's doing alright then, huh?" Dean answered.

Ellen didn't say anything.

"From your silence I'll take it that Sam's fine. That's good, believe me, no one could be more relieved." Dean told her.

"Dean, don't go getting into trouble." Ellen told him.

Dean opened the car door and slid from behind the wheel, closing the door after him, "No trouble Ellen, in fact, soon there won't be anymore trouble between me and Sam at all." Dean told her then snapped his cell closed ending the call.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is tired of being scared and in pain, he's tired of the lies. This Time, Dean's idea of love is not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fiction is based on the video by herebutnotremembered, her video can be found [ HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBp5Js4zAQc&feature=share&list=PL5D03DBC39A7D6548)
> 
> The Fanfiction was written for Livejournal's community's “Breaking the Norm - Dean Winchester” Challenge. (Which I won due to this fiction. ♥.)

Adam pulled up from his chair behind his desk, finally getting through most of the paper work after being at the office a hell of a lot longer than he had intended to be.

Stretching, Adam stumbled out into the main part of the office and into Hendrickson's.

"I'm outta here, I got most of that crap done now, so... think I'll go by the house before going to the hospital and get a shower, I smell like paper products and ink." Adam told Hendrickson.

Victor glanced up at him, nodding. "Yeah, fine. Have a good night, man. Thanks for comin' in and gettin' that taken care of."

Adam nodded and glanced over his shoulder toward his office before looking back at Hendrickson, "Yeah, it wasn't that bad, just want to get back to Sam."

Hendrickson rolled his eyes and nodded, making Adam chuckle as he turned and headed for the door.

"See ya later, Vic, have a good one!" Adam called as he headed to the door.

* * *

Sam sat on the edge of his bed dressed in street clothes that Hendrickson had brought for him from Adam's for when he was able to check out.

Jeans, a tee and over shirt, even his jacket. 

Sam had to smile seeing everything Hendrickson had brought, when Adam had told him days ago that the FBI agent had brought him clothes, Sam had thought he meant sweats and a tee. 

This was much better than that.

Pulling on his boots, Sam sat back and signed the last paper that Claudette handed him to sign to get him checked out of the hospital.

"You take good care a yourself, baby." she told him gathering up the papers into a neat pile as she smiled warmly at him.

Sam nodded, returning her smile, "I will. Thanks for everything, Claudette."

One of the young hospital volunteers brought a wheelchair in to wheel Sam out to the front door of the hospital.

Sam pressed his lips together and looked over at Claudette, "I can walk, I mean, I'll be fine. Adam should be here in just a second, I can meet him at the front. It's fine, really."

Claudette looked over at the slip of a girl with the wheelchair and back to Sam and sighed, "Alright, baby, that's fine." she waved off the girl with the wheelchair, turning to look back at Sam after the girl had pushed the chair back out of the room.

"The only reason I am letting you do this is because that poor child would have thrown her back out pushing you to the door." Claudette told him, brow quirked, hand on her hip.

Sam chuckled as he pulled from the bed and dropped a kiss on Claudette's plump cheek.

"Thanks, Claudette. Have a good night." Sam told her as he turned and headed for the door.

Claudette raised a hand to her cheek as she watched Sam walk out, shaking her head, "You too, baby."

Turning from the door, Claudette began to strip Sam's bed, muttering to herself under her breath, "Pretty boys are gonna be the death of you, Claudette Smith."

 

Stepping off the elevator on the ground floor, Sam reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell, thankful that Hendrickson had returned it late the night before. 

Sam figured he'd call Adam as soon as he got out to the Impala and let him know he was on his way home, then maybe Adam wouldn't feel so pressured to get out of work, like he needed to speed out of the office and to the hospital.

Reaching the Impala, Sam unlocked the door and slid behind the wheel, smiling softly as he ran a hand over the steering wheel, "I'm not the one who should be driving you, but, it's better than the idea of you rotting away in the salvage yard." he mumbled to the car as he inserted the key in the ignition and started the engine.

Scrolling down to Adam's name on his cell, Sam hit the call button and waited for Adam to pick up.

* * *

Driving away from the police station, Adam pulled out his cell and dialed Sam's cell knowing he would have it on the bed stand near him even in the hospital. 

A smile on his face as he drove toward home, Adam waited for Sam to pick up.

* * * 

Adam had only been gone from the office for five minutes when Officer Dotson rushed to the door of Hendrickson's office. 

"Sir, Dean Winchester is using his phone and we got a handle on his local."

Hendrickson looked up at the young officer, nearly dropped his coffee cup as he stood to his feet and rushed out of the room after him, heading down the hall.

* * * 

Sam was backing out of the parking place when Adam's cell was transferred to his voice mail, his friendly, cheery voice answering the call and asking the caller to leave him a message.

Sam couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips as he licked them, "Uh, hey you! It's me, I got antsy sitting in the hospital, I checked out and I'm heading home. I'll see you there in a few." Sam smiled slightly as he closed his cell.

* * *

Adam frowned when Sam's cell went to voice mail hoping to of gotten to talk to him.

"Hey, sweets, it's me. I finally made it out of there, but I smell like papers and ink and well, gross. So, listen, I'm heading home to shower and then I'll be right up there. If you need me to pick up anything for you just call me and let me know, okay? I'll see you soon. Bye."

Adam closed his cell and tucked it into the tray in his dashboard.

* * *

"Goddammit! Someone get me Verona on the damn phone, NOW!" Hendrickson yelled as he watched the little blinking light on the screen and read off the address for the millionth time.

Shit, shit and double shit!

Dean Winchester was at Adam's fucking house!

* * * 

Reaching for his cell, Adam dialed Sam's hospital room, just in case his cell was turned off.

* * * 

Officer Dotson looked over at Hendrickson and shook his head, "Agent Verona isn't answering his cell, sir."

"God dammit, Adam!" Hendrickson shouted.

The phone rang and Hendrickson snatched it up. "Hello!?"

"Hendrickson?" Ellen asked, confusion at the anger in his voice evident in hers.

"Yes, ma'am, this is Hendrickson."

"This is Ellen Harvelle, Dean Winchester knows Sam is alive." She told him.

"Sonofa - " Hendrickson bit his lip to keep from cussing in her ear, "And just how the hell does he know that!?"

"There was, uh, a small information leak, he called my daughter and she accidentally-"

"Oh that's wonderful, lady! Now because your daughter can't keep a damn secret, I might be scrapping up two dead bodies tonight. Sonofabitch!" 

This time, Hendrickson let the cuss word fly. not caring.

"Look, Hendrickson, she didn't mean to tell him, alright, she knows she screwed up!" Ellen snapped back.

"Great, that's just great." Hendrickson sighed, nodding.

"And what do you mean, two?" Ellen asked.

"Nevermind, just - just stay out of it. We've got it from here, thanks for the information." Hendrickson told her and hung up the phone.

"Dammit, someone get me the hospital AND Sam's cell phone! NOW!" Hendrickson yelled, hands on his hips before reaching for his jacket and heading for the door.

* * *   
Sam thought about everything that had happened between him and Dean as he drove, about all the lies and the pain, about how Dean never really would talk to him anymore, how nothing he ever did was good enough.

Sam shook his head at himself. 

He had really been that naive as to think he could talk Dean into understanding about Adam?

He thought about what he said to Dean as he was beating him and raping him, "You wanna take another swing, go ahead. Hit me all you want, it won't change anything."

And about Ellen, when she told him, "It's not your fault, Sam. None of it is."

Tears stung Sam's eyes as he thought about the brother he had actually lost so long ago. It had just taken Sam this long to see it.

* * * 

Dotson ran after him a few moments later. "Hendrickson! I got Sam on line one!"

Hendrickson stepped into the office he was closest to, Adam's office, and grabbed the phone.

"Sam?" Hendrickson asked as soon as he picked up the receiver.

"Yeah, Hendrickson? Look I know I checked out early, but tell Adam not to freak, I'm fine -" Sam started, only to have Hendrickson cut him off.

"Sam, this isn't about that." Victor sighed as he lifted a hand to run it down his face. "Listen, we located your brother... he's at Adam's house. Adam was on his way home to shower before going to see you. I need you to call Dean, Sam and keep him busy. DO NOT engage with him, Sam. JUST talk to him on the phone, we're on our way!"

Sam nodded, jaw clenched, muscle in his jaw twitching.

"And Adam?" he asked, voice soft, strained.

Hendrickson sighed, "I dunno, Sam. He's not answering his cell, but, that doesn't mean anything. You just stay put in the car, you hear me!? Let us handle this!"

Sam took a deep breath as he nodded, "Okay."

Hendrickson rolled his eyes Heavenward in a silent prayer of thanks, "Okay, we'll be there in no time. Trust me on this, Sam." Hendrickson told him before hanging up the phone and running out of the office.

Sam pulled the Impala to a stop a few houses down from Adam's and took a deep breath as he scrolled down to Dean's number, pressing the call button.

Sam heard the call answered, then the voice on the other end say his name,"Sammy?" 

Dean's voice was hushed, cold, dark, eerie sounding.

Sam swallowed and wondered since when it was that his brother's voice made a chill run down his back.

"Dean." Sam answered back, cleared his throat, "Where - where are you?"

Dean chuckled into the phone and it sounded like sand paper rubbing together, hushed and maniacal, cold and evil.

Dean shook his head as he stood in the middle of a room on the second floor of Adam's house.

Climbing in the window after cutting the electric wires hadn't been hard, what had was finding the wires to the alarm system and cutting those before they went off.

But hell, he was Dean Winchester, he managed and he was in now, in Adam's bedroom he was certain of it, with the master bath attached.

Dean looked around the room as he grinned, "Oh, Sammy Sammy Sammy, what the hell kind of boyfriend did you find? A yellow bedroom, really?" 

Sam frowned but didn't answer, it wasn't like that question deserved one anyway.

"I wasn't so sure that I had the right room, but then, I smelled you," Dean ran a hand, one that held the silver pistol, over the bedspread as he spoke low into the phone.

"I can still smell you, Sammy. Can still smell your musk from when you fucked him," Dean grinned, "or, I should say, when you let him fuck you."

"Dean," Sam sighed, muscle in his jaw twitching as he turned his head to look out the window.

"Tell me about it, Sam. Was he good? Did he make you cum hard, Sammy? Huh? Or did you think of me the whole time?" Dean asked him as his face twisted into a sneer of anger.

"Dean, just stop it, alright!?" Sam told him, frowning angrily into the phone.

"Aww, what's a matter, Sammy? You don't like me talkin' about your new fuck buddy? Okay, how about I tell you about how I'm gonna kill him when he comes home? Huh? Would that be better? About how I'm gonna wait for him and shoot him when he walks in the door." Dean suggested. 

"But the bullet won't kill him, nah, I gotta carve him up a bit first. If you're a good boy, Sammy, I'll let you listen to him scream." Dean sneered.

Sam turned his head to look out the other car window as cars began pulling up around him, Hendrickson getting out of one and motioning to him to keep talking as the officers crept closer to the house, heading around back of it, Hendrickson with them.

"Sam!?" Dean's voice drew Sam's attention back to the phone call.

Sam cleared his throat, "Yeah, Dean, I'm here."

"Aww, Sammy, what's the matter, you get all teary eyed over the idea of me killin' your little fuck buddy?" Dean asked him.

Sam huffed, but didn't answer, jaw clenched.

"Don't worry, Sam, cause when I'm done with him, I'm gonna carve you up into little bite size pieces too, you fuckin' little whore!" Dean sneered.

Sam looked out the side window, watching as the last officer made it into the house.

"Yeah, you do that Dean, just, uh, make sure you sharpen the knife real good, 'kay, cause I think it's gonna be kinda hard for you to do other wise." Sam told him.

Dean looked down at the phone in puzzlement. 

Sam didn't sound scared, Sam sounded... cocky.

... the HELL?

The door to the bedroom burst open a second later and a startled Dean looked up, wide eyed at the door, staring directly at two armed officers, guns pointed at him.

Sonuvabitch!

Dean shook his head in anger as he grit his teeth swearing under his breath. "Goddammit!"

"Down on the floor! Now! Move!" One of the officers shouted.

As soon as Sam heard the police in the background, he hung up his cell.

Dean raised his arms up, slowly moving to kneel on the floor, head lowered.

The officers hurried over, half helping Dean down, half shoving him onto the floor, face first onto the plush white carpet.

One officer moved to quickly pull Dean's arms behind his back cuffing him as the other read him his rights.

Dean grit his teeth in anger.

Goddamn you, Sam!

Dean saw black dress shoes slowly making their way into the room from the corner of his eye and looked up to see non other than Hendrickson looking down at him.

"Now look what we have here, I told you this day would come, Winchester, and now, I got you." Hendrickson told him nodding as he spoke.

The officers dragged Dean up to his feet.

Dean and Hendrickson glared at one another for a brief moment before Hendrickson jutted his head toward the door, "Get this piece of trash out of Adam's house."

The officers led Dean out of the room and down the stairs.

* * * 

Adam's camaro came screeching around the corner, back end fishtailing as it turned, engine roaring as he sped down the road, the car screeching to a halt just as he passed the Impala.

Sam looked out the side window as Adam slid from behind the wheel, car still running, the door wide open and ran to the Impala.

"Sam! Sam! Are you alright!?" Adam yelled as he ran.

Sam pulled from the Impala, and Adam rushed into him, hugging him tightly, before pulling back to look at him.

"Are you alright? He didn't get you? You didn't go inside? You're safe?" Adam asked in a rush.

Sam nodded, "I'm fine, It's okay, Hendrickson is inside. What happened? Where were you?" 

Adam let out a breath, one hand running down Sam's arm to hold onto his hand, still unable to believe that he wasn't coming home to find Sam dead, killed by his own brother.

"I tried to call your cell, but it went to voice mail, then I tried your room at the hospital and no one answered, I got worried and went by," Adam shrugged, "Claudette told me that you had already checked out, that you told her you were leaving with me!"

Sam hung his head, "Uh, yeah, I kinda lied."

"No shit?" Adam shook his head.

"When I got back to my car I heard over the scanner that Dean was in my, our house and all I could think was that you had come here and Dean had found you," Adam shook his head, "my thoughts went down hill after that."

Sam pulled Adam to him, wrapping his arms around him. "Sorry, I scared you."

Adam hugged Sam tight, breathless from running and his panic, he nodded. "It's okay, I'm just glad you're alright."

Sam looked over just as Dean was being led across the lawn to the patrol car.

Adam turned, releasing Sam and started to walk toward Dean, his steps angry. "You break in to my fucking house you sick sadistic sonofabitch!?" Adam yelled at him.

Sam grabbed Adam stopping him from going over. 

"Don't," Sam shook his head, "he's not worth it. The brother I knew died a long time ago, I guess."

Sam and Adam watched as they put Dean in the back of the patrol car, then the car drive away.

* * * 

[Two hours later]

Dean sat on the small cot in his jail cell, hands clasped as they were now cuffed in front of him. 

He watched his brother walk in to the room, Adam stopping at the door.

Sam sat down in a chair out side of Dean's cell.

"Hey," Sam said softly.

Dean looked over at him nodding before he rolled his eyes. "Now you come to see me, Sam?" Dean scoffed and shook his head.

Sam shook his head slightly, "No," he told him softly, "just came to say goodbye... for good."

Dean looked at him, brows raised before looking away.

"I'm worth more than you gave me, Dean. I'm not a bad person, and all that stuff, mom and dad, that wasn't my fault. I didn't deserve to be hit all the time, or the things that you said to me." Sam told him.

Dean licked his lips, "Yeeah..." he said as he lifted a hand to his mouth, wiping downward before clasping his hands again and looking away unimpressed by Sam's words.

"You can think what you want about me, Dean, but you're no better than I am. If I'm to blame for that stuff, then so are you. We're blood, we're family. You're m,y brother, but," Sam shook his head, "doesn't mean I have to put up with you abusing me. And I won't, not anymore." Sam told him as he pulled to his feet.

Dean looked back over at him, frowning thoughtfully. 

Maybe some of what Sam was saying was getting through. Maybe.

"This time, Dean," Sam shook his head, "it's not enough for me. I found better." Sam told him, before turning and walking back toward Adam and out the door, down the hall.

* * * 

Out in the main section of the station, Sam stood with Hendrickson.

"Your brother is gonna be behind bars for a long time, Sam." Hendrickson told him, shaking his head, "you don't have to worry about him anymore."

Sam smiled and nodded.

"Thanks for your help, keepin' him busy while we got there." Hendrickson told him.

Sam nodded, as he looked down to see Hendrickson holding his hand out for Sam to shake it.

Sam shook Hendrickson's hand, a small smile on his face.

"Hey, Vic! You tryin' to steal my man!?" Adam yelled up the hall, grinning at his partner as Adam finished with a few last minute details.

Hendrickson rolled his eyes as he dropped his hand, "Oh yeah, Verona, you know it, cause I can't get me enough of you funny little white boys." Hendrickson muttered under his breath as he turned and walked back into his office to fill out the reports.

Adam cracked up laughing in the hallway, Sam chuckling, with them, dimples showing.

Free, he was finally free of Dean's abuse... and now, maybe This Time he could love and be happy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

One more hour burns  
So scared of his return  
That I can't sleep tonight  
In this hospital light

You call a tragedy  
Is just another day to me  
For my heart beats with fear   
As his footsteps draw near

The life I meant to lead  
Won't slip away from me..

'Cuz this time is the last time  
I know that my eyes have seen too much  
This nightmare is not fair  
And I've had enough

You break me, and as I bleed  
You just say you're sorry  
You call this love?  
But this time your lies   
Are not enough  
This time..

There's nothing left of this  
Your wispered words and empty threats  
Rip away the seams of what I thought this would be  
The last thread has come undone  
To reveal what I've become  
Another victim of a poison love

I've been afraid for years  
But that won't keep me here..

'Cuz this time is the last time  
I know that my eyes have seen too much  
This nightmare is not fair  
And I've had enough

You break me   
To just say you're sorry  
You call this love?  
But this time your lies  
Are not enough  
This time..

What remains a mystery  
You can not have the best of me  
So I'm taking back   
All you took from me

'Cuz this time is the last time  
I know that my eyes have seen too much  
This nightmare is not fair  
And I've had enough

You break me   
To just say you're sorry  
You call this love?  
But this time your lies  
Are not enough  
This time..

~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~


End file.
